tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33997577449781345472024-02-02T11:44:56.187-08:00Pink Roses & Chocolate“The key is for you to discover what you love to do, what you were created to do, and then do it for the people around you with love. That is the abundant life, dear girl, no matter where in the world you live.” ~ Robin Jones Gunn Kerihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06599186443051980672noreply@blogger.comBlogger98125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3399757744978134547.post-50623705059486602682016-01-29T18:01:00.001-08:002016-01-29T18:01:48.778-08:00"The LORD your God is with you..." ~ Zephaniah 3:17<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Guess what? This is my 100th post! I started this blog eight years ago in June 2008 and I've varied over the years what kinds of things I posted about and how often I would post and then two years ago I started writing about my faith journey. It's been a wonderful process sharing my thoughts and struggles and emotions through these posts. I am so thankful for the encouragement and support I've received from friends and family who read these words, and I'm also grateful for those who read and remain silent. I do that a lot and I know how meaningful other peoples words have been to me. I've challenged myself in the past year or so to make connections with those bloggers whose work impacts me by leaving comments and it's been a blessing to see some friendships begin to blossom. I'm excited to hit this milestone post, and I've been thinking about future posts and what I might write about this year. I have some ideas and look forward to continuing this journey and sharing here with you.<br />
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<i>“The LORD your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He
will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will
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Zephaniah 3:17<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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This has always been one of my favorite verses and I'm beginning to think it might be a life verse for me. It seems to touch on the issues I struggle with - fear, worry, feeling overwhelmed, needing to please, being afraid - and address them with the truth. God is with me so I am never alone. He is strong and dependable and will save me. He delights in me - He made me exactly as I am and delights in the things that make me, me. He provides rest and quiet when I'm overwhelmed. He loves me. He rejoices over me. It is a beautiful reminder of His promises, His truth, and His love. <br />
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<i>“Build altars in the places where I remind you who I am, and
I will come and bless you there.” ~ Exodus 20:24b</i><br />
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<i>“The voice of the sea speaks to the soul.” ~ Kate Chopin<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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For me, the ocean has always been a special place of wonder and amazement. In particular the town of Cayucos holds a special place in my heart. My first visit was the summer of 1996 and it was the place where we debriefed for several days after spending 7 weeks traveling the United States on a mission trip. It was a busy summer full of new people, new experiences, lots of change and growth, lots of service and ministry, and we were tired. This town was a haven of rest. Quiet, peaceful, slow-paced and right on the ocean - it was beautiful and I loved it. The summer of 1998, I spent 10 weeks as a nanny for the team leaders three children on another summer mission trip and once again we debriefed in Cayucos. Once again, this was a place of rest, peace and beautiful surroundings. One night, I went for a walk and found a special place on a little rock hill where I could hear the ocean waves and only kind of see them since it was dark. I sat there and talked to God about things I was dealing with, about my feelings and thoughts and I don't even really remember exactly what. The important thing was that this became a special place to me - an altar in a place where I was reminded who God is, how big He is, and I felt so close to Him there. <br />
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Over the years, when I had the opportunity to visit Cayucos, I wondered about that special spot and looked for it on occasion but never seemed to find it. This past year, I found it! I was not only blessed to spend a week in Cayucos with my family for the week of Thanksgiving, but I was overwhelmingly amazed to have the opportunity to stay five extra days on my own! I had never vacationed completely alone before and although I was excited about it and knew I'd enjoy the time by myself, I also felt a bit of guilt at doing something just for me. But Josh was very supportive and so I booked a room at the Cayucos Beach Inn which is just across the street from the Cayucos Community Church where our team stayed those summers of 1996 and 1998. And just down the street from the church is a coastal access point which led to my spot! Back in 1998, it was just a small hill, but now there is a wooden platform with benches and a railing and it was wonderful to rediscover a place that has such meaning for me. The first morning of my solo trip, I got up very early and made my way to my spot and settled in to watch the sunrise. It was VERY cold and windy and I began to wish I'd worn slippers and brought a blanket, but it was so peaceful and wonderful. The quiet and stillness, the waves crashing on the shore, the sounds of birds, and the lovely sky changing color from blue to purple to pink to peach...and then the sun coming up and making the water look like diamonds. It was gorgeous and breathtaking and it meant so much to me to be there. <br />
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I spent every morning in my spot over the next few days - enjoying my coffee, interacting with a few people who obviously consider it their spot too, and never tiring of the beautiful ever-changing view. My heart felt so at peace. Being near the ocean was like a balm for my soul and to have several days alone was a beautiful gift. Although at times the silence in my room and the absence of conversation was a little much, in general I was surprised (but not really surprised) to find out how much I enjoyed the sense of quiet and the ability to do anything or everything on my own time table. I didn't have to ask anyone else's opinion, I wasn't truly limited to a clock, I could spend as much time or as little time on each thing as I wanted. I did use electronics a bit more than I had the previous week on vacation with my family, but that was only because I had to do some work on two different mornings and I did watch a couple movies as well. But most of my time was spent quietly reading or just sitting and thinking/praying/talking to myself & God.<br />
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<i>"The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net
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<i>“I could never stay long enough on the shore; the tang of
the untainted, fresh, and free sea air was like a cool, quieting thought.” ~
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My lovely days were spent eating breakfast at the inn, enjoying my coffee each morning at my special spot for a few hours, then back to my room to read or work. When I got hungry for lunch I took the opportunity to try the local pizza place one day and ate by the pier, I ate snacks in my room while watching a favorite movie (<i>Bridges of Madison County</i>) another day, took myself out to lunch at the Sea Shanty across the street once and then enjoyed my leftovers for lunch the next day. Afternoons were spent in my room reading or coloring and then around 3pm each day I'd walk down into town and take a long walk along the ocean. I watched the waves, enjoyed the swing set, looked for special shells, rocks and sea glass and every day waited for the beautiful sunset to arrive. After the beautiful art show God puts on every evening, I'd decide what to do for dinner. My favorite dinner was spent treating myself at Schooner's Wharf to a delicious meal of snow crab legs - it took some time to eat, but it was so amazingly yummy and was definitely the best meal of the week. In the evenings, I watched movies a few nights, listened to music one evening and just spent time reading. I didn't really stay up late or sleep in each day, and I felt very well rested and refreshed. It was a wonderful gift.<br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” </i></span><br />
<span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>~ Mark
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">One of the most important things I have been learning in the past year is the importance of rest. Our lives are so busy and everything seems so important and necessary right now and we very rarely actually allow ourselves to rest. I began to discover last year that our bodies can only handle going, going, going for so long and then they rebel. We are made for rest and God (who does not need to rest) even made time in creation to rest and appreciate His creation. For me it was an emotional breakdown, for some it might be sickness or depression or something else. I want to make sure that going forward I recognize the need and necessity of rest and make time for it - make it important and necessary. My time in Cayucos, both with my family and alone, was such a gift of complete rest. Time away from work, from my home, from my day-to-day life where I could focus on sleeping, eating, reading, spending time with family, walking, and enjoying the beauty of God's creation. I had time to talk to Him and more important to listen for His voice because my life, my heart and my head were quiet enough to hear Him. I know that not everyone has the opportunity to get away for so long and I feel incredibly grateful that I was blessed enough to have that time. But even in our daily life we can try to make time at least once a week to rest and relax and just be.</span><br />
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<i>“Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm,
for God can be trusted to keep His promise.” ~ Hebrews 10:23<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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The photo above was taken at the Sea Shanty restaurant. In the women's bathroom, the walls are filled with framed embroidery and cross-stitch pictures, many of them look fairly old and like they might have been family heirlooms or picked up at antique stores. This one caught my eye because I loved what it had to say. It's full of God's promises to us and it was so wonderful and encouraging. Such a wonderful reminder of God's truth and how He feels about us. To me it was a confirmation of His love and made me feel His presence once again in my favorite place. <br />
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I had a running conversation going with my beloved friend through text about my time in Cayucos and she was very encouraging and supportive of the good things God was teaching me. She currently lives in New Jersey, but is a California girl at heart and asked me to take a photo of my feet at the beach to send to her. This photo has become a wonderful symbol of love and peace and contentment - love for our friendship, love for Cayucos and the beach, and love for God. It makes my heart happy to see and I made magnets for us for Christmas so that we can always be reminded of this special time and place and meaning.<br />
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><i>“Give
thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.” </i></span><br />
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Going forward this year, I don't know exactly what will happen. I have no idea about the new things God will be teaching me about. I don't know what opportunities, or difficulties, or blessings are on their way. But I have confidence that God is in control and that He has a plan and a purpose for me, for this year, for my life. I want to be open to His leading and be open to continuing in this path of vulnerability and courage. I'm excited to see what things He will lead me to share in this blog and the ways in which my story will coincide with your story. Community is the key and I'm thankful to share one with you.<br />
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<i><span class="textexposedshow">“But I talk about my life anyway
because if, on the one hand, hardly anything could be less important, on the
other hand, hardly anything could be more important. My story is important not
because it is mine, God knows, but because if I tell it anything like right,
the chances are you will recognize that in many ways it is also yours. Maybe
nothing is more important than that we keep track, you and I, of these stories
of who we are and where we have come from and the people we have met along the
way because it is precisely through these stories in all their particularity,
as I have long believed and often said, that God makes himself known to each of
us most powerfully and personally” ~ </span>Frederick Buechner</i><br />
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“Others need you – your story, your words, your example.
Your plan isn’t just about you; it’s also about everyone He’s already prepared
to see and hear you.” ~Deidra Manning</i></div>
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Thank you for taking the time to read my posts. Thank you for sharing your comments and insights and thoughts with me. Thank you for the times you said "me too!" and made me feel less alone. Thank you for encouraging me and being touched by the words God has given me to share here. Thank you for reading even if you never post or comment - I have faith that these stories mean something to you too. If you decide to be brave and reach out, I will be thankful, but I will also understand if you don't. Know that I appreciate each and every one of you. Even though it's taken me 8 years, it's still hard to believe this is my 100th post. It means a lot to have this space and this opportunity to share with you. </div>
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<i><b>Thank you...thank you...thank you.</b></i></div>
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I'll end with a lovely promise from God that sounds like a prayer to me:</div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“Trust me – I gave my life for you because you
are so precious to me. You trusted me at the beginning of your spiritual
journey; trust me now. Nothing is beyond my power. Trust me – I love you and I
love those you love more than you will ever understand. You always have been
and always will be my beloved. Trust me – I can carry you and yours. I long for
you to lean on me with the utter restfulness and assurance of a sleeping child.
Trust me – I am your shepherd and I will lead you in the right paths. I will
see to it that you lack nothing that is good for you to have. Trust me – even
when you can’t understand my dealings with you. Don’t give a moment’s thought
to turning back.” </i></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>~ Marion Stroud<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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Kerihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06599186443051980672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3399757744978134547.post-22846550075991186092016-01-25T10:41:00.000-08:002016-01-25T10:41:00.677-08:00Thanksgiving week 4 - “…overflowing with gratitude." ~ Colossians 2:7As you can obviously tell, this post has been a little delayed...okay, so it's almost 2 months late. I had good intentions about actually posting the last week of November, but part of what this post is about happened that week. My family was able to take a week long trip together and I ended up being almost completely electronics free that whole week. Then came the end of the fall semester, always a busy time for me at work...and then Christmas and all the holiday busyness. Additionally (and I honestly think mostly) I struggled with a feeling of being so overwhelmed with blessings and family love that it felt almost wrong to talk about it during a time of year when others might be struggling with feelings of loss from family that are no longer with them, or just family that lives far away and finances that don't allow enough visits. My empathetic nature just felt terrible about feeling so much joy when others might feel so much sorrow.<br />
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But I have to be the way that God made me...which means both full of empathy for others and also full of joy and blessed beyond expectations. And part of why I write this blog is to be honest about what I'm going through and so I have to do that. But, since I also believe that everything happens in God's timing, then I have to trust that this is the right time to post. Generally, the times I write here it often feels like something inside me just dying to get out. Sometimes I can't type fast enough to capture the thoughts. Sometimes the words come out so fast and I almost feel like I have no idea what I wrote and then when I read through it for grammar, spelling and formatting it often surprises me to see what's come out in my writing. This is why I'm always certain it is God who gives me the words...not me. <br />
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Anyways, this blog is about the final week of a month of Thanksgiving and it's about my family. I am so thankful for my family for so many reasons. I have an amazing husband who is my complete opposite which can cause us to argue over crazy things, but also helps to balance and support each other in our areas of strength and weakness. He loves me so much and is so incredibly supportive and encouraging and he always makes me laugh. I have wonderful parents who have been such a source of love, encouragement, support and have been such wonderful examples to me of what it means to love Jesus, love people and how to grow in faith. My sister is one of my best friends and though we are very different there is no doubt in my mind how much she loves, supports and blesses me. Through her marriage, I have a wonderful brother-in-law who is funny, kind, supportive and a huge blessing to our family, not to mention an amazing husband to my sister and a loving father to their children. My nieces and nephews bring so much joy and love and happiness to my life and it is such an blessing to be called TeeTee (their word for Aunty). My grandparents (Mom's parents) are such a blessing to our family and I'm so glad we have the opportunity to spend so much time with them. I have a wide assortment of aunts and uncles and cousins who make life so much more fun, full of love and encouragement. And I have friends who have become more like family and are so precious to me. I feel so blessed there doesn't seem to be enough words to express how much I am thankful for my family.<br />
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time because we know everything bad about each other and appreciate everything
good about each other and would rather be around together than with anyone
else."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>~ Ernest Hemingway<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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Long ago when my sister and I were in college, my parents were convinced that the summer of 1999 was to be our very last family vacation. My sister was unhappy to leave behind her boyfriend (now husband), but we packed up the car and drove all around the country for a few weeks. It was typical of our family vacations - travel by car and lots of visits with friends and family. It had ups and downs, but we were together and to our parents, they thought it might be for the last time. Life would make us all too busy to vacation together. <br />
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Fast forward many years and this has turned out to be far from the reality. My parents and sister's family own timeshares and usually vacation together twice a year for a week each in February and October. Last year, Josh & I were able to join them for a week in Las Vegas in February. We stayed at a nice Marriot resort that had no casino and was very family friendly. It was close to the main Strip - within walking distance - and had some fun activities at the resort including a painting class that Kelly & I participated in all three times it was offered! Mom & my niece joined us for the last session and we all had lots of fun. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8AocoGsx4Ps-MGpsasLLeYHoTC0Z2tdVK7SOMedZ4qit5Zr-xYo5sYsU8SCtABAlbpMjxpOcsub4Bi-Hgj6RHsSJyvQM-8Q77A5gvR-NnS5ZC1jltzrB8FfeNQUUwjhwLmEr99S0RZm23/s1600/61.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8AocoGsx4Ps-MGpsasLLeYHoTC0Z2tdVK7SOMedZ4qit5Zr-xYo5sYsU8SCtABAlbpMjxpOcsub4Bi-Hgj6RHsSJyvQM-8Q77A5gvR-NnS5ZC1jltzrB8FfeNQUUwjhwLmEr99S0RZm23/s320/61.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Left to right: Keri, Katelyn, Kelly & Mom<br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“Whatever you do they will love you; even if they don't love you they are connected to you till you die.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can be boring and tedious with [family], whereas you have to put on a good face with friends.” ~ Deborah Moggach</i></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span>We were able to eat at several wonderful locations, each couple got a date night with activities and food, and though we spent the week passing around a not-so-exciting cold we really enjoyed just being together even if it just meant lounging around the timeshare watching Food Network together. It was a wonderful vacation and ended up being the beginning of a year of family togetherness.<br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><span class="hascaption"><span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>"Joy comes to us in moments—ordinary
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I've spoken before about my favorite place in the world - Cayucos. A few years ago, our family had tried to spend the week of Christmas together there, but at the last minute my sister hurt her back and her family had to stay home. We had a good time with my parents, but it just wasn't the same. Since then we've wanted to make it there together and last year we were able to do so. My parent's rented a house in Cayucos for Mother's Day weekend and though unfortunately Josh wasn't able to get the time off, I was able to go with my parents, my sister and her family, and her mother-in-law. <br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><span class="hascaption"><span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p>We had the best time. The house was within walking distance of the beach and the kids loved playing in the water. We spent time in the town - eating yummy cookies at the Brown Butter Cookie Company, ice cream at the Candy Counter, delicious fish & chips at Duckie's, playing at the pier and walking the beach. We went to a farmer's market in nearby Morro Bay. And we just enjoyed the relaxed pace and lovely surroundings of this beautiful town. One of my favorite parts of the weekend was the opportunity to have long conversations. I rode up to Cayucos with my brother-in-law since we had to work part of Friday and I don't think we'd ever spent so much time together without the rest of the family. We talked about our work, books I'd been reading, church and faith, lots of good things. Over the weekend, we had several good talks with his Mom and my parents just sitting together in the living room. It was a wonderful experience and we all agreed that we must return. </o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Although filled with many happy and lovely memories, last year was also a difficult one for me. As I've shared in this blog, I've been on a journey of deepening my faith and growing and stretching and along with that comes stress at times. I felt very overwhelmed at times and just wanted to get away from my life. There was a lot of tears, a lot of feelings, and as I began to talk with my people about how I was feeling I was able to discover some things. One big thing was that as an introvert I need...literally NEED...time alone and I hadn't been getting enough of that. So I started making time for me - sometimes to just sit upstairs in our den and write in my journal, sometimes I'd go to a coffee shop and sit outside for an hour or two, sometimes Josh would work an evening shift or make plans out of the house so I could be by myself at home. All of this helped, but I just kept wishing for an opportunity to be away from my normal life and be taken care of instead of being the one to take care of others. However, this just seemed impossible and selfish and just wrong to even want. I really struggled with this, and around March or April my parents called with a gift.</span></div>
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They knew how I'd been feeling, as well as knowing how much I missed my Aunty Diana (Dad's younger sister) who I'm very close to, and my parents wanted to offer to pay for a ticket for me to travel to Colorado to spend a week with her. I didn't take it well at first. I cried...actually I sobbed...and I even got upset. Somehow I felt like this was too much to ask (though I didn't ask), it was too selfish (I know it wasn't), and I was being greedy or manipulative somehow (I wasn't). I was in a bad place...but God had prayers to answer that weren't even asked through the wonderful gift of my parent's gift. They bought the ticket, the trip was planned with Aunty, I apologized to my parents for freaking out and thanked them immensely and then all there was to do was wait until July. The week I was going to be in Colorado, Josh was able to spend a week visiting his Mom and brother and their family - we left on the same day and came home on the same day - and though we weren't together, we both really needed the time we were able to spend with our loved ones and it was a wonderful gift.</div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“As a relationship matures, you start to see that just being there for each other is the most important thing you can do, just being there to listen and be sorry with them, to be happy with them, to share all that there is to share.” ~ Mister Rogers<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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My time with my Aunty was an answer to prayers I wasn't even bold enough to ask or really even think through - God is so amazing that way! He knew how much I wanted/needed a rest and I got exactly that. My Aunty is so good at taking care of people, and she took such good care of me. She had a special room set up just for me, with room in the closet and even a drawer for my things. I could sleep when I wanted, I could rest when I wanted, she had bought special foods that I like and even made my sandwich for me the first day! :) She is so special to me and our relationship is a very close one and with her quiet and gentle love and support I felt so at peace and at rest that wonderful week. We got to talk a lot, we went to antique stores, we painted pottery at Color Me Mine, we cooked together, we sat together outside each evening with Uncle and the neighbors and just chatted as the day turned into evening. We looked at lots of old photos of my grandparents (they passed away when I was little) from before they were married, from when my Dad and his sisters were little, and from when I was little. So many wonderful memories. <br />
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My time with Aunty was so precious to me and it was after I got home and was telling Josh about my week that I truly realized what an answer to prayer that it was. God gave me exactly what I needed, even though I wasn't brave enough to ask for it. He knew how much I needed and craved rest and the feeling of being taken care of and through the financial gift of my parents and the loving nature of my Aunty I was able to see those unasked prayers answered and I will never forget that. </div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“You don't choose your family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They are God's gift to you, as you are to them.” ~ Desmond Tutu</i></span><br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i> </i></span><i><span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span>“Our memories of the ocean will linger on, long after our
footprints in the sand are gone.” ~ Anonymous</i></div>
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Because we had so much fun renting a house in Cayucos for Mother's Day weekend, we decided that being there even longer would be even better. And it definitely was!! My parents rented a house (a different one since the first one we stayed at was unavailable) for the week of Thanksgiving and this time Josh was able to join the rest of us along with my grandparents. The house was a little worn, but it had 4 bedrooms, lots of living and kitchen space and amazing views of the ocean. The week we spent there was primarily about relaxing and spending time together. My parents and grandparents love to play the card game Hand and Foot, so throughout the week they had a running game. Josh & I took our niece and nephew to walk on the beach at least once a day, and often twice. We read a lot of books, colored, made our meals together, and just enjoyed the calm, peaceful atmosphere of being together in such a beautiful place.<br />
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We did do a few activities throughout the week. On Monday, the "kids" (Josh, me, Kelly & David) spent the afternoon together driving through nearby Paso Robles and enjoying the beautiful views, a tasty picnic lunch and trying some delicious olive oils at Pasolivo. On Tuesday, the whole family took a two hour tour of the Piedras Blancas Lighthouse and it was wonderful and quite fascinating. The weather was overcast and lovely that day, and the rain stayed away until our mostly outdoor tour was completed. Because we were a large group of 10, we had our own tour guide and Carol was amazing. We all agreed it was a highlight of the week.<br />
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Wednesday we drove south to Pismo Beach for a delicious seafood lunch at our favorite place - The Cracked Crab. We found this gem a few years ago and now it's something Josh & I look forward to all year long. After lunch, we spent some time visiting David's Mom & Stepdad who live nearby and had had a great time catching up. Thanksgiving day was spent relaxing at the house and ended with an untraditional meal of grilled steaks, baked potatoes, sautéed mushrooms, salad & Red Lobster cheese biscuits. It was delicious and we were all stuffed. On Friday, the kids and grandkids went to visit Hearst Castle. We all took the Grand Rooms tour, and then just the girls took a second tour - this time for the kitchen and cottages. It was a beautiful day and we had a great time.<br />
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Spending a week together in one house was a really wonderful experience. Sharing space together made for lots of silly moments, lots of opportunities for conversations to linger and meander, and it was nice to share so many meals together. I'm so incredibly grateful to have a family who enjoys spending time together and who want to spend more time together. Of course we have disagreements and annoyances at times (we aren't perfect), but we genuinely love each other and are happy for every opportunity we have to be together. And the fact that we get so much time isn't lost on us - I think we all realize how blessed we are to live close and have the ability to be so involved in each other's lives. </div>
<br />
<br />
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<i>“I have no doubt, however, that
when it comes to our sense of love, belonging, and worthiness, we are most
radically shaped by our families of origin – what we hear, what we are told,
and perhaps most importantly, how we observe our parents engaging with the
world.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span class="hascaption"><span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"> </span></span></i><br />
<i><span class="hascaption"><span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">~ Brené Brown</span></span></i><span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
My family is so important to me and part of the reason this is true is because of the way that my parents raised me. They have always made God the focus of all parts of life - our birthdays are important because that is the day God chose for you to be born, family & friends are gifts from God and maintaining relationships may take time and effort but it's worth it, pray about everything, be generous with the things God gives us because it's all His anyways, spend time reading God's Word every day, people and not things are what is important. All these things and so much more is a part of the gift my parents have given me in their legacy. They truly love people and they deeply love God and that is something that everyone who meets them can recognize. Because of their example, I have never felt unloved, I've always had a sense of belonging and I've known that my worth comes from God and not anything or anyone else. I realize that not everyone has grown up this way and it makes me feel both sad and hurt for those who haven't...and incredibly blessed and overflowing with gratitude that I have always felt such love. Their love for me, for our family, for our friends and most importantly for God has always helped me to feel secure and blessed beyond measure.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>“I thank my God always concerning
you, for the grace of God which was given you in Christ Jesus,” ~ 1 Corinthians
1:4</i></div>
<br />
<br />
I'm so thankful for my family. For the ways they love me. For the many opportunities we have to spend time together. For the lessons I've learned from them about the importance of community, fellowship and communication. For their focus on how much God loves me...loves all of us...and how important it is to share that love with others. I truly feel overwhelmed and overflowing with gratitude and love for my family. It is a beautiful gift from God and I am so grateful.<br />
<br />
<br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>"I bless GOD every chance I get; my lungs expand with His praise.
I live and breathe GOD; if things aren't going well, hear this and<span class="textexposedshow"> be happy!" ~ Psalm 34:1& 2<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<i>Dear heavenly Father, thank You for the wonderful gift of family and my family in particular. Thank You for all the amazing blessings You've brought about in my life and for giving me the ability and opportunity to share them with others. Please be with those people who have lost family members, or aren't able to spend as much time with them as they want to. Give them Your peace and Your comfort. I don't know why I have so much, but please help me to always be grateful and appreciative of the many blessings. Thank You for loving us...we love you too. Amen.</i></div>
<br />
<br />Kerihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06599186443051980672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3399757744978134547.post-52837500074969892202015-11-19T18:02:00.001-08:002015-11-19T18:02:38.623-08:00Thanksgiving week 3 - "Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good..." ~ Psalm 106:1<!--[if !mso]>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">This week I'm being thankful for
books. I really love reading. I love books. I work in a library and love being
surrounded by books every day. I love having access to books at all times. I
love visiting other libraries and bookstores. I love seeing my favorite books
on my shelves at home. I love hearing about new books and adding them to my
to-read list. I love keeping track of the books I read on my GoodReads list.
Books inspire me, teach me, comfort me, humor me. They touch my heart and
expand my horizons. They offer me the opportunity to experience things and
places I may never get to visit or see on my own. Can you tell how much I love
books? :)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> One of my favorite reading
tools is the website <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/"><span style="color: blue;">GoodReads</span></a>. Through this website, I can keep track
of the books I want to read, the books I'm currently reading and the books I
have read. I can rate them on a scale of 1-5 stars, I can write a review, I can
save quotes I like...so many wonderful things. I am also able to read the
reviews of other people (including friends/family who have accounts on
Goodreads), see lists of suggested books based on any number of subjects or
themes, and they also offer giveaways of books which you can sign up to
possibly win - and I've been happy to win three times! It's a really wonderful
and valuable tool that involves my love of reading along with my love of
keeping lists. Additionally each year, I can look at my stats through the
website and see how many books I read that year along with seeing how I rated
them and the longest book I read.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In thinking about being thankful for
books, I was looking over my Goodreads stats for the year and wanted to pick
out a few of my favorite books of the year and share them here. These books are
from a variety of genres, both fiction and non-fiction, and include two books
which I won through the giveaways. </span></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">What
Comes Next and How to Like It</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
by Abigail Thomas</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">This was the second book I won through
the Goodreads giveaway. I had never read anything by this author, but heard
about in a People magazine book review and had added it to my to-read list.
When I received the book in the mail I decided fairly quickly to start reading
it and quickly fell in love with her writing. The book is a collection of brief
essays, though really more like stories or memories. There is a bit of a
running theme, but mostly they are like stream of consciousness memory, quickly
moving from one thought to another, one story to another, one memory to
another. This quote sums up a lot of what that book was like:</span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“But
life doesn’t arrange itself conveniently into chapters, not mine anyway. You
can’t just slice it neatly into segments. And I didn’t want to write a novel. My
life didn’t feel like a novel. It felt like a million moments. I didn’t want to
make anything fit together. I didn’t want to make anything up. I didn’t want it
to make sense the way I understand a novel to make a kind of sense. I didn’t
want anywhere to hide. I didn’t want to be able to duck. I wanted the shock of
truth. I wanted moments that felt like body blows. I wanted moments of pure
hilarity, connected to nothing that came before or after. I wanted it to feel
like the way I’ve lived my life. And I wanted to tell the truth. My truth
doesn’t travel in a straight line, it zigzags, detours, doubles back. Most
truths I have to learn over and over again.” ~ Abigail Thomas</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The book was wonderful and I
immediately wanted to share it and so I lent it to my coworker who also loved
it and upon her return of the book included this note - <i>"Keri - Thank
you, thank you, thank you! I want to be like Abigail when I grow up." </i>We
were both hooked and I quickly found copies of all her writings, both fiction
and non-fiction and we read through all of them. None had quite the same punch
as the first book (her latest book) for us, but they were all good and I am so
thankful to have been exposed to this wonderful writer whose writing really
touched me.</span></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The
Swan Thieves</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> by Elizabeth Kostova</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“...what
will we someday do, I always wonder, without the pleasures of turning through
books and stumbling on things we never meant to find?” ~ Elizabeth Kostova</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I already knew that I loved this
author because I absolutely loved her first book <i>The Historian</i>. However,
I borrowed this book from a coworker and it sat on my shelf for months! Every
time I looked at it I never felt in the mood to read and it just seemed like it
wouldn't be interesting. Finally I was home and needed something to read and
grabbed it...it captured my interest instantly and I was so hooked!!! Many
reviewers on Goodreads hated this book, in fact it seems to be one of those
that you either love completely or hate completely and don't feel just so-so
about it. But I loved it and while I really wanted to figure out the mystery
and get to the end of the book, I also never wanted to book to end ever. It was
just so readable and enjoyable and wonderful. It's books like this one that
help make me love reading so much and I am so grateful. </span></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Bread
& Wine:</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></b><b><i><span style="font-family: ""serif"","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">a love letter to life
around the table with recipes</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: ""serif"","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> by Shauna Niequist</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig3xuytci0J_NB0iWGzH9G9c7-9FTLEXezqTjss9qAcKXT6Lw8rPiGi34mY28CqxYpsTorOiMKKadbr7nhEKlMIcGSTD4LtMI57D-OJBCskGFdo3cpMim8-WsW9_pZcktH1SXEQlr4nWvX/s1600/Niequist+quote.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig3xuytci0J_NB0iWGzH9G9c7-9FTLEXezqTjss9qAcKXT6Lw8rPiGi34mY28CqxYpsTorOiMKKadbr7nhEKlMIcGSTD4LtMI57D-OJBCskGFdo3cpMim8-WsW9_pZcktH1SXEQlr4nWvX/s320/Niequist+quote.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: ""serif"","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I
absolutely loved this book so much! I borrowed it first from the library, but
fell in love with it and knew I needed to own it so quickly purchased my own
copy. I really appreciate this author and her love for food, faith, community
and hospitality. So much of what she writes about really resonates with me and
feels like she is speaking my thoughts and feelings exactly. This book made me
laugh, it made me cry and it made me want to cook and invite people into my
home and it made me realize that loving food and hospitality are both things
that can be part of who God made me to be as well as ways of sharing His love
with others. She has become one of my very favorite authors (as I shared in my
first Thanksgiving post) and I am always trying to encourage others to read her
books - in fact, I've even purchased copies for some of my friends because I
knew they would be encouraged and blessed by them. I am so thankful for this
book and this author.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-family: ""serif"","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Daring Greatly: how the courage to be
vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent, and lead</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: ""serif"","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> by Brené Brown</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 106%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Because true belonging only happens
when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of
belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.” ~ Brené
Brown</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 106%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 106%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">I have been so encouraged and inspired by the writing of Brené
Brown and this book was one of my all-time favorites this year. I ended up with
15 pages of typed notes and seem to constantly find things in my life that
reference or reflect what I've learned from her studies and writing. This book
helped me to see how important it is to be vulnerable and real with the people
in our lives and how shame and fear can keep us away from the things we really
want. This is the type of book that lingers in your mind, that keeps sneaking
up on you in the strangest and newest ways</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 106%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">...</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 106%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">the type of book that you carry along with you forever on the
journey of life. It's definitely one I will want to read again and probably be
struck with new insights and lessons as I grow and change hopefully. I highly
recommend this book, in fact I lent my copy to my Dad to hopefully he will
enjoy it as well.</span></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 106%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">Furiously
Happy: a Funny Book about Horrible Things</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 106%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;"> by Jenny Lawson</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 106%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I was happy to win a GoodReads giveaway of this book. I
didn't really know a lot about the author (although I had previously read her
blog post about Beyoncé the 5-foot metal chicken - LOL) or this book, but I
am a HUGE fan now. This book made me laugh out loud, snort, stop breathing
from laughing so hard and so much more. This book made me think about things
that I'd never really thought about. This book gave me more empathy and
understanding for the wild things your brain can make you think when
suffering from all types of mental illness - depression, anxiety, etc. I may
not have the same struggles, but we all have things we deal with and if we
can be more kind, more loving, and more sympathetic to others...then that is
a good thing. I'm so happy to have won this book and look forward to sharing
it with others and reading it again.<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
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<b><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A
Theory of Light & Matter</span></i></b><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
by Andrew Porter</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">This collection of short stories
is exactly what short stories are meant to be. I don't know exactly what it
is or how one does it, but they capture your interest immediately and draw
you so deeply that although the stories are short they feel far longer and
remain with you longer. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 106%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">Usually the way I decide what to read each year
is very open to suggestion. I might hear about a book that sounds interesting,
or I might see a book that was returned to the library where I work and decide
to read it. Sometimes I borrow books from friends. Sometimes I'm lucky enough
to buy some new books and browse the bookshelves for new and exciting options.
Sometimes I'll look at my very long to-read list on Goodreads and pick
something. Often a book I read, especially non-fiction, will reference other
books and I'm inspired to seek those books out to read. This year, in addition
to these various ways of choosing what to read I decided to do a reading
challenge that my husband saw on Facebook early in the year. It was a list of
50 categories and they were fairly unique and it looked like a good way to
challenge myself and my reading. Currently, I have one book left to read.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFfvYKSktoJEGwN3Z6XxJb5Uy-AXqt3FmnUvIzS2KrS2fj8eTMqVFjZPR5w36V4NO5mR62Fx19-ALSBiyajBLs5ylI3NMxFPDuBJk1l7EFvoFh08FGfJirDVSBtxgG6Xq8KU2ODLutptCo/s1600/reading+challenge+2015.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFfvYKSktoJEGwN3Z6XxJb5Uy-AXqt3FmnUvIzS2KrS2fj8eTMqVFjZPR5w36V4NO5mR62Fx19-ALSBiyajBLs5ylI3NMxFPDuBJk1l7EFvoFh08FGfJirDVSBtxgG6Xq8KU2ODLutptCo/s640/reading+challenge+2015.jpg" width="448" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 106%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">I really enjoyed the challenge of this as well
as the opportunity to read books which I had always kind of wanted to read, but
never seemed to make time for or was ever in the mood to actually read. Books
like <i>Ethan Frome</i> by Edith Wharton, <i>The Little Prince</i> by Antoine
de Saint-Exupery, and <i>After the Fall</i> by Arthur Miller. Some books were
exciting new finds like <i>Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children</i> by
Ransom Riggs, <i>Gathering Blue</i> by Lois Lowry (along with the rest of <i>The
Giver</i> quartet), <i>The House of the Scorpion</i> by Nancy Farmer, <i>The
Green Glass Sea</i> by Ellen Klages, and <i>The Kingdom of Little Wounds</i> by
Susann Cokal. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 106%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">Although I would have never chosen to read <i>Savannah</i> by
Eugenia Price, I did enjoy reading the book my Mom loves and my favorite part
about it was the natural way the author talked about God and the characters
relationship with God and dependence on God. It was not an overtly Christian
book, yet God and faith were always presented very matter-of-factly and as a necessary
part of life which is a lot how my Mom is and there is one part will stick with me. Upon
discovering some bad news that had no easy or immediate answers, the main
characters Robert and Eliza Mackay decided to simply pray "God, you know
the situation and you know how to handle it. Do what you will and show us what
we need to do, if anything. Amen" (something like this). I loved that and
will think of it often. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 106%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">Although it's not the usual way I decide what
to read, I'm really glad that I took part in this challenge and enjoyed the
opportunity to try some new books and expand my book comfort zones. I
ultimately enjoyed just about everything I read and it definitely brought me to
some new favorite authors as well as the opportunity to re-read some old
favorites. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 106%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
</span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 106%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">“Reading
is an act of contemplation, perhaps the only act in which we allow ourselves to
merge with the consciousness of another human being. We possess the books we
read, animating the waiting stillness of their language, but they possess us
also, filling us with thoughts and observations, asking us to make them part of
ourselves.” ~ David L. Ulin</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 106%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 106%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">“Grow in
the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” ~ 2 Peter 3:18</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 106%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;"></span></div>
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<br />
Though not all the books I read are about God, they all teach me things and
help me along this journey we call life. And everything we are exposed to
allows us the opportunity to grow and learn and sometimes even things that
aren't about faith can help to deepen or expand our faith. I'm thankful for
books and all the ways they make my life better. <br />
<br />
<i>Dear heavenly Father, thank You for books, for the opportunity to read and
learn, and for the ways books can open us up to new experiences and feelings
and thoughts. Thank You for parents who instilled a deep love of reading and
modeled it often for me and my sister. Thank You for my kindergarten teacher
Mrs. Overholt who taught me to read. Thank You for the teachers and librarians
who helped encourage me to read and try new books and ideas. Thank You for my
job in a library where I can be surrounded by books all day long. Thank You for
friends and family who love reading and share new books with me and can get
just as excited about the things we learn and read. Thank You for Your Word
which is the best reading of all and thank You for helping me to finally make
my way through the Bible. Help me to never lose interest in what You have to
say. Thank You for loving us, we love you too. Amen.</i></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
Kerihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06599186443051980672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3399757744978134547.post-83160305129064030182015-11-10T17:47:00.000-08:002015-11-10T17:47:14.931-08:00Thanksgiving week 2 - “I’m thanking you, God, from a full heart…” ~ Psalm 9:1a<br />
This week I'm thanking God for some of my favorite things. Some serious and some silly perhaps, but all are things that make me feel blessed, loved and happy to be alive. This list won't include everything I love and enjoy (that would take far too long!), but it's a taste of what makes me, me and what makes my heart feel full in the best possible ways. <br />
<br />
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<b><u>Recipes</u></b></div>
<br />
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<i>“Cooking is not to rush. It’s a
prayer. A gift of love. It’s family. It’s standing in the company of your
ancestors and feeling their hands, helping you.” ~ Stephanie Kallos<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<br />
<br />
I love cooking. I love trying new recipes. I love inviting friends and family into my home and making something yummy for them. I love when I find a recipe that someone loves. I have one friend who always wants me to make Asian Chicken Salad with Peanut Dressing and Pickled Cucumbers - I've made it for her 5 times in the past two years. :) Our beloveds have deemed my homemade tortilla soup their very favorite, and though I usually change up my soup recipes each time I make them, I had to write down exactly what I did so that it will always be the same. My favorite meal for my aunt to make is her Green Chili Smothered Burritos and I often make it at home and think of her. My mom always wants homemade wonton and lumpia for her birthday each year and my dad's favorite recipe is his mom's Soya Chicken. Food involves memory, community and connection. It can make us happy and it can make us feel loved and appreciated. Here are some of my favorites from this year: <a href="http://www.asweetpeachef.com/soup/french-onion-soup/" target="_blank">French Onion soup</a>, <a href="http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/heavenly-hummus-wrap" target="_blank">Heavenly Hummus Wraps</a>, <a href="http://www.kitchenkonfidence.com/2015/09/omg-garlic-bread-recipe" target="_blank">OMG Garlic Bread</a>, <a href="http://www.halfbakedharvest.com/cheesy-black-bean-quinoa-taco-bake/" target="_blank">Quinoa Taco Bake</a> and <a href="http://cookingatsabrinas.com/2015/02/04/salted-chocolate-chunk-peanut-butter-cookies" target="_blank">Salted Chocolate Peanut Butter Cookies</a>. <br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u>My job & coworkers</u></b></div>
<br />
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<i>“Make sure you don’t take things for granted and go slack in
working for the common good; share what you have with others. God takes
particular pleasure in acts of worship – a different kind of ‘sacrifice’ – that
take place in kitchen and workplace and on the streets.” </i><br />
<i>~ Hebrews 13:16<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<br />
<br />
I absolutely love my job and I have the best coworkers. I love what I do and I feel like I am daily doing something of meaning and making connections with people that are important. I feel confident and content in my place and know that this is the perfect job for me. I'm in my 15th year and I can honestly say that each year I love my job more. In the past few years I've really deepened my connections with my coworkers to the point that many of them are also dear friends who I look forward to spending time with outside of work. I enjoy the conversations about our jobs, about our families, about our lives. With one coworker, I enjoy talking about watching the TV shows the <i>Bachelor</i> and <i>Bachelorette</i>. With another, we talk about movies and books and pretty much anything and everything. One coworker always makes sure we have snacks and meals available and does so much for everyone. We all work together well and get along with each other well and it makes life at work such a blessing and joy and I'm so grateful!<br />
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<b><u>Painting</u></b></div>
<br />
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<i>“Silently one by one, in the infinite meadows of heaven,
Blossomed the lovely stars, the forget-me-nots of the angels.” ~ Longfellow<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQJno1pdFOm7OhyQu2hIqOyuRZT_9DcLPodkn989sIyEmfWaOmvqSdsl2eInBCfREFWuS_3PFqHzLUccjWWvpThqdbmxaD1kkWiRaSbc1tWP7_XmVrVMR3eN-QhspvQS_-s-ku3SHSOECL/s1600/cayucos+painting.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQJno1pdFOm7OhyQu2hIqOyuRZT_9DcLPodkn989sIyEmfWaOmvqSdsl2eInBCfREFWuS_3PFqHzLUccjWWvpThqdbmxaD1kkWiRaSbc1tWP7_XmVrVMR3eN-QhspvQS_-s-ku3SHSOECL/s320/cayucos+painting.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
I love painting and have definitely made more of an effort this year to spend time doing art. This painting was inspired by an evening spent swinging next to the ocean under a sky full of stars. It was a lovely moment that I will cherish forever, and enjoy the ability to have captured it in paint and can look at it every day. In February, I was on vacation with my family and the timeshare we stayed at offered painting classes and my sister and I took all three that were offered in the week we spent there. It was so fun to do something creative together, and now those paintings are a reminder of fun time spent with my sister. This year I've given paintings to several of my friends and family as gifts, and it's been special to be able to think of something they will love and then create it on canvas. I love the opportunity to give something personal and creative...something of myself to them. I'm thankful for the abilities God has given me to paint, as well as being thankful for the art teachers who have taught me so much and encouraged my talents. <br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<u><b>Blogs</b></u></div>
<br />
<br />
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<i>“So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both
happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.” </i><br />
<i>~ Stephen
Chbosky<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<br />
<br />
I am thankful for blogs. For the fact that they exist. For the many people who write them. For their willingness to be honest and real and vulnerable. For the connection that I feel when I read someone else's words which seem to connect straight to my heart. For the sense of community that can arise when I see so many people struggling with and writing about the same type of issues. For the "me too" moments. For the humor, the illustrations, the stories, the advice, all of it is so meaningful. For the opportunity to write my own blog and share my stories with others and hear their moments of connection and encouragement. This year I've been particularly encouraged by three amazing blogs. The first is <a href="http://micahjmurray.com/confessions-of-a-reluctant-christian/" target="_blank">Micah J. Murray</a> - I am so blessed by his raw and open stories. He struggles, he fails, he learns and grows, and all along he's really real and I find his blog refreshing and sometimes shockingly honest. But I love it and I'm thankful for his willingness to share. Through his blog, I found <a href="http://ambersalhus.com/on-choosing-to-making-room/" target="_blank">Amber Salhus</a> - I love her humor, her vulnerability and our shared love of TV. Her writing helped to bring me back to writing this blog and I have been so encouraged and convicted by her posts. Additionally, I've felt like I've made a friendship connection of sorts - like a pen pal and it's been a blessing to communicate with her through comments and Facebook. The other blog I've been so encouraged by is called <a href="http://bravegirlsclub.com/daily-truths" target="_blank">Brave Girls Club</a> and I so deeply love it. One of my absolute favorite things is their daily truth emails called A little bird told me - these come daily Monday through Friday and include an encouraging and inspiring message along with a beautiful photo. The words may be simple but there is so much truth and love and encouragement and I just love them. I'm so thankful for the women who started this blog and spend so much time and effort writing beautiful words and creating beautiful art and making such a difference in so many lives. <br />
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<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u>Date Nights with Josh</u></b></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<i>“Come, let's be a comfortable couple and take care of each
other!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How glad we shall be, that we
have somebody we are fond of always, to talk to and sit with.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>~ Charles Dickens<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<br />
<br />
I'm so thankful for have a husband who I enjoy spending time with, who loves me more than I deserve and who is always there for me. We love our pajama days when we stay home and read books or watch TV/movies and stay in our pjs all day. We love traveling together and trying new restaurants. We love sitting and talking about our days and the things we're learning and discovering. We enjoy cooking together and having friends and family over to enjoy meals with us. Our date nights are also fun because they can range from grocery shopping together preceded by dinner at Rubio's or Five Guys, to fancy dinners at our old favorite French place Les Rendez-Vous, and one of our all time favorites is dinner at Joe's Crab Shack followed by dessert from Krispy Kreme. Yum! Mostly we just enjoy spending time together and that is one of my favorite things about us...and I'm so thankful for the blessing of my hubby! xo<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<u><b>TV Shows</b></u></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<i>“Each time you happen to me all over again.” ~ Edith Wharton<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<br />
<br />
I really love TV, especially well-written dramas with amazing characters and dramatic twists and turns as well as laugh-out-loud comedies with running jokes and lots of humor. Josh & I have very different tastes in a lot of things, and TV is no exception. But we do have some shows we watch together and Netflix has been one our very best investments. Some of our favorite shows to watch together are <i>The West Wing, 3rd Rock from the Sun, Survivor, The Big Bang Theory, Agents of Shield, The Black List</i> and currently we're obsessed with <a href="http://ambersalhus.com/can-we-please-talk-about-scandal/" target="_blank"><i>Scandal</i></a>. I love my shows and especially the ones I've watched for years I get very attached to the characters and care deeply about them. Many times I am drawn to the darker ones who can be a bit prickly and lash out but over the course of time you see them begin to trust and feel loved and blossom - characters like Alex Karev on <i>Grey's Anatomy</i> or Huck on <i>Scandal</i>. I love shows like <i>Modern Family, The Goldberg's, Arrested Development, The Mindy Project</i> and <i>New Girl</i> because they frequently make me laugh out loud so much that I often have to pause the show in order to breathe again. I also love shows like <i>The Good Wife, Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, Once & Again</i> and <i>Mad Men</i> because of their continuing storylines, deep and well-written characters and the emotional connection I feel to the stories being told. I also admittedly love reality shows like <i>The Bachelor/Bachelorette, Masterchef, Worst Cooks in America</i> and especially <i>Survivor</i> - even though it's been on for so many years featuring the same basic plot, every season is different because of the people involved - their past/present, their insecurities, their passions, their ability to relate to others, their ability to deal with the crazy elements - it all adds up to one of my all-time favorite shows and I never get tired of it. I'm so thankful for the variety of TV and the many ways I'm able to watch and enjoy it. <br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<u><b>Friendship</b></u></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<i>“I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not
for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let’s face
it, friends make life a lot more fun.” ~ Charles R. Swindoll<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<br />
<br />
It would be impossible to say all the things I love and am thankful for about friendship. My friends have had such a profound and important place in my life and I really would not be who I am without their presence and impact. I feel surrounded by people who love me and really get me. People who encourage me, love me deeply, listen to me, speak truth to me, make me laugh, are willing to cry with me (or often watch me cry). These friends come from a variety of backgrounds and have come into my life through mission trips, school, church, work, and even the internet. Each of them provides something special and wonderful in my life - they are unique and gifted and incredibly special to me. I am thankful for their prayers, their words, their tears and laughter, their inspiration, their love and support. They have helped to teach me how much God loves each of us, about how important it is to be vulnerable, about how I can trust them and they can trust me and I would not be the same with each and every one of them...and they know who they are. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u>Starbucks</u></b></div>
<br />
I hate controversy and generally avoid sharing my opinions about anything controversial, but I think this thing about Starbucks red cups is so dumb. I love Starbucks and all I expect from them is that they provide a consistent delicious coffee or tea beverage when I order it. I love my vanilla latte and I love my iced caramel macchiato upside down and I love the holiday treats of peppermint mochas and brulee lattes. My ability to celebrate Christmas is not affected in any way by the cup my coffee comes in. My faith has not been hurt because Starbucks decided not to put any designs on their holiday red cups. I don't need to boycott their business or force them to write Merry Christmas instead of my name. These voices speaking out against Starbucks are not making people want to come to Christ, they are forcing people away or just reinforcing what others think Christians are all about. If you don't want to buy Starbucks, do it because it's expensive or you don't like the taste or you'd rather support small businesses...but don't make it about something that has absolutely nothing to do with it. I'm thankful for Starbucks because I like their coffee and who cares what the cups look like?<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u>Cayucos</u></b></div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<i>“The sea, once it casts its spell,
holds one in its net of wonder forever.” </i><br />
<i>~ Jacques Cousteau<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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Oh, my most favorite place in the world is Cayucos! I love the small town, the scent of the ocean, the sound of the waves crashing, the bright reflection of the sun on the water so it looks like diamonds, the yellow green hills surrounding the town with solitary trees that seem peaceful and also melancholy. It is a place of peace and comfort and rest and I love it so much. I first visited the summer of 1996 at the end of my mission trip and we spent 4 days there debriefing from our 8 week summer mission (as a student). I visited again the summer of 1998 after a 10 week mission trip (this time as nanny to the team leaders 3 children). About seven or eight years ago, Josh & I started visiting for our anniversary and he loves it so much too. My family has also developed a love for this small wonderful town after we spent Mother's Day weekend there and now look forward to being there for a week soon. This place is so very special to me and I am so incredibly thankful to be able to visit and love it like I do - it reminds me of God's amazing vastness, His creativity in creation, and His desire for us to rest. I love this place and am so excited and blessed to be able to be there again soon. Thank you God!</div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><i>“Let
them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds...” ~ Psalm 107:8</i></span></div>
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<i>Dear heavenly Father, thank You for all the many ways You show Your love for me. Thank You for the many wonderful things in this world to love and enjoy and be thankful for. I hope I never lose the ability to thank You and praise You for the things I love and appreciate and enjoy. Thank You for loving me so much, I love you too. Amen.</i>Kerihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06599186443051980672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3399757744978134547.post-70517297281700605012015-11-04T17:07:00.001-08:002015-11-04T17:07:13.104-08:00Thanksgiving week 1 - “…willing to live in the risky faith-embrace of God’s action for them.” ~ Romans 4:12I have always loved reading. As far back as I can remember books have always been a favorite of mine. My parents read to us frequently and have always modeled the importance of reading by making time to do so themselves - both their Bible as well as other books. As a child, my Dad would take my sister and I to the public library just about every two weeks and we would always check out the maximum number of books and start reading as soon as we got home. As an adult, I always have at least two or more books that I'm in the middle of at any one time. I love to buy books, borrow books from the library or friends and often recommend or loan books to my friends. I love books and reading so much!<br />
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In the past I stuck mostly to fiction, but in recent years I have really embraced non-fiction, especially books for research purposes. For me, the subjects I tend to be researching have covered many topics relating to theology, grace, faith, the church, courage, vulnerability, hospitality, encouragement, etc. I am also drawn to books about travel, cooking and food, memoirs and books about someone doing a year of something. Often times I refer to these books as "thinking" books and read them a bit slower, and always with a notepad and pen nearby to take notes. This is usually because I read so many books from the library and can't highlight or write in them (though I even find that hard to do in my own personal books). After finishing the book, I type up my notes and save it. These quotes help me to remember what I've read, or specifically what meant something to me...and they also serve as a place to obtain quotes to use for this blog or in cards to friends and family. A friend of mine also refers to these typed documents as Keri's Notes (like CliffNotes ;) and often asks me to pass them along to her. <br />
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Over the years, I've felt influenced and encouraged by a few specific authors whose writing really touched me. In reading through their bodies of work, these authors have become like spiritual mentors to me and are such a blessing. All of them are people of faith and I feel like their writing lives out the verse in my post title - <i>“…willing to live in the risky faith-embrace of God’s action
for them.” ~ Romans 4:12</i> - which then encourages me to do the same.<br />
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<b><u>Robin Jones Gunn</u></b></div>
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<i>“[A God-thing is] when something happens in your life, and
you look at it and can't explain how or why it happened, but you know there's a
reason for it. You know that God is doing something in your life, and it
changes you. There's no other way to explain it except to see it as a God
thing.” </i></div>
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<i>~ Robin Jones Gunn<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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I know I've mentioned her before many times, but it's impossible to think about what I believe about God without referencing the fact that so much of it is as a result of her writing. I read her books as a teenager first and their impact is so important to what I believe about God and how much He loves us and lives and moves in our lives. Her way of writing about faith is so natural and her stories are so relatable, and I have been so encouraged and supported in my relationship with God thanks to her characters Christy, Todd, Doug, Tracy, Katie and others. <br />
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<i>“So, if I love God, and I mean really love God with abandon,
then I must come to love myself, my life. I need to love my story at the heart
level. That’s what I believe life is for all of us. A story being written by
God. He is the Author and Finisher of our faith. When I start to love my story,
with all its messed up twists and turns, then I can love other people who are
living out their own stories with all their messed up twists and turns…if I’m
going to go around saying I love God, then I have to trust him and believe that
everything in my life first passed through his fingers. Nothing happens outside
of his control. He alone will bring all things to justice one day. All I’m
supposed to do is love my own story so that I can love that guy’s story too.” ~ Robin Jones Gunn<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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Every time I read one of her stories, I find myself and my current journey in the pages. I've made it a practice to reread through her series every other year and each time I find new nuggets of truth and new ways that the words she wrote, sometimes many years ago, seem to speak directly to me in exactly the moment I'm reading them. This is all due to the timeless nature of God, and the gift of storytelling that He has so obviously gifted her with and that she has used so wonderfully for His glory. My faith has been nurtured and strengthened by her writing and I am so grateful.<br />
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<b><u>Anne Lamott</u></b></div>
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<i>“God can handle honesty, and prayer begins an honest
conversation. My belief is that when you’re telling the truth, you’re close to
God. If you say to God, ‘I am exhausted and depressed beyond words, and I don’t
like You at all right now, and I recoil from most people who believe in You,’
that might be the most honest thing you’ve ever said. If you told me you had
said to God, ‘It is all hopeless, and I don’t have a clue if You exist, but I
could use a hand,’ it would almost bring tears to my eyes, tears of pride in
you, for the courage it takes to get real – really real. It would make me want
to sit next to you at the dinner table.” ~ Anne Lamott<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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When I discovered Anne Lamott's writing, it was like a shock because here was a Christian writer but she didn't sound like all the other ones I'd heard or read before. She was really honest and forthright and it was shocking, but so moving and so meaningful. Whether it's courage or just an inability to be anything but herself, I fell hard for her writing and couldn't get enough. I read all of her non-fiction books about faith and grace and life and love. Then I read all her fiction about real, honest, normal people. I loved it all, loved her. Her honesty shocks you at first, but then lingers in your mind and heart because it's so true and real and you feel that "me too" moment - it's incredible and it makes me want to sit next to her at the dinner table.<br />
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<i>“Writing and reading decrease our sense of isolation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They deepen and widen and expand our sense of
life: they feed the soul.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When writers
make us shake our heads with the exactness of their prose and their truths, and
even make us laugh about ourselves or life, our buoyancy is restored.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are given a shot at dancing with, or at
least clapping along with, the absurdity of life, instead of being squashed by
it over and over again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's like
singing on a boat during a terrible storm at sea.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can't stop the raging storm, but singing
can change the hearts and spirits of the people who are together on that ship.” ~ Anne Lamott</i></div>
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When she writes about her thighs and butt as the wise old <a href="http://www.awdsgn.com/classes/spr08/web_pub_one/student/neal/pages/final/lamott.html" target="_blank">Aunties</a>, or about her 6-year old grandson crying out in the dark, or the three prayers (<i>Help, Thanks, Wow</i> - great book, you should read it!), you feel the connection that her honesty brings - when we're real and vulnerable it allows connection and community and this is a beautiful thing. I'm always so thankful to read her posts and her books because they remind me how important it is to be honest and just be ourselves - good, bad and everything else - let ourselves be seen and known. My faith has been broadened and strengthened by her writing and I am so thankful.</div>
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<b><u>Mister Rogers</u></b></div>
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<i>“You are a very special person. There is only one like you
in the whole world. There’s never been anyone exactly like you before, and
there never will be again. Only you. And people can like you exactly as you
are.” </i></div>
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<i>~ Mister Rogers<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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I feel like I have always loved Mister Rogers. As a child, I loved watching his show and as an adult I think I love it even more. My favorite part was whenever they would go to the Neighborhood of Make Believe - I loved the trolley and the people there and the belief in the importance of imagination. The slow pace of the show and the repetitive nature of the beginning and ending of every episode was so soothing and peaceful and I just loved it. As an adult, most of the quotes I used in my cards of encouragement were always from Mister Rogers. I have three books of his quotes and I love them. They are so kind, so encouraging, so affirming and full of love and concern. </div>
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<i>“It always helps to have people we love beside us when we
have to do difficult things in life.” ~ Mister Rogers<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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Several years ago, I read a book about his correspondence relationship with the author Tim Madigan called <i>I'm Proud of You</i>. The title comes from the way Mister Rogers would end each letter, often simply using the initials IPOY. This book helped to deepen my understanding of the kind of man Fred Rogers was and the ways friendship and encouragement were so important to him. He was a man who deeply loved God, loved people - especially children, and desired to share that love and concern with as many people as possible. My faith has been affirmed and strengthened by his writing and I am so grateful. <br />
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<b><u>Henri Nouwen</u></b></div>
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<i>“I do not think of myself as your teacher. I think of myself
as a friend who has made a very long journey and has learned something so
important that he does not want to keep it to himself.” ~ Henri Nouwen</i></div>
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Through the book <i>I'm Proud of You</i>, I learned about Mister Rogers' relationship with the Catholic priest Henri Nouwen and this in turn led to me reading through most of Nouwen's writings. In him, I felt such a connection and sense of kinship, and he has truly become a spiritual mentor to me. I may not have the opportunity to meet or speak with him, but through his writings I feel like I've found someone else who has been through so many of my own struggles and through his honesty I no longer feel alone. He feels like a friend who has taught me so much about discernment, God's love, feeling broken and wounded, and setting boundaries. </div>
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<i>“Real freedom to live in this world comes from hearing
clearly the truth about who we are, which is that we are the beloved. That’s
what prayer is about. And that’s why it is so crucial and not just a nice thing
to do once in a while. It is the essential attitude that creates in us the
freedom to love other people not because they are going to love us back but
because we are so loved and out of the abundance of that love we want to give.
This is where ministry starts, because our freedom is anchored in claiming our
belovedness. Being the beloved allows us to go into this world and touch
people, heal them, speak with them, and make them aware that they too are
beloved, chosen, and blessed. When we discover our belovedness, we begin to see
the belovedness of other people and call that forth. It is an incredible
mystery of God’s love that the more we know how deeply we are loved, the more
we will see how deeply our sisters and our brothers in the human family are
loved.” ~ Henri Nouwen</i></div>
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Through my reading of his books, I have come to understand so much more about how much God loves us. This in turn makes me feel even more strongly about the importance of encouragement and my desire to use cards and letters to share my love and more importantly God's love with others. I've also been encouraged by Nouwen's ability to be honest and open about his struggles with loneliness, despair, feeling overwhelmed, and so much more. His words speak such truth and they are so beautiful and loving. My faith has been comforted and strengthened by his writing and I am so thankful. </div>
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<b><u>Shauna Niequist</u></b></div>
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<i>“I want a life that sizzles and pops and makes me laugh out
loud. And I don’t want to get to the end, or to tomorrow, even, and realize
that my life is a collection of meetings and pop cans and errands and receipts
and dirty dishes. I want to eat cold tangerines and sing loud in the car with
the windows open and wear pink shoes and stay up all night laughing and paint
my walls the exact color of the sky right now. I want to sleep hard on clean
white sheets and throw parties and eat ripe tomatoes and read books so good
they make me jump up and down and I want my everyday to make God belly laugh,
glad that he gave life to someone who loves the gift, who will use it up and
wring it out and drag it around like a favorite sweater.” ~ Shauna Niequist</i></div>
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I don't remember exactly how I stumbled upon Shauna Niequist, but I believe it was through a blog post of hers probably shared by someone on Facebook. One I started reading her words, I was hooked and was happy to discover she had three books and I quickly borrowed them through the library. <i>Cold Tangerines</i> was about the finding God in the smallest details and moments of our lives. <i>Bittersweet</i> was about finding God in the good and bad and how important yet difficult change can be in our lives. I loved both of those, but my favorite was <i>Bread & Wine</i> which was about communion and hospitality. This book made me cry because it reinforced my feelings about the importance of food, family, friends and fellowship. </div>
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<i>“What makes me feel alive and connected to God’s voice and
spirit in this world is creating opportunities for the people I love to rest
and connect and be fed at my table. I believe it’s the way I was made, and I
believe it matters. For many years, I didn’t let it matter, for a whole
constellation of reasons, but <u>part of
becoming yourself, in a deeply spiritual way, is finding the words to tell the
truth about what it is you really love</u>.” </i></div>
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<i>~ Shauna Niequist<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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I love food and having people over to my house for meals and hospitality. These things have been very important to me and part of that is the way I was raised by a Mom who felt the same way and part of that is just the way God made me. In reading Shauna's words, I felt a connection to her because these were just as important to her and she was able to put into words things I'd felt and believed but had never been able to say before. Through her writing, I was able to believe in the worth and beauty of hospitality and how it is a form of communion every time we gather together around the table. My faith has been invigorated and strengthened by her writing and I am so grateful.<br />
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">Brené </span>Brown</u></b></div>
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<i>“Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a
place of worthiness. It’s about cultivating the courage, compassion, and
connection to wake up in the morning and think, <u>No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough</u>.
It’s going to bed at night thinking, <u>Yes,
I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the
truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging</u>.” ~ Brené Brown</i></div>
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Oh my goodness, I am so encouraged and convicted and excited about the writing of Brené Brown! Once again, I'm not sure how I stumbled upon her writing, but ultimately, as in all things, know God directs my path - including books I read. She is not an overtly Christian writer, but her books on the topics of shame and vulnerability, courage and bravery, the lies of perfection and people pleasing and about the goal of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Gifts-Imperfection-Think-Supposed-Embrace/dp/159285849X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1446669504&sr=8-3&keywords=brene+brown" target="_blank">wholehearted living</a>, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Daring-Greatly-Courage-Vulnerable-Transforms/dp/1592408419/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1446669504&sr=8-4&keywords=brene+brown" target="_blank">Daring Greatly</a> and <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Rising-Strong-Bren%C3%A9-Brown/dp/0812995821/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1446669504&sr=8-1&keywords=brene+brown" target="_blank">Rising Strong</a> - these definitely speak to our lives and our faith in big and small ways. </div>
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<i>“We love seeing raw truth and openness in other people, but
we’re afraid to let them see it in us. We’re afraid that our truth isn’t enough
– that what we have to offer isn’t enough without the bells and whistles,
without editing, and impressing. I was afraid to walk on that stage and show
the audience my kitchen-table self – these people were too important, too
successful, too famous. My kitchen-table self is too messy, too imperfect, too
unpredictable. Here’s the crux of the struggle: <u>I want to experience your vulnerability but I don’t want to be
vulnerable. Vulnerability is courage in you and inadequacy in me. I’m drawn to
your vulnerability but repelled by mine</u>.” ~ Brené Brown<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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Vulnerability and courage seem to be two of the things God is teaching me about right now since almost everything I read seems to come back to these topics. And Brené Brown's writing is all about these subjects and she has so much research and wisdom and knowledge. Sometimes I feel like I want to take notes on everything single thing in her books and have ultimately had to purchase my own copies of them so that they can be written in and highlighted to my heart's content. Although these topics interest me, they are definitely things I struggle with and it's a slow process learning to be consistent and do them. My faith has been encouraged and deepened by her writing and I am so thankful. <br />
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<i>“My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and
united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete
understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ”
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<i>~ Colossians 2:2<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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What a blessing and how amazing it is that God uses so many people and things and places to teach us about Him. These writers have become mentors to me. They teach me about living my faith, about learning to trust God, about the importance of honesty and vulnerability, and most of all about how much God loves us. I am so thankful for books and their ability to teach us and connect us through the power of words to people we may never meet in real life, but who are still able to impact our lives in powerful and wonderful ways. <br />
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<i>“How can we thank God enough for you in return for all the
joy we have in the presence of our God because of you?” ~ 1 Thessalonians 3:9</i> <o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>Dear heavenly Father, thank You so much the joy and peace I have found through these writers and others. Thank You for their willingness to be vulnerable and honest and to share that with the world through their writing. Thank You for the ways my faith has grown because of them. Help me to continue to grow in knowledge of You, to trust and depend on You for all things, and for the courage to continue to share my story with others. Help me to be brave and vulnerable and real. Thank You for loving us, we love you too. Amen.</i>Kerihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06599186443051980672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3399757744978134547.post-3510608330997677532015-10-30T18:08:00.002-07:002015-10-30T18:08:49.412-07:00“…all things are possible with God.” ~ Mark 10:27bThis week I had the opportunity to see a special showing of the Chonda Pierce documentary <i>Laughing in the Dark</i>. My mom had asked my sister and I to see this movie with her as a birthday gift, but since my sister was sick all week my Dad ended up going with us and we were joined by some dear friends. Going into this I didn't really know anything about Chonda Pierce - had never heard of her and didn't know what to expect. Apparently she is the top-selling female comedian of all time! Who knew? :) She is also a Christian and is known for her clean comedy, honest story-telling and making you laugh and cry. I won't tell you every detail about it, but it was a great film!! She was hilarious, vulnerable, spiritually encouraging and very real. Her life has been quite difficult, but she loves Jesus and she loves making people laugh.<br />
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Apparently the movie was so popular <a href="http://www.fathomevents.com/event/chonda-pierce-laughing-in-the-dark-encore" target="_blank">Fathom Events</a> has decided to have another evening showing on November 17 and I highly recommend going if you have a chance. I think you will enjoy it and come away feeling blessed...and you will laugh a LOT! :)<br />
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<i>“There are two myths that we tend to believe about our
stories: the first is that they’re about us, and the second is that because
they’re about us, they don’t matter. But they’re not only about us, and they
matter more than ever right now. When we, any of us who have been transformed
by Christ, tell our own stories, we’re telling the story of who God is. I bet
God has done something in your life that would make our hair stand on end if
you told us about it. I bet the story God has written in your life and your
home gives voice and breath and arms and legs to the gospel every bit as much
as a church sermon ever did. Preaching is important, certainly. But it can’t be
the only way we allow God’s story to be told in our midst.” ~ Shauna Niequist<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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Before the movie started, I was catching up with my dear friend and spiritual mentor Shauna since I hadn't seen her in a long time and she always wants to know what God is doing and speaking in my life. She and I are very similar - introverted, preacher's daughter's, people pleasers, "good girls", etc. and yet we talked about how as much as we might relate to these things we know God has more for us, wants more for us and is slowly breaking these bonds and helping us become who He has made us to be. Not afraid, not perfect - but real and vulnerable - and unafraid to share the broken pieces of our lives and the ways God is moving in and through them. We talked about how important it is to share our stories and be honest with the people in our lives. When we are able to do that, we're so much more likely to find those "me too!" moments that make us realize we aren't alone. We aren't the only ones who struggle. We aren't the only broken ones. But we have to be brave enough to be real.<br />
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<i>“…we have to make the long journey from ‘What will people
think?’ to ‘I am enough.’ That journey begins with shame resilience,
self-compassion, and owning our stories. To claim the truths about who we are,
where we come from, what we believe, and the very imperfect nature of our
lives, we have to be willing to give ourselves a break and appreciate the
beauty of our cracks or imperfections. To be kinder and gentler with ourselves
and each other. To talk to ourselves the same way we’d talk to someone we care
about.” ~ </i><i><span data-reactid=".c9.1:5.1:$comment1165461026802338_1165600220121752/=10.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.2"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".c9.1:5.1:$comment1165461026802338_1165600220121752/=10.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.2.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".c9.1:5.1:$comment1165461026802338_1165600220121752/=10.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.2.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".c9.1:5.1:$comment1165461026802338_1165600220121752/=10.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.2.$comment-body.0.$end/=1$text0/=010">Brené </span></span></span></span>Brown<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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All too often in this world, especially the Christian world, and especially among women we get caught up in the lie that we have to always be perfect, never show weakness, have the perfect house and family and job and life and never struggle or fail. Underneath these masks, we are failing, we are imperfect, we do feel weak and ashamed and unworthy. But we fear opening up about it because what if no one understands? What if no one says "me too!"? What if people judge me? What if all I hear is silence and I'm ignored? <br />
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There is definitely risk in being vulnerable. There will be people who won't understand. There will be people who judge us or ignore us. But, sometimes there will be someone who does understand. Or someone who then feels able to share their struggles with you. And then you can experience the beautiful feeling of not being alone. It doesn't necessarily make life better or fix your struggles...but knowing you aren't alone can sometimes make it easier to bear. God provides these people in our lives, and when we find them what a gift it is! Sometimes they will be the people you've known for a long time but maybe something happens that makes your friendship deepen and become more open and real. Sometimes it may be someone you meet in a Bible study or other group setting and you are able to take the risk of being real and find someone who is blessed by your story - and often you will feel blessed in return because of their empathy and understanding. Sometimes it will be someone you may never meet - like a blog writer or book author or documentary star - but they talk about their life and their struggles and you feel a connection that makes you realize you aren't alone and that might make you brave enough to start being vulnerable.<br />
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<i>“Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the
wounded. It’s a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness
well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real
when we recognize our shared humanity.” ~ Pema Chodron<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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One of the things I love about Shauna is her willingness to speak truth to me. She knows me and she loves me and I believe that God has placed her in my life for many reasons, but one of them is definitely to speak His truth to me. Of course, I know that God is more than capable of speaking to me directly, and He has...through His Word, through the Holy Spirit...but I also believe that God sometimes uses people in our lives to do this too. My writing this blog was a direct result of her speaking truth to me over a year ago. But the other night, she had more to share with me and I'll admit it's a little scary, it's out of my comfort zone, but in my heart I heard the truth of what she was saying and felt the conviction of the Holy Spirit that she was right. She told me that God has much bigger plans and dreams for my life than I imagine and that means being open and daring to be willing to follow where He leads. She also shared that I need to be more open to receiving help from others which I definitely struggle with, but have been working toward in recent months. I know she spoke truth to me and it's exciting and scary and yet also amazing to think about what the future holds - but I know Who holds my future.<br />
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<i>“I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened
in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of
His glorious inheritance in the saints and His incomparably great power for us
who believe.” ~ Ephesians 1:18-19</i><br />
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<i>“But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will
send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I
have said to you.” ~ John 14:26</i></div>
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As I continue this journey, I have begun to see more and more connections between the things I'm learning about God, about courage and vulnerability and shame, about the traps of perfectionism, about trusting and depending on God, about relationships and faith. I just feel like I'm learning again and again how much everything is connected and about how important connection and community is to our lives. I struggle with what it means to put it all together and what that looks like in my life. I struggle with not knowing how to be as open and vulnerable and real as I should be with people in my life. I've spent too much time keeping things to myself, trying to handle it on my own, and not doing anything to rock the boat. But I want to be who I am, to be who God created me to be. And that has been hard because I feel like I don't know who that is and I'm afraid that if it ends up being different than I've been all these years then I won't be accepted or understood or even loved. My head knows not everyone has to like me, but what if it changes relationships with people who currently love me? What if they decide not to anymore because they don't like who I become?<br />
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<i>“The fear of human opinion disables; trusting in God
protects you from that.” ~ Proverbs 29:25</i><br />
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<i>“…the vulnerability journey is not the kind of journey we can make alone. We need support. We need
folks who will let us try on new ways being without judging us. We need a hand
to pull us up off the ground when we get kicked down in the arena (and if we
live a courageous life, that will happen)…Most of us are good at giving help,
but when it comes to vulnerability, we need to ask for help too.” ~ </i><i><span data-reactid=".c9.1:5.1:$comment1165461026802338_1165600220121752/=10.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.2"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".c9.1:5.1:$comment1165461026802338_1165600220121752/=10.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.2.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".c9.1:5.1:$comment1165461026802338_1165600220121752/=10.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.2.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".c9.1:5.1:$comment1165461026802338_1165600220121752/=10.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.2.$comment-body.0.$end/=1$text0/=010">Brené </span></span></span></span>Brown</i></div>
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In this season of struggling with who I am, I am thankful for those people who are standing with me and supporting me and walking this journey with me. I know they are a gift from God and one of His ways of loving me "with skin on." I read so many books and often find one leading to another. Recently I needed something to read and found on my shelf a book my Grandma had given me within the last two years. She is part of a book club and usually at Christmas she passes along the books she's read to me and my sister and mom. This one was called <i>Secrets Over Sweet Tea</i> by Denise Hildreth Jones and it was set in the South and talked about secrets, the courage to be vulnerable and healing. I didn't expect a lot out of it, but it made me cry because it hit close to home several times. And at the back of the book there was a note about a devotional the author had written to go along with the themes in this story called <i>Reclaiming Your Heart: a Journey back to Laughing, Loving and Living</i>. I decided to read that book as well and although I hadn't imagined that I was living with a "shut-down heart" I could see myself in several of the descriptions she talked about and it spoke to me powerfully.<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><i>"...reclaiming
your heart takes courage. It takes work too – the work of honestly examining
your life and then being intentional with different choices. But it’s so worth
it. With God’s help, you can reclaim your shut-down heart and run headlong into
your amazing future...<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">Will
some change happen quickly? Possibly…But moments like that are rare. It’s far
more likely that reclaiming a shut-down heart will happen slowly and gradually.
Day by day, moment by moment, you’ll have to decide whether you will revert to
your old shut-down patterns of behavior or fight for your freedom to live as
God designed you. And shutting down will always be a temptation because while
reclaiming your heart brings joy and freedom, it also puts you at risk for
pain...<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">The
most important thing you can do on the journey to reclaim your heart is to stay
grounded in the Word of God. It’s your dependable source of truth to counter
the enemy’s lies. </span></span>” ~ Denise Hildreth Jones</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">I want to live with an open heart. I want to have the courage to be vulnerable. I want to learn to be who I am - who God has created me to be. I want to not be afraid to share my struggles, my successes, my failures and my feelings. While I don't exactly <b>want</b> to be uncomfortable, I know that all growth comes from stepping outside my comfort zones and allowing God to do as He will in my life. And so although I might be afraid, I <b>want</b> to step out in faith and trust in His plan for me. I know I will fail and I will fall. I know I will have moments where I want to stop and let go. I know I will want to hide and run away. But I'm going to try and I'm going to need help at times. </span></div>
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<i>“God’s goal isn’t to make us comfortable here but to help us
know him and to intensify our longings for him. Our troubles are not signs of
abandonment but are evidence that he is mightily at work. He uses trouble to
draw us closer and open our eyes to see more of him (see Heb. 12:5-11).” ~
Carolyn Custis James</i><br />
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<i>“God will strengthen you with His own great power so that
you will not give up when troubles come, but you will be patient!” ~ Colossians
1:11</i><br />
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<i>“We simply can’t learn to be more vulnerable and courageous
on our own. Sometimes our first and greatest dare is asking for support.” </i><br />
<i>~
</i><i><span data-reactid=".c9.1:5.1:$comment1165461026802338_1165600220121752/=10.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.2"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".c9.1:5.1:$comment1165461026802338_1165600220121752/=10.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.2.$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".c9.1:5.1:$comment1165461026802338_1165600220121752/=10.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.2.$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".c9.1:5.1:$comment1165461026802338_1165600220121752/=10.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.2.$comment-body.0.$end/=1$text0/=010">Brené </span></span></span></span>Brown<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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I do believe that God has a plan and purpose and a dream for my life. I know it is bigger and more than I can imagine or hope. I know that it will likely involve change and stepping out of my comfort zone and a deep and abiding faith in God. I want to be brave enough to embrace His dreams for me. I want to be vulnerable enough to be myself and allow others to be real about their struggles as well. I'm going to need help. I am asking for help. I may not always be as open to it as I should be, but I am going to try. God knows where this help will come from. I trust Him to lead and direct the people He wants to work in my life. I trust Him to do what He needs to do and I trust Him to lead me where I need to go. I want to be brave enough to tell my stories and open enough to listen to the stories of others. <br />
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<i>“Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for
the Lord.” </i><br />
<i>~ Psalm 27:14</i><br />
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<i>“God will fulfill His purpose for you.” ~ Psalm 138:8</i><br />
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<i>“This is what I want you to do: tell your story. Don’t allow
the story of God, the sacred, transforming story of what God does in a human
heart to become flat and lifeless. If we choose silence, if we allow the gospel
to be told only on Sundays, only in sanctuaries, only by approved and educated
professionals, that life-changing story will lose its ability to change lives.
It always goes back to the beginning, no matter how far we’ve wandered off
course. When Christ walked among us, he entrusted the gospel to plain old
regular people who were absolutely not religious professionals. If you have
been transformed by the grace of God, then you have within you all you need to
write your manifesto, your poem, your song, your battle cry, your love letter
to a beautiful and broken world. Your story must be told.” ~ Shauna Niequist<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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To be really honest, this post was both the hardest and the easiest thing I've ever written. Hardest because I know I was really real and vulnerable and honest - and speaking these truths out loud makes them real. Easiest because the words just seemed to flow out of my head and heart directly onto the page. This isn't the post I had intended to write, but it is the post God wanted me to write and obviously that needed to be written. So I'm putting it out there - raw and vulnerable - asking for support that I'm also slightly terrified of actually receiving. Believing that God has a dream for me, but a bit afraid at what the end result may be. But also excited because I feel peace in my heart and a deep knowledge that this is true and real and although I don't know what the next step is and I definitely don't know what the future holds, I do feel confident that God knows. I know He loves me, He is always there for me, and He will never leave me...and so I believe.<br />
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<i>Dear heavenly Father, thank You for the lessons you are teaching me. Thank You for the dreams and plans and hopes and purpose You have for me. Help me to be open to Your leading, Your direction, and Your truth. Give me the willingness to be accepting of the help that I need. Help me to be gracious and open and vulnerable, especially when it's hard and when I would rather shut down and hide. Thank You for the wonderful people You put in my life who can be there to support and love me and help me to always be thankful. Give me discernment and wisdom as I learn about You and Your plans for me and direct my paths. Thank You so much for loving me, for loving all of us...we love you too. Amen.</i>Kerihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06599186443051980672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3399757744978134547.post-8210270481002788472015-10-22T20:46:00.002-07:002015-10-22T20:46:30.514-07:00“…a sweet friendship refreshes the soul.” ~ Proverbs 27:9b<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I love celebrating my birthday. My parents have always made it a big deal reminding me that this was the day God chose for me to be born and that makes it very special. One of our family traditions is getting to choose what we want for breakfast, lunch and dinner on our birthday. We always make a big deal and I really do love that. <br />
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I usually have a birthday party with friends and family and over the years I've had some amazing ones. The year we bought our house was also my 30th birthday, so we had a combination housewarming birthday party with a Greek theme - <a href="http://teetee-keri.blogspot.com/2009/09/mamma-mia-its-my-big-fat-greek-30th.html" target="_blank">Mamma Mia! It's my big, fat, Greek 30th Birthday/Housewarming</a>. The next year I decided to do a 1960's Mad Men themed cocktail party which included 1960's era party food, a dress code and we ended up taking hundreds of photos - it was an amazing evening!<br />
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For the next two years, I was obsessed with French food. My sister created, cooked and served an elaborate French feast which included appetizers (basil palmiers, gougeres & an onion tart), French onion soup, Chateaubriand for dinner, an amazing cheese course and two desserts - crème brulee and chocolate soufflé. The following year was planned by a friend who chose the wonderful French restaurant <a href="http://lerendezvousrestaurant.biz/" target="_blank">Le Rendez-Vous</a>.<br />
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The last two years, I decided to have a gathering of friends for potluck-style parties with the theme of appetizers in 2013 and comfort food in 2014. But both years I baked my own birthday cake - Pioneer Woman's Chocolate Strawberry Nutella <a href="http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/chocolate-strawberry-nutella-cake/" target="_blank">cake</a> - OMGoodness it is delicious!!!<br />
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This year for my birthday, I decided to try something I'd been wanting to do for a few years. I am naturally a very introverted person and while I do love big celebrations for my birthday I also struggle with all the attention and the need to divide my time between all my friends. I'm used to spending time with my friends in small groups or individually and it's so difficult when they're all in the same place because I can never spend as much time as I'd like with anyone. I decided to invite my friends to make plans in small groups or individually with me over the course of my birthday month - that way we'd end up with quality and quantity of time together and I wouldn't feel so overwhelmed.<br />
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Over the course of August, I was so blessed to celebrate in different and wonderful ways with some of my friends. It was such a blessing to me to have real quality time with each person or small group and it allowed our conversations to go deeper and our friendships to grow. Plus it was a lot of fun - going to the movies, painting at Color Me Mine, dinner at a favorite restaurant, and a tea party at a fun teashop! What meant the most to me was seeing my friends excited about planning a special time with me, and then celebrating together both my birthday and the gift of friendship.<br />
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<i>“<span style="color: #181818; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 107%;">We cultivate love when we allow our most
vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known…” ~ Brene Brown</span></i><o:p></o:p></div>
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I struggled at first about celebrating my birthday this way, because it felt selfish in some ways, although I recognize that it isn't selfish to let people I love know how I feel and what would make me happy. And part of me was worried that no one would make any plans...though quickly I saw many friends excited to plan a special get together with me. Yes, there were some who didn't make plans and in some cases that really hurt my feelings. It was a little scary to be vulnerable and realize that some people might not understand and might be upset about doing something different. But part of the journey I've been on is about taking risks, and being vulnerable and opening up about how I feel and what I want and what makes me happy...or sad or hurt. This was an opportunity to be real and honest and although I was a little worried, I'm glad I did it. Because ultimately, I felt so seen and known and loved by the ones who took the time to celebrate with me and it ended up being a wonderful birthday month. <br />
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<i>“True friendship is a sacred, important thing, and it
happens when we drop down into that deeper level of who we are, when we cross
over into the broken, fragile parts of ourselves. We have to give something up
in order to get friendship like that. We have to give up our need to be
perceived as perfect. We have to give up our ability to control what people
think of us. We have to overcome the fear that when they see the depths of who
we are, they’ll leave. But what we give up is nothing in comparison to what
this kind of friendship gives to us. Friendship is about risk. Love is about
risk. If we can control it and manage it and manufacture it, then it’s
something else, but if it’s really love, really friendship, it’s a little scary
around the edges.” ~ Shauna Niequist<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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Two of the gifts I received for my birthday really blessed me and in both cases made me feel seen and known and loved...which of course made me cry. The first was a letter written by a close friend who took the time to tell me what she loved about me and our friendship. Her insights were things I did know about myself, but had never put together in those ways and had never had anyone tell me how much they liked those qualities. <i>"I know, in spite of all these wonderful traits that you sometimes think you lack confidence. But confidence in yourself - not the loud, bravado kind of confidence, but the certainty that how you feel is valid and that what you believe about the world is true - that's the kind of confidence I know you have. I know because I can feel it when I'm with you. It spreads to the people around you and makes them feel surer of themselves without you needing to say a word. It's a rare kind of magic." </i>It made my heart feel so happy and full and understood - she really "got" me - quirks and all and wanted me to know it. I will cherish that letter and her friendship forever. <br />
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The other gift was a jar of Kind Notes - little tiny cards in envelopes with encouraging and kind quotes. This was sent by some dear friends from college and when I received it I felt so overwhelmed and loved and understood. One of the things I do (I think it's a spiritual gift of mine) is to send cards to friends and family - birthday cards, anniversary cards, get well cards, thinking of you or praying for you cards, etc. What I felt when I received this gift was that these friends had seen and known this gift of mine (sending cards) and having been recipients of it many times over the years, took the time to reciprocate in a way that they knew meant something to me. It felt deeply personal and heartfelt and it blessed me in ways that I find difficult to express completely. Most of all, I felt known and understood and loved and appreciated. It was a gift I will treasure forever. <br />
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<i>“A person can grow to his or her fullest capacity only in
mutually caring relationships with others.” ~ Mister Rogers<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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I feel truly blessed to be surrounded with so many friends who love me. It is a privilege to know and love them and I do my best to make time to grow and deepen these relationships. For some who live far away, this means being intentional about making time to call and catch up. It includes sending cards or letters, communicating through Facebook or email or texting. And when time and finances allow, it will include making a visit. This doesn't happen as often as I'd like, but it's definitely something I try to make happen. For those friends who live nearby, this means making plans for coffee or lunch or dinner. It can include calls, definitely texting, and keeping up to date in Facebook. With some friends we've established a pattern of monthly dinners or lunches. With other friends it's more random but ends up being at least monthly if not more often. My husband and I frequently like to have friends over for meals and we often discuss who we haven't seen in awhile and then make plans to get together with them. Being in community with others is very important to us, to me. I look forward to time spent with my friends and family and cherish the moments we spend together.<br />
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<i>“Community is beautiful, and every one of us needs it.
Without community we’ll sink. And the only way to have true community is to be
transparent. To share the stuff you think about at night as you go to bed. To
ask the hard questions. To encourage, listen, pray for, and speak truth to.” ~ Robin
Jones Gunn & Alyssa Joy Bethke<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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It's amazing how God brings certain people into our lives. Something I've discovered in the past few years, is how certain friendships in my life have deepened over the course of this journey I'm on. Friends who I might not have expected have stepped into my life and encouraged me, supported me and helped me grow. Some of these friends have been really vulnerable and real, and their transparency has helped me to feel brave enough to be vulnerable and real in return. When someone is willing to be really real - the good stuff, the bad stuff, the hard stuff, the really really bad and hard stuff, the sad stuff, and even the amazing wonderful stuff - and when you are willing to brave and take the risk to be vulnerable too, God draws your hearts closer in ways you never imagined was possible. It makes those friendships become like family...and I am so thankful for and amazed by those friends. <br />
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<i>“All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the
Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us
when we go through hard times, and before you know it, He brings us alongside
someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that
person just as God was there for us.” </i></div>
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<i>~ 2 Corinthians 1:3-4<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>“Such is the gift of true community – a wee tribe of people
who will cheer for us, not necessarily because we’re good, but because they
claim us as theirs.” ~ Lisa Harper<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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God created us to be in community. To have our tribe of people around us who help to teach and encourage, to convict and support, and to love us. The community can be found in our families, in our churches, in our friendships and even in people we may not be able to meet - like my spiritual mentor, Henri Nouwen. These people help us to not feel alone. They help us feel known and understood. They help us to grow and deepen our relationship with God. We can learn from each other and teach one another. What a beautiful thing community is and what a wonderful gift from our heavenly Father. <br />
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<i>“Friendship is acting out God’s love for people in tangible
ways…Friendship is an opportunity to act on God’s behalf in the lives of the
people that we’re close to, reminding each other who God is.” </i></div>
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<i>~ Shauna Niequist
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I'm grateful for the ways God uses me to encourage my friends and family with the truth of His Word. When I send a card to someone, I always include quotes and verses - sometimes just one, but usually a lot. As I'm choosing them, I think about that person and the reasons I'm sending them a card. I think about our friendship and why I love them, I think about how to pray for them, and I think about what might best encourage and support them and show my love and care for them, but more importantly, God's love for them. I know that He leads me in my choices and it encourages me to be able to be a blessing and encouragement to that person on God's behalf. This is why I know it's a spiritual gift, because every time I send a card, I know I'm being the person God created me to be and sending love and truth to someone who He has placed on my heart and using the words He wants me to use. It's a gift and a responsibility that I don't take lightly because it's one of the ways I can shine my light for Him to the world. <br />
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<i>“…glad they had each other during this time and could be
anchored together in the safe harbor of a steady friendship and an abiding hope
in God’s faithfulness.” ~ Robin Jones Gunn<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>“Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God.” ~
Philippians 1:3<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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Friendship is a blessing and something I am thankful for every day. The beauty of the friends and family that God has brought into my life is something to treasure. The ways I have felt supported, encouraged, and loved by those friends is so important to me and has helped me to feel seen and known and loved. The ability to be a friend to others and to help them feel heard and seen and known and loved is such a gift. I'm so grateful for those who have been open and vulnerable with me, and I'm thankful for the opportunity to be real and honest in return. Each friendship has the ability to teach me things about how to relate to others, how to grow and change, and how to share God's love with the people in our lives. There is a South African word "Ubuntu" which means "I am because we are" and it really fits this idea of the importance of friendship and community. We are affected by the people around us and we become more of who we are because of who they are and the relationships between us. This also relates to our relationship with God - we become more like Him the longer we are in relationship with Him. What a blessing!<br />
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<i>Dear heavenly Father, thank You for the gifts of community and friendship. Thank You for the very special people You bring into our lives and the ways those relationships show us how deeply we are loved, especially by You. Thank You for the opportunity to show love to others. Thank You for the gift of encouragement and thank You for using me to encourage others. Help me to always reflect Your love and concern for others. Thank You for the ways You are helping me to be vulnerable, and help me to continue to do so even when it's scary. Thank You for the people who love me and see me and know me...and thank You for always seeing me, knowing me intimately and always loving me no matter what. I love you too. Amen.</i></div>
Kerihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06599186443051980672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3399757744978134547.post-73466513146391051582015-10-14T19:52:00.001-07:002015-10-14T19:52:42.058-07:00“You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in You, whose thoughts are fixed on You.” ~ Isaiah 26:3<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I have a hard time trusting. This seems clearly tied to my struggles with letting go. And although I want to say I will trust...or that I will let go...I know myself and yet again I find myself holding on and not trusting. Even beginning to write this post, I struggle with not wanting to share and let go of my struggles and insecurities and vulnerability. <br />
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At work, I trust myself to know what to do and how to do it. But part of my job is training others to do many of those same things. The only way they will learn to be confident in their skills is to trust them enough to do what they are trained to do. And generally, I succeed in letting go at work. Yes, I'm always listening and ready to pipe in with the correct information as needed, but as time progresses I have to let go. I think I've gotten better with this process at work, but as I'm in my 15th year it could just be a result of time wearing me down. I'd like to think it's growth though. :)<br />
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At home, I struggle with letting go of the "right" way to do things. I do understand in my head that this is not exactly fair since most things can have multiple ways of being handled and none are truly better than any other. But I cling to my "right" way and this causes struggles between my husband and I many times. Even though I know this is another way of not trusting, not letting go...I still stubbornly do it. Why?<br />
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In my relationship with God, I find myself all too easily trusting Him and placing my full faith in Him...when things are good...when I'm not struggling...when I feel happy and secure and at peace. But when trouble comes, when anything goes wrong, when I feel sad or angry or depressed or anxious...then I worry and stress and let go of my strong faith. I get scared and want to hide and do not handle things well. I cry, I lash out, I have fear and doubts, and then this vicious circle begins.<br />
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First, I am worried and scared and feeling weak in my faith. Then I start to feel like a bad person, a bad wife, a bad friend, a terrible Christian. I begin to think that my struggles aren't that hard, that I need to get over it, that I'm being a poor witness. Sometimes I allow myself to share my struggles and vulnerabilities. But then I start to be overwhelmed by the attention of well-meaning and thoughtful friends and family who encourage me. I feel like I have to be better all of a sudden, that I need to get over it for them, to have "victory in Christ."<br />
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<i>“I have learned to recognize what it means to be human. I’m
so tired of hearing about the victorious Christian life that I think I will
die. Do you know what the victorious Christian life is? It is keeping your nose
above water. It is keeping on trucking for another day. It is being faithful –
just barely. It is keeping from messing it up too terribly. We have this idea
of what a real Christian ought to be, say, and think, and then we try to live
up to that idea and force everyone else to live up to it too.” </i><br />
<i>~ Stephen Brown</i><br />
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One of the things I've been so encouraged by in all the reading I've done over the past few years is each author's openness, vulnerability and courage - and ultimately what I've discovered is the reality that we all struggle with these feelings and one of the best things we can do is share these truths with each other because more often than not you will experience the "me too" moment and know you aren't alone. <br />
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The other thing I've been delighted to discover is how much God loves us and how willing He is to deal with our fears and struggles and feelings and emotions. Reading through Psalms I found myself realizing for the first time what an emotional roller coaster it is - the highest highs, lowest lows, and angriest anger. I started to think that maybe the reason it's in the Bible is because God wants us to know it's okay to feel all the feelings. And even more important, to share them with Him. He already knows of course, but it's for our benefit that we admit them and really feel them. And the Psalms helps remind us that we aren't alone...and in reading we can relate to the happy, to the sad, or to the angry...or even to all three, or more. <br />
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<i>“Regardless of whether we feel strong or weak in our faith,
we remember that our assurance is not based upon our ability to conjure up some
special feeling. Rather, it is built upon a confident assurance in the
faithfulness of God. We focus on His trustworthiness and especially on His
steadfast love.” ~ Richard J. Foster</i><br />
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<i>“As for me, I look to the LORD for help. I wait confidently
for God to save me and my God will certainly hear me…for though I fall, I will
rise again! Though I sit in darkness, the LORD will be my light.” </i><br />
<i>~ Micah 7:7-8<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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Certainly, I have not arrived. I have not been perfected. I keep struggling with the same things. I fail. But I keep getting up. I keep placing my hand back in His (I let go, never Him). I keep building my faith and trusting. Although I am certain that I will fail again, I am glad to be able to place my trust in Someone who will never fail. Thankfully God is so good. So strong. So faithful. So trustworthy. So loving. <br />
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<i>“Our faith doesn’t cause God to be faithful; it simply helps
us discover that God has been faithful all along!” ~ Ron Vanderwell</i><br />
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<i>“Your eternal word, O LORD, stands firm in heaven. Your
faithfulness extends to every generation.” ~ Psalm 119:89-90a</i><br />
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One of my favorite authors is Robin Jones Gunn. I have read all her <a href="http://www.robingunn.com/books/" target="_blank">books</a> and have felt especially connected to her Christy Miller series. I first read the original 12 book series when I was in high school, and as the stories have continued in other follow-up series, I have grown up along with these beloved characters. I have always felt connected to the main character Christy. Many times the issues she dealt with were very similar to things I had experienced or struggled with and it helped make me feel less alone. Her newest series is called <i>Christy & Todd: The Married Years</i>, and once again it has been amazing to me to see so much of my own struggles in the life of Christy - like trusting God, living with friends, financial struggles, etc.. <br />
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<i>“…Moses stepped into the deep darkness because God was
there. It’s the mystery part of following God. I feel like that’s what we’re
doing now. Instead of pulling back in fear, we’re stepping into the deep
darkness of the unknown future…And the reason we’re doing it is because we know
that God is already there and more than anything, we want to be with Him.” ~
Robin Jones Gunn<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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I want to step into the deep darkness. Writing this blog is part of that journey. Putting my thoughts and fears and vulnerabilities out there for others to see, instead of hiding inside myself. It's scary, but a little bit exciting. I want to know what plans God has for me and I have faith that they are bigger and braver and bolder than I would ever imagine or attempt for myself. And while I know He might allow me to live with tiny dreams, I know that He has huge dreams and I have to trust Him to fulfill them. And I have to step out in faith and trust Him to always have me. <br />
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<i>“Blessed is the [woman] who trusts in the LORD, and whose
hope is in the LORD.” ~ Jeremiah 17:7</i></div>
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<i>
</i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><i>“Trust
God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your
own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the
one who will keep you on track.” </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><i>~ Proverbs 3:5-6</i> </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><i>Dear heavenly Father, thank You for being Someone always dependable, always trustworthy, always faithful, and always loving. I know that I struggle in so many ways in trusting and letting go. Thank You for the ways You have been convicting me and teaching me in these areas. I know this is a lifelong process, but help me to keep depending on You and trusting You, especially when times get hard and scary. Help me be able to let go when I should and not be afraid of what might happen. Thank You for providing such wisdom in Your Word the Bible, in the words of authors who are brave enough to speak truth, and in the words of those people around me. Help me to be brave, to step out into the darkness, to place my full faith and trust in You...and thank You for never letting go and always loving me. I love you too. Amen.</i></span></div>
Kerihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06599186443051980672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3399757744978134547.post-39314425105427573442015-10-08T17:22:00.001-07:002015-10-08T17:22:35.435-07:00“But the Lord stood with me and gave me strength.” ~ 2 Timothy 4:17<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Six months. That's how much time has passed since I last wrote on this blog. In many ways, so much has happened, but honestly not that much has happened beyond normal life. I was reading back through my last post and with the gift of time I start to see some things make a little more sense. <br />
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I talked a lot in my last post about being brave, about being open and honest, about sharing my feelings. Guess what? I didn't do that. I got afraid. I let myself hold things in. I didn't do what I know I should do, even what I wanted to do. <br />
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It's been a rough few months. True, nothing really terrible has happened to me. In fact, a lot of really wonderful things have happened. But I've been hiding in myself. I've been hiding myself away. Definitely from writing here...obviously. Everything that has been rough has been inside. My emotions have felt all over the place. I've felt like I wanted to say everything and also say nothing. I've felt like I needed to scream or cry or like I'd come out of my skin if I didn't express some things. <br />
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Some of it I've been able to express. I've experienced some wonderful deepening of certain relationships and that has blessed my soul. I've also experienced some falling away in certain relationships and that has ravaged my soul. It's been good and it's been bad and it's been hard. Hard to know where to start, where to go and where I'm hoping to end up. I still don't really know what to do...but I think I might be ready to write about it.<br />
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Recently, I started reading a (new-to-me) blog and just loved it. A lot of it was encouraging and funny. I cried after reading one post. I laughed so many times. And then I got to this one post and it was convicting. She shared this quote <a href="http://ambersalhus.com/why-john-wayne-gets-it/" target="_blank">in her post</a><br />
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<i>"To the degree that you need people to affirm you, you will limit God's ability to use you." ~ Levi Lusko</i></div>
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Like her, I struggle with being a people pleaser. I struggle all the time with wanting nobody to be mad at me, for everybody to like me...not like be in love with me, but at least think I'm okay...and it's hard because it's unsustainable. I know in my head that it is impossible. I tell myself that life will go on if someone doesn't like me or is mad at me. But I find it hard to live with or to let those things go. They bug me and keep me thinking and worrying and stressing. All of which is not good, and I know it's not good, but I still do it.<br />
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I don't want to be tied up in people pleasing. I know it doesn't work.<br />
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I signed up to receive her blog in my email, and she's been doing a blogging challenge where she writes a post every day in the month of October. I love that she's so real. Some posts are serious and thought-provoking. One post was about the TV show <i>Scandal.</i> I've posted a few comments on posts that really meant something to me and in reading her responses, it makes me believe she and I could be good friends. :) <a href="http://ambersalhus.com/anxiety-girl-the-power-of-analysis-paralysis-2/" target="_blank">Her post today</a> really got me thinking since it was again about some of these things I've been struggling with - namely, what people think of me. <br />
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I know this is something I can't do on my own and that's where my blog title comes into play...I know that my strength comes from the Lord. I know it in my head, but have trouble holding on to that in my heart. <br />
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<i>“But if you see that the job is
too big for you, that it’s something only God can do, and you trust him to do
it – you could never do it for yourself no matter how hard and long you worked
– well, that trusting-him-to-do-it is what gets you set right with God, by God.
Sheer gift.” </i></div>
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<i>~ Romans 4:5<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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When I read through my Bible, I read it in the Message and loved it so much. Everything seemed so fresh and amazing and incredibly encouraging. The book of Romans quickly became one of my favorites and this verse is one of the many reasons. It reminds me that I need to be <i>"willing to live in the risky faith-embrace of God's action for [me]"</i> ~ Romans 4:12. God can make changes in me that are impossible without Him. But I have to let go and trust Him.<br />
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<i>“Remember, tho’ we struggle against things because we are
afraid of them, it is often the other way around – we get afraid because we
struggle. Are you struggling, resisting? Don’t you think Our Lord says to you
‘Peace, child, peace. Relax. Let go. Underneath are the everlasting arms. Let
go, I will catch you. Do you trust me so little?’” </i></div>
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<i>~ C.S. Lewis<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>“The eternal God is your dwelling place, and underneath are
the everlasting arms.” ~ Deuteronomy 33:27</i></div>
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So, even though I'm afraid of letting go. Even though I'm afraid of being real. Even though I'm afraid that people won't like me. I want to let go. I want to be real. I want to be okay with not having people like me. So I'm going to try. I'm going to trust. I want to let go.</div>
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I will start writing this blog again. I will try to be real. I will continue to be encouraged by the people around me being brave. I will trust God to be my strength when I am weak. I have some ideas about what this might look like. I think it will probably be different than I imagine, but I'm okay with that. I know God is leading my life in lots of different ways and looking back I can see how the things I saw as obstacles and chaos and crisis were being used to change me in ways I needed but couldn't have learned in any other way. I feel excited about this, even though it's still a little scary. </div>
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<i>“The LORD gives His people
strength. The LORD blesses them with peace.” ~ Psalm 29:11</i></div>
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<i>“The LORD is my strength, my
shield from every danger. I trust in Him with all my heart. He helps me, and my
heart is filled with joy.” </i></div>
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<i>~ Psalm 28:7</i></div>
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<i>“I can do all things through
Christ who strengthens me.” </i></div>
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<i>~ Philippians 4:13</i></div>
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<i>Dear heavenly Father, thank You for never giving up on me, on any of us, no matter how much we struggle and fail and flail about. Thank You for loving us anyway, for loving us more than we can even imagine. Thank You for the people in my life who help me to grow and feel strong and feel loved. Help me to not depend on them for my sense of self, or purpose, or worth. Help me to depend on You and not be afraid of what people think. Please be with my friends and family who are dealing with all sorts of issues and struggles - give them Your peace and comfort and help them to trust and depend on You. Thank You for loving us, we love you too. Amen.</i></div>
Kerihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06599186443051980672noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3399757744978134547.post-90952057499471120722015-03-10T20:22:00.002-07:002015-03-10T20:22:43.357-07:00“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” ~ Psalm 46:1I don't know about you, but I struggle with expressing my feelings. Sometimes I keep too much inside until it overflows and is more than I or anyone else can reasonably handle. Sometimes I worry that expressing how I really feel will cause rejection or hurt. Sometimes I think that my feelings don't matter or that ultimately there's no reason to express them. Sometimes I think that it's wrong to give in to my pain, that I should be able to triumph over it, that in comparison to others, I should just get over my shallow or petty feelings. Sometimes I realize that it's okay to feel what I feel and even express what I feel...but this doesn't tend to happen as often. <br />
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While I'm more than willing to listen to someone else express their feelings and would never make them feel bad or wrong to express them - I don't do the same for myself. I have all the patience, encouragement, empathy and love for my friends and family, but I tell myself to hold back or to get over it or to pretend that everything is okay when it's really not. Do you ever struggle with that? I hope it's not just me. <br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“There’s no ‘should’ or ‘should
not’ when it comes to having feelings. They’re part of who we are and their
origins are beyond our control. When we can believe that, we may find it easier
to make constructive choices about what to do with those feelings.” ~ Mister
Rogers<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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Oh, how I love Mister Rogers! I know he's known for working with and speaking to children, but aren't we all just children at heart? I know that anytime I read his words I feel so understood, so encouraged, so loved. I think he helps me to feel brave. <br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“I have always called talking
about feelings ‘important talk.’ Knowing that our feelings are natural and
normal for all of us can make it easier for us to share them with one another.”
~ Mister Rogers<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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In my head, I know we have every right to our feelings. We really can't control how we feel, however, we can always control how we act or react. And I know it isn't wrong to share our feelings with others - if they've hurt us or scared us, if we're worried or stressed, if we feel anger or sadness. Sometimes it's good to wait until our feelings no longer overwhelm us, but other times the only way we can be truly honest is in the midst of our strong feelings. I don't always do this because I worry so much about saying or doing something hurtful or cruel or that I don't really mean. But I have also had experiences with being able to share my raw honest feelings, and the end result was so much better than I could have ever imagined. <br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><i>“It’s
good to talk about things that make you feel uncomfortable. Getting them out
gives you a lot of freedom. It allows you to move around inside your life and
get comfortable.” ~ Robin Jones Gunn</i> </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">I hate to be uncomfortable. I hate to feel awkward. I dislike confrontation and never want to argue. But life is full of uncomfortable, awkward confrontations and arguments are bound to happen. But if I'm too afraid to express myself, to be real and honest with people - especially the people I love who love me too - then our relationships can never deepen and grow and become all they can be. This of course comes back to fear - fear of being the "only one," fear of being rejected, fear of being hurt, fear of being different, fear of people's opinions and so many other fears. I know I'm not supposed to live in fear, I know that God call us to a life of community with others and especially with Him, I know these things...but I struggle. We all struggle. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“Whenever
I’m afraid, I will trust in [God]” ~ Psalm 56:3</i></span></span></div>
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Last year, when I was reading through my Bible I fell in love with Psalms. For many reasons, this book was such an encouragement and balm to my hurting soul. I got so many encouraging, joyful, and soul-strengthening promises to cling to and I was reminded that God created us and He created us with a full range of emotions. And it's okay to feel all of those emotions, and to express all of those emotions. The Psalms reminded me that, like David, I can swing from the highest heights of love and peace in Him, to the deepest depths of sorrow and anguish and pain, to the burning furies of anger and resentment and desire for our enemies to suffer. The key is to bring it all to God, to share our joys and pains and anger with Him. To allow Him to remind us of His promises, to soothe our hurts, to lessen our anger, to share our joy. He just wants us to be honest with Him. </span><br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we’re not alone.” </i></span><br />
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>~ Mister Rogers</i></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">The people that God brings into our lives are also a way we can safely express those feelings and emotions. When we are able to be honest and real with others, we begin to see that we aren't alone, we aren't the "only one" and that by being in community we can be reminded of God's promises when we might not be able to remember them on our own. I'm so incredibly grateful for the very special family and friends that God has blessed me with because I have learned so much about myself, about community and most importantly, about God by these relationships and the trust and love found in them.</span></div>
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<i><span class="text"><span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">“Those of us who are strong and able in the faith need to
step in and lend a hand to those who falter, and not just do what is most
convenient for us. Strength is for service, not status. Each one of us needs to
look after the good of the people around us, asking ourselves, “How can I
help?” </span></span></i></div>
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<i><span class="text"><span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">~ </span></span><span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Romans
15:1-2<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“Let
us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a
harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good
to all people, especially those who belong to the family of believers.” ~
Galatians 6:9-10<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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I'm so thankful for the people who have stepped in to my life to encourage me, to support me, to remind me of the promises of God and the ways that He has worked in their lives and in my life. And I'm thankful for the blessing it can be to be that person to someone who is struggling, who needs encouragement and strength in their time of struggle. God works in so many mysterious ways, and one of those is the beauty of how He brings lives together. How wonderful that we aren't all struggling at the same time or even joyful at the same time...because we are always in flux, there is always someone we can encourage in the faith and thankfully someone who can encourage us in the faith. <br />
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<i>“Maybe life’s pretty good for you right now. God has given
you this good stuff so that you can show the world a person who enjoys
blessings, but who still is totally obsessed with God. Or maybe life is tough
right now, and everything feels like a struggle. God has allowed hard things in
your life so you can show the world that your God is great and knowing Him
brings peace and joy, even when life is hard.” ~ Francis Chan<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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This isn't to say that we can't feel alone. This is definitely something that I think we all struggle with one way or another. But even when we don't feel Him, God is always there with us. He will never leave us or forsake us, but that doesn't mean we can't "feel" alone. I can't say that I know any solutions or perfect ways to deal with this, but what I do know and what I have to cling to is that we are never truly alone. God is always there and the more we turn to Him and cling to Him and are honest with Him, the better off we are. It won't necessarily solve the pain and hurt, but it's a start and God won't leave us unfinished. </div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“Friends, when life gets really
difficult, don’t jump to the conclusion that God isn’t on the job. Instead, be
glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a
spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner.” ~ 1 Peter
4:12-13<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“Be
joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is
God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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One of my goals this year is to be mindful of my relationships. To make time to keep in touch. To find ways to spend time together. To reach out. One of the ways to do this is to send cards. Another is to set phone dates with those who live too far away to get together. Or find the finances to visit those who live far away. To have lunch or dinner with those who live close by. To pay attention. To pray more and reach out to those who might be hurting. Something a little bit harder for me is to be more open about my thoughts and feelings - to be more real and honest, to take a risk and be brave, to not be afraid to be who I am even if it might lead to loss or rejection or hurt. Another thing that I struggle with is wanting to be able to fix things, to always have an answer, to take away someone's hurt and pain. But I can't do this, and often even if I might have some answers, it may be better to just be. I love this quote from one of my favorite theologians - it speaks to my heart and encourages me to be this for those I love and appreciate this about the ones who love me.</div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>When we honestly ask ourselves
which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those
who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share
our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who
can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us
in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing,
not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend
who cares. ~Henri Nouwen<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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I think that part of the beauty of this quote is that this is often what God does for us - He shares our pain, touches our wounds with His nail-scarred hands, He sits silently in our despair and confusion, stays with us through our grief and bereavement, but (and this is one of those glorious life-changing buts) He is powerful, He does know and He can heal. He is the best friend we will ever have and His love for us never changes even when we cycle through the full range of emotions that He has given us. He can handle our rage and pain, He can handle our hurt and confusion, and He loves to share our joy and wonder. When I think about feelings in this way, it makes me wonder why I struggle so much. But I know that even when I struggle, He is there and He understands and He will get me through it. God is good all the time and the feelings He created in us and not something to be afraid of, but something we should always feel comfortable sharing with Him. And like Mister Rogers says, <i>"<span style="color: red; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="color: black;">When we can talk about our
feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary."</span></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: black;">Dear heavenly Father, thank You for creating feelings and allowing us the opportunity to feel such an amazing range of emotions. Help us to come to You with our fears and hurts and joys, and know that we aren't alone. Help us to “Be completely humble and gentle: be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” (Ephesians 4:2-3) Help us to remember that even when we are hurt, it doesn't give us reason to lash out. Help us to remember that when we are in pain, to seek comfort and peace with You. Help us to remember to thank You for the joys and beauty in the world around us.</span> <span style="color: black;">Thank You God for always being there for us and for providing people in our lives to help encourage us in our faith. Thank You for loving us. We love you too. Amen.</span></i></div>
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Kerihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06599186443051980672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3399757744978134547.post-11133222247482587902015-01-26T23:56:00.001-08:002015-01-26T23:56:14.630-08:00“I love you, O Lord, my strength.” ~ Psalm 18:1I've been trying to write this post for about two weeks. I know what I want to write about. I've pulled together a list of quotes and verses that fit my theme. I've started to write several times and thought about writing even more times. But I keep stopping. Although I can't tell you for certain that I know the reasons for sure, it likely has to do with the fact that I want to talk about being brave. And I'm struggling to feel brave enough to talk about it. Crazy, but it makes sense, right?<br />
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I've lived most of my life pretty safely. I prefer to be liked, I like to please others, I don't like to cause drama or conflict, I try to be the good girl, I want to make everyone else happy. That's not to say I haven't made some brave choices. I knew God was calling me to go on the 10:10 mission trip and even though it was hugely outside my comfort zone, I went. I was brave that summer....brave enough to leave my family for 8 weeks, brave enough to be surrounded by 19 strangers, brave enough to sing and act in front of even more strangers again and again, brave enough to trust God in so many small and huge ways. <br />
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<i>"Sometimes you have to leave what you know to find out what you know." ~ Matthew McConaughey</i></div>
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I read this quote recently in an article about this actor and even though he isn't one I'd think of for wisdom this quote really resonated with me, especially in regards to my 10:10 summer. Prior to going on that summer mission, I thought I wanted to go away for college and I was pondering places like Hawaii, Chicago, Oregon, etc. I'm so incredibly grateful that I had those 8 weeks away which helped clarify for me that I am not meant to be far away from my family and friends. I truly had to leave what I knew to find out what I knew in my heart. <br />
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I feel like I'm still kind of shying away from writing about being brave. I live too much in fear...of what people might say, or do...or how it might affect how I'm perceived...or if it might cause conflict or drama. I don't really want to be like this. I know in my head that it's okay to have opinions and feelings and I should feel able to express them...but too many times I just don't. I defer to what others might want instead or pretend that I have no opinion when I really do. I know this isn't good and that my friends and family would prefer my honesty...and yet I still struggle. But I want to be brave. In big ways and little ways. In ways that matter and in ways that don't really matter to anyone. <br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>"I was a good girl and I wanted
to be a good girl, but it often kept me from saying what I really meant. In
fact, my desire to be good even kept me from exploring my own opinion, and I
grew up to believe that my opinion didn’t actually matter much anyway. I
avoided vulnerability for fear of being rejected or being labeled needy. Good
girls aren’t needy, they are needed. And so instead of living free, I lived
safe.” </i></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>~ Emily Freeman<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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I want to step outside of the mask I all too often hide behind. But again...fear creeps in. I know I shouldn't be afraid. I know that ultimately many little choices are not the huge life-changers I imagine them to be and usually people aren't nearly as concerned with my decisions as I think they are. It has a lot to do with my desire to avoid attention, and the fear that certain choices will bring unwanted attention and that scares me. <br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“I don’t know if you have ever
experienced the suffocating confinement of others’ expectations on your life,
but it is a very difficult burden to bear. Whether it is a woman shedding the
expectations of her parents to become a physician and answering the call to the
mission field…or a woman resisting expectations of traditional roles to attend
seminary and study theology…putting aside the expectations of others to do what
God calls you to do can be difficult.” ~ Sharon Jaynes</i></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“I was in trouble, so I called
to the LORD. The LORD answered me and set me free. I will not be afraid,
because the LORD is with me. People can’t do anything to me. The LORD is with
me to help me, so I will see my enemies defeated. It is better to trust the
LORD than to trust people. It is better to trust the LORD than to trust
princes.” ~ Psalm 118:5-9<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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But God has been working on this in me. I didn't see it at first because I thought it was about simply growing deeper in my relationship with Him. But I'm beginning to see that this journey He's had me on for the past few years is not only about deepening my knowledge and faith, but also about being brave. About saying what I think and believe, in spite of other people's opinions and what they might think of me. Standing up for what I believed wasn't about rebelling, but it caused certain people to see me as rebellious, as the "black sheep", as someone whose heart was in the wrong place. That wasn't true though! What I learned was that I was seeking God's desire for my life, for my heart...and standing firm in what I believed made me stronger in my faith and made me brave.<br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“Don’t be afraid, my people. Be
glad now and rejoice, for the LORD has done great things.” ~ Joel 2:21<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“Don’t worry. Lay your hand in
His hand. You will be safe, even if life today feels like crossing a bridge
without parapets over wild rushing water.” ~ Corrie ten Boom<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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I still struggle with that fear though. Fear about sharing what I've learned in this journey because some people might not understand or might judge me for the decisions I've made. I struggle sometimes with writing this blog and sharing my thoughts and feelings. I struggle with how real to be and how open about my journey I should be. I wonder who might read it and whether or not there might be repercussions. I can see God's work in my life and I can see His hand guiding this journey and I do trust deep in my heart that He is leading my path. And yet, the fear comes back time and again. <br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“One night before dinner, we
decided to ride on one of the horse-drawn carriages through Central Park. As
soon as I got into that carriage, the first thing I did was plop my heavy bag
onto the seat next to me. I never once considered keeping that bag strapped to
my shoulder for the ride. I never once thought of carrying the bag myself so
the horse wouldn’t have to. That would be a weird and crazy thing to do. <u>The amount of crazy it would take for a girl
on a carriage ride to keep the bag strapped to her shoulder is equal to the
amount of crazy I am when I refuse to trust the Lord to handle my worries</u>.”
~ Emily Freeman<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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In good moments, I know that trusting God is the key. I know that He is in control and that all will work out according to His plans. When I talk to others and give advice or prayers, it's so much easier to have faith for them. I have such faith when it comes to others and what I know God can and will do. I just have to remind myself that the same God who is able to provide for them, also provides for me and is always there. I know this...but my heart forgets all too easily. <br />
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<i>“Don’t be afraid, for you are very precious to God. Peace!
Be encouraged! Be strong!” ~ Daniel 10:19a<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“I’m proud of you for times you
wrestled with your problems and discovered how much that helped you to grow.” ~
Mister Rogers<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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Going through these past few years has been a struggle. I've really had to wrestle with what I believe and why I believe. I've had to stand up, stand out, and be willing to not be liked. I've had to grieve and cry and be angry. I've read a lot, studied a lot, prayed a lot, cried a lot, talked a lot. I've begun to see the world a little differently, see my life and my choices a little differently, and see God and the Bible and the church a little differently. I've made new friends, deepened relationships with other friends and lost some friends. I'm starting to see new opportunities and one of those is about trying to be brave. Trying to step outside my comfort zone and try new things, speak out about my opinions and realize that it's okay to share my thoughts and it doesn't have to be as big a deal as I might imagine it to be. <br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“God has not given us a spirit
of fear but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” ~ 2 Timothy 1:7<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<i><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">I'm
not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am
well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously
reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I
count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal,
where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. </span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">~ <span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">Philippians 3:12-14<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
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One of the ways I'm going to be brave this year is singing. My dear friend asked me to sing at her wedding. When she asked I was afraid...I don't like being in front of people. But I love my friend, and it meant so much to me to be asked to be a special part of her wedding so I said yes. Am I afraid to be in front of people, yes. But I know I can do this...she trusts me to do this, God has gifted me with a good voice that allows me to do this. I want to do this because it is a special gift I can provide for someone I love. But I have to be brave...and I know God will help me do this. <br />
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<i>“The Lord is my light and my salvation – whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life – of whom shall I be afraid?” ~ Psalm 27:1</i></div>
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I'm sure there will be other opportunities to be brave this year and in the future. I want to try to accept them with a sense of adventure and purpose, rather than a sense of fear and dread. I won't always succeed, but I want to try. It can even be little things. Like I was always afraid of jalapenos...thought they were too spicy and I avoided them. But in the past few months I discovered that I love them. Like really LOVE them! My new favorite pizza is pepperoni and jalapeno. It may seem silly and not that brave...but to me, it's one more step in making the brave choice. And it turned out so well since they are soooo delicious! <br />
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<i>As Your love, in wave after wave<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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Crashes over me, crashes over me<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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For You are for us<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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You are not against us<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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Champion of Heaven<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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You made a way for all to enter
in<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>You make me brave<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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You make me brave<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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You call me out beyond the shore
into the waves<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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You make me brave<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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You make me brave<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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No fear can hinder now the
promises you made<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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You make me brave<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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You make me brave<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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No fear can hinder now the love
that made a way<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><i>~
Amanda Cook, Bethel Music<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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My mentor Shauna shared this song on Facebook a few weeks ago. She too is wanting to be more brave (one more thing we have in common) and I told her it was meant for me as well. <span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">I
spend much more of my life being afraid than I should. While some fears can be
healthy, in general I tend to have more fears relating to fear of letting go,
fear of not being in control, fear of people's opinions, and fears of being rejected
or disliked. Those aren't healthy fears and while I don't expect to change
overnight, I want to make an effort to go outside my comfort zones and be
brave. This is scary, but I need to try and any encouragement would be VERY
appreciated.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><i>Dear heavenly Father, I want to be more brave and I feel You calling me to step out in faith. Please help me to trust You and depend on You and know that I don't have to fear the opinion of anyone. That all I need to do is focus my mind and thoughts and actions on You. Help me to be bold in my life and not be afraid to take chances that You place in my life. To try new things and not live my life in fear. Please give me wisdom to know the right choices to make, and the wisdom to know when it isn't that big a deal and there isn't just one right answer. Help me to be brave, and help me to have the kind of faith I have for others. Help me to be an encouragement and support to those people You place in my life and not do anything to hurt or discourage them. Continue to lead me along this journey You have for me and help me to be open to wherever You might lead. Thank You for loving us...I love you too. Amen.</i></span><br />
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Kerihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06599186443051980672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3399757744978134547.post-56144596453460747652015-01-07T16:28:00.001-08:002015-01-07T16:28:13.461-08:00“The LORD will fulfill His purpose for me.” ~ Psalm 138:8<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><i>“They
have been two terrible years – and yet I have a queer feeling of thankfulness
for them – as if they had brought me something very precious, with all their
pain. I wouldn’t want to go back and be the girl I was two years ago, not even
if I could. Not that I think I’ve made any wonderful progress…I suppose I had a
soul then…but I didn’t know it. I know it now – and that is worth a great deal
– worth all the suffering of the past two years. And still…I don’t want to
suffer any more – not even for the sake of more soul growth. At the end of two
more years I might look back and be thankful for the development they had
brought me, too; but I don’t want it now.” – L.M. Montgomery<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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Well, I finally finished reading the Anne of Green Gables series which was a goal from 2011. It took quite awhile because while I loved the books which were about Anne, I struggled a lot with the ones that focused on her children, with very little of the Anne and Gilbert I loved. The above quote is from the last book - <i>Rilla of Ingleside</i> - and it really resonated with me and the journey I've been on for the past two years. As I get older, the more I understand that the truly difficult things, the painful things, are the things that God uses to grow us in the biggest, most life-changing ways. And we wouldn't want to know in advance that we'd have to suffer through them, and we wouldn't choose to suffer through them again, yet we begin to understand that without those struggles we wouldn't be who we are - who God intended us to be. </div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><i>“We
say that we wish God would answer our prayers immediately, but I think that if
He did, we’d run the other way. We need the gift of time. We need the grace of
small steps.” ~ Robin Jones Gunn<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><i>“Small is how blessings, healing,
progress and increase occur.” </i></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><i>~ Anne Lamott</i></span></div>
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<i>“These things I plan [for your life] won’t happen right
away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be
fulfilled.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If it seems slow, wait
patiently, for it will surely take place.” ~ Habakkuk 2:3<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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This is the time of year when we think of new beginnings. And although we might think we want big changes, generally the way things happen is slowly, steadily, surely. Small choices, adjustments, changes - these things add up and eventually we see the end result of those small things. It takes time to adjust to new things, even good things, and I'm thankful that God usually allows us to gradually become accustomed to things. It may seem unfair or too slow at the time, but often looking back we see that it was at just the right speed and just the right time. We can't see the big picture, but God can.<br />
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<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“Above all, trust in the slow work of
God. We are quite naturally impatient in everything to reach the end without
delay. We should like to skip the intermediate stages. We are impatient of
being on the way to something unknown, something new…Only God could say what
this new spirit gradually forming within you will be. Give our Lord the benefit
of believing that his hand is leading you. And accept the anxiety of feeling
yourself in suspense and incomplete.”~ Pierre Teilhard de Chardin<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“Do not despise these small beginnings,
for the LORD rejoices to see the work begin.” ~ Zechariah 4:10<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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When I look back at the past two years, it seems like time flew by, but I know that in the midst of the struggles it felt like time slowed to a snail's pace. It takes time to learn and grow and change. We stumble and fall and have to get up and try again. On of the things I've been feeling lately is that finally the true emotional toll is beginning to hit me. There is a process of grief and healing to go through. At the beginning the anger and the desire for knowledge reigned in my mind and heart and it pushed me to read through my Bible, to tackle books about theology and to really wrestle with what I believed and why. That time was very important and I learned a lot and I'm very thankful for the opportunity, even if I wasn't thankful at the beginning. <br />
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<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>"The only possible way to have
full understanding of the teachings of Jesus is through the light of the Spirit
of God shining inside us. Once, the Bible was jus<span class="textexposedshow">t
so many words to us--'clouds and darkness'--then, suddenly, the words become
spirit and life because Jesus re-speaks them to us when our circumstances make
the words new." ~ Oswald Chambers<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<i><span class="textexposedshow"><span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></span><span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">"If you cannot express yourself
well on each of your beliefs, work and study until you can. Stir your own mind
thoroughly to think through what you have easily believed. Your position is not
really yours until you make it yours through suffering and study. Try to state
to yourself what you believe to be the absolute truth of God, and you will be
allowing God the opportunity to pass it on through you to someone else." </span></i></div>
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<i><span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><span class="textexposedshow">~ Oswald Chambers</span><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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Although it feels like I've spent my whole life believing in God and knowing a lot about the Bible, it truly was like Chambers says in the first quote "<i>from clouds and darkness to spirit and life</i>." I can't recall another point in my life where God's Word came to life so vividly and lovingly. That alone is something I cherish and appreciate deeply. And all along this time of struggle, I've felt like there was something more - something God wanted me to do with this knowledge. Partly, this blog has been part of it - like Chambers says in the second quote "<i>the opportunity to pass it on through [me] to someone else</i>." But, it feels like there might be something else, but I don't think I'm there yet. I think that there is still healing and recovery to come. I do trust God to carry me through, but I'm a little worried about what that might mean and how it might come about. <br />
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<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“Healing is messy and fluid and often
unpredictable. I can’t manufacture my own healing. It usually takes longer than
I think, runs deeper that I wished, and involves more areas of my life than I
ever imagined. But once I come though it on the other side, healing not only
offers the closure I thought I wanted, it comes with a wholeness, wellness, and
restoration that closure lacks.” ~ Emily Freeman<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“The God of all grace who called you to
his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will
himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.” ~ 1 Peter 5:10<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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I'll admit it. I'm scared to go back to church. I'm worried about finding a place to feel safe. I feel overwhelmed about the need to be aware of what's being said and to have to think about it and not just blindly trust. I feel like I can't ever go back to attending church the way I used to. It means more now and that worries me. Yet, I know God is in control. I know the church is important to Him - the church is His bride, His beloved. I know it is good to be in fellowship with other believers, I miss the time of worship and praise. I want it to be easy and I feel like it can't be easy any more. Maybe I'm wrong...I'd like to be wrong...I would love to be proven wrong. But I'm afraid to try. I know I shouldn't feel that way...but I do.<br />
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<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“’The only exercise that works 100
percent of the time to draw one close to the real God is risk…To risk is to
willingly place your life in the hand of an unseen God and an unknown future,
then to watch him come through. He starts to get real when you live like
that.’” ~ Jennie Allen<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“God can do anything, you know – far
more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He
does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply
and gently within us.” ~ Ephesians 3:20</i></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">But I have to try. I have to choose to have faith. I have to let God do what God wants to do in my life and not be afraid. I know that this journey is not over. I know there is more for me to learn. I know that I have to keep choosing each day to place my hand in God's and trust Him to carry me through. I know I'll sometimes let go and feel afraid again. But I want to choose to not give up, to take hold of His hand once again and daily trust Him. It's all I can do...it's all any of us can do. </span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“‘I trust God.’ …God, give us enough
faith for whatever the stories of our lives will hold, even on the worst of
days.” ~ Jennie Allen<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“’Not by might nor by power, but by my
Spirit,’ says the LORD Almighty.” ~ Zechariah 4:6<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“…it’s about the journey. It’s about
rediscovering the parts of yourself that you never ever knew about or dreamed
existed, and giving them room to grow and room to take flight…I do not fear
what my future holds…I am choosing to anticipate the next great provision,
whatever provision that may be.” ~ Heather George<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">God has a plan for me. I firmly believe that to be true. He will always be there. He will provide what I need - not necessarily what I want, but definitely what I need. I have seen Him provide in clear ways just recently. We got stuck in Cayucos last month when my car decided to stop working properly. At first, it seemed overwhelming to think we were stuck 5 hours from home - what are we supposed to do? But God provided in so many ways. We safely arrived at our vacation, we were "stuck" in our favorite place in the world, I had just begun a 2 week holiday from work and didn't need my car, we had family and friends ready and willing to come rescue us, and we had extra finances available. Thanks to a 16 hour drive by my Grandpa, we made it home safely with our car towed behind - traffic was terrible and doubled our driving time, but God consistently provided openings whenever we needed to change lanes, exit or enter the freeway and even at gas stations and restaurants for meals. We were able to enjoy Christmas and let the car sit and wait until after the holiday. Dad was able to find a transmission repair place that cost half as much as we'd been quoted in Cayucos and it was done within a week. Yes, Josh had to drive me to work and pick me up one work day, but his work schedule allows that anyways. My parents were able to cover the cost of the rebuilt transmission immediately and allow us to pay them back over the next few months - they had the space on a credit card, but God provided an extra check for just the amount needed unexpectedly. Isn't our God so amazing?!?</span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“Oh, dear friend, just because we don’t
hear an immediate response from God does not mean He is not listening. It does
not mean that He has rejected our request. It may simply mean that He just has
something else in mind or wants to take us to a deeper place of understanding.
He may be taking us to a place that is so good, our minds need the pause to
find it. What we do see and hear of God’s working is miniscule compared to the
magnificent workings we cannot see.” ~ Sharon Jaynes<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits,
and in His word I put my hope.” ~ Psalm 130:5<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"></span> </span><span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"> God is good...so incredibly good and I have to remember times like these for the times when He seems delayed or unresponsive. Although my head knows He sees the bigger picture that I cannot see, my heart tends to worry and stress and assume the worst. My mom has always said that is why it's so important to write down the ways God provides and read through those moments again and again and again...to remind ourselves that God provides, that God answers, that God isn't bored or lonely or disinterested or too busy or too annoyed or too anything. He's right there, knowing all, and waiting for us to simply trust Him. To rest in Him. To have faith that He is in control. That's why this year, we're going to keep a blessing jar again. We did this in 2013 and gave them as gifts to a few friends that Christmas. The idea being to write down blessings, beautiful things, moments to remember, joys, etc. and place them in the jar throughout the year. Then at the end of the year, you can read through them all and be reminded of the many wonderful things that happened - the things we often forget since our fragile humanness causes us to focus on the bad instead.</span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“Perhaps we ought not to pray for an
effortless life, but for God to give us the feet we need to traverse the life
he continually unfolds before us…Go to the places Jesus asks us to go, the
places the Shepherd leads us. Trust Him to provide on that journey and pray for
feet for that path.” </i></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>~ Christine Berghoef<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“Christ will make His home in your hearts
as you trust in Him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you
strong.” </i></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>~ Ephesians 3:17<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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My very favorite author (Robin Jones Gunn) has a new series of books that continues the story of some of her most beloved characters - Christy & Todd - now in the married years of their lives. The second book came out in the fall and is called <i>Home in Our Hearts</i> and the above verse was her core verse. The deeper lesson in the book focusing on trusting God in the midst of difficult situations which rock our lives and make us worried and stressed. I'm so incredibly blessed by her books and as I've read them through the years I've grown along with her characters. Each time I read them (and I reread all her books about every other year), I'm encouraged in my faith, find new insights to treasure and find myself even more grateful for the wonderful loving God we serve. Other than my parents and my own study of the Bible, her books have probably made the longest and largest impact in my faith and so I am so thankful for her love of the Lord and so grateful for her willingness to write these books and continuing to write more! </div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“…your relationship with God grows
uniquely in the soil that is your journey through life. Jesus meets you at
places that are meaningful to you; he speaks to you as an individual, and he
grows his influence in you in unique ways. You aren’t defined by anyone else’s
map of the Christian life, even if those maps might be helpful in some ways.” </i></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>~ </i></span><span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>Michael Spencer<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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In this new year, I'm thankful that God is big enough to love us each individually and completely. He relates to each of us in unique ways and cares enough to build a relationship with each one of us. He isn't just one-size-fits-all in the ways He speaks to us and relates to us...He loves us unconditionally and fully and desires an intimate relationship built on trust and faith. He is gentle enough to allow us small steps, incremental changes, and tiny leaps of faith. He is kind enough to forgive again and again and again. He is wise enough to know everything, yet not overwhelm us with everything all at once. I hope that in this new year we can all grow closer to God and trust Him further and longer, obey Him more often, and love Him more and more each day.<br />
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<i>Dear heavenly Father, thank You for loving us, especially for seeing us and loving us individually and unconditionally. You always give us more than we could ask or imagine - more colors, more flavors, more kindness, more grace, more love. Help us to be reminded of all those blessings especially in the times when we feel overwhelmed or forgotten or lost. Thank You for having a purpose for my life, for all our lives. Help us to trust You and remember that "our times are in Your hands." Help us to be bold in our faith and step out of our comfort zones. Help us to remember that even if we fail, we can try again. Thank You for loving us so much...I love you too. Amen.</i><br />
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Kerihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06599186443051980672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3399757744978134547.post-1899668925886141952014-12-06T11:01:00.001-08:002014-12-06T11:01:45.567-08:00“He will come to us like rain.” ~ Hosea 6:3 <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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About six months ago, I was looking for a verse to paint on canvas for some very dear friends who were moving up to northern California. I felt very drawn to this verse in Hosea, but it just wasn't right for the gift I was making and I ended up using Psalm 31:14-15 for their present. Ever since then, I have wanted to paint something with this verse. I didn't know exactly what I wanted to paint and I couldn't really express why I was drawn to this verse, but something about it just spoke deeply to my heart.<br />
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This past Sunday, my book club got together for an off-shoot get-together we're calling Art Society. Basically a time to get together and paint/draw/sketch/be artistic every month or so. I also invited my best friend and we met at my house on a lovely cold rainy day. We each had our own projects and I decided to finally attempt this Hosea verse. I knew I wanted it to be reminiscent of rain, but wasn't sure how to go about it. I typically like to paint landscapes and so the idea of doing something abstract was intimidating and definitely out of my comfort zone. I decided to read a small booklet that came with my watercolor paint set and read about a technique where you sprinkle salt onto damp watercolors and it absorbs some of the water and makes a cool look - it worked perfectly for reproducing the look of raindrops! <br />
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Two days ago, one of my Art Society friends asked me what this verse meant and at first I just wanted to say that I didn't know except that it spoke to my heart. But I decided to look up the whole verse and this is what I found:<br />
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<i><span class="text">“Let us acknowledge the </span><span class="small-caps"><span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span></span><span class="text">;</span> let us press on to acknowledge him. As surely as the sun
rises, he will appear; he will come to us like the winter rains, <span class="text">like the spring rains that water the earth.” ~ Hosea 6:3 (NIV)<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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I really liked what the whole verse had to say but I like it even better in The Message translation:<br />
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<i><span class="text">“We’re ready to study </span><span class="small-caps"><span style="font-variant: small-caps;">God</span></span><span class="text">,</span> <span class="text">eager for God-knowledge.</span> <span class="text">As sure as dawn breaks,</span> <span class="text">so sure is his daily
arrival.</span> <span class="text">He comes as rain comes,</span> <span class="text">as spring rain refreshing the ground.” ~ Hosea 6:3 (MSG)</span></i></div>
<span class="text"></span><br />
<span class="text"></span><br />
<span class="text">Immediately I was struck by the idea that this verse sums up much of what I've been going through these past years - seeking God and His wisdom and finding that He was there all along, full of grace and ready to pour into my life the refreshing rain of His love. And what a God-thing that I finally painted this on the day it started raining!</span><br />
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<span class="text"><i>“Wherever Jesus may lead us, He goes before us. If we know
not where we go, we know with whom we go. With such a companion, who will dread
the perils of the road? The journey may be long, but His everlasting arms will
carry us to the end. The presence of Jesus is the assurance of eternal
salvation, because He lives, we shall live also.” </i></span></div>
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<i>~ Charles Spurgeon</i><br />
<i><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"></b></i><br />
<i><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"></b></i><br />
<i><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></i></div>
</span><br />
<span class="text"> Thursday, I spent the afternoon with my mom for our monthly chiropractor appointments and her monthly massage. We always spend lots of time talking since we have to drive a fair distance and we ended up in some deep discussion about faith, prison, Bill Cosby, the Bible, feeling convicted about things, rain, house issues, grief, being hurt...pretty much everything. At the end of our conversation we were both crying and I thanked my mom for always being such a strong encouragement, support and blessing in my life and for being such a good example of what it means to depend daily on God. She had so much wisdom for me and reminded me that this experience, like life, is a journey and the most important part is to keep trusting God and drawing closer to Him.<br />
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<span class="text"><i>“It’s good to talk about things that make you feel
uncomfortable. Getting them out gives you a lot of freedom. It allows you to
move around inside your life and get comfortable.” ~ Robin Jones Gunn<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<span class="text">
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I have a lot of things I'm still processing. Fears about comparing my experiences to others and finding that mine aren't "enough" or that my experience of spiritual abuse wasn't "that bad." But isn't any experience of abuse bad simply because it is abuse? It can seem easier to hide what happened and not talk about it because it's uncomfortable, it means being vulnerable, it means exposing yourself to the opinions of others and allowing yourself to be hurt again. But unless you work through those things, unless you talk about what happened, unless you take the time to give it to God and allow yourself to heal with His help then nothing will ever get better. Everything will eventually come out, nothing stays hidden forever, and isn't it better to choose to go through the process rather than be suddenly forced to do so because you can no longer keep it hidden?<br />
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I'm still struggling with that. As my mom said, I'm going through the grief process. For the most part, the anger is gone. The fierce desire to know the truth. The need to be upset and express that. I'm starting to feel more recently the sense of loss and hurt - I guess the deep emotional effect of everything that happened. The need to know what God's Word said was a strong motivator and it carried me through the past year or so and that has been a very good thing. <br />
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<i>“It’s the hard things that God really uses. The things we
hate going through, the things that push us to our limits. When we look back,
we may never want to go through the pain again, but we’re grateful for the
results.” ~ Jeri Odell<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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I am so incredibly grateful for the many ways God has poured His rain (or His reign? ;) into my life and while I'm certainly glad to not have to experience this again, I am glad that God brought me through this time for this reason. I would not trade for anything in the world the deep peace and encouragement and love I feel for the Bible and for God because of this experience. I can actually say I am thankful I went through it because this result was worth it. This verse almost perfectly captures what I've felt:<br />
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<i>“Your words were found, and I ate them, and Your word was to
me the joy and rejoicing of my heart; for I am called by Your name, O Lord God
of hosts.” ~ Jeremiah 15:16<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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God is so good. Even when we don't deserve it. Not because we do deserve it. God is good because He is love and because He is God. I am confident of one thing - God loves me and I love Him. I mess up, I'm broken, I've been hurt and I've been the one who hurt others, I will fail often, I will succeed sometimes, but through it all God is present, He is able, He is dependable, He loves us, oh how very much He loves us. And I am grateful.<br />
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<i>“Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior
Jesus Christ.” ~ 2 Peter 3:18<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>Dear heavenly Father, thank You for loving me even though I am quite unlovable. Thank You for allowing me the opportunity to go through this difficult experience so that I could come to grow in the grace and knowledge of Your Son Jesus. Thank You for the gift of Your Son. Thank You for the gift of Your Holy Spirit who dwells in us. Thank You for coming to me like rain - when I felt parched and dry and empty. Thank You for filling my mind and my heart with the glad joy of Your love for me. Thank You for drenching me in Your Word and for all the ways You've shown us again and again and again how much You love us and want to be in relationship with us. Help me to always seek You, help me to continue to grow in grace and knowledge, help me in this lifelong process of getting to know and love You. Thank You for loving me. I love you too. Amen.</i><br />
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Kerihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06599186443051980672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3399757744978134547.post-12602901307124606732014-11-28T11:32:00.001-08:002014-11-28T11:32:36.529-08:00Thanksgiving - week 4 - "O Lord my God, I will give you thanks for ever.” ~ Psalm 30:12<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">Thanksgiving Thankfulness</span></i></b></div>
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23 - <b>Cooking</b><br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“This is my invariable advice to people: Learn how to cook –
try new recipes, learn from your mistakes, be fearless, and above all have
fun!” </i></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>~ Julia Child<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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I am so thankful for the blessing of food, the fun of cooking and the joy of providing a good meal for others. I am thankful that I have plenty and mindful of the fact that many have not enough. As a child, I loved playing "chef" outside with my sister. We would make mud pies, collect "paprika" and other ingredients from the various trees, shrubs and plants around our backyard, and proudly serve our meals. I liked to help cook for real, and probably around grade school I started making a pie at Thanksgiving - usually dirt pie (pudding/Cool Whip/Oreo crumbs) and later chocolate chip pie. I remember the first meal I made for my family in high school - chicken cattiatore with pasta, salad and bread served outside on our patio. As an adult, I've spent countless hours reading cooking blogs and cookbooks, watching Food Network, and creating hundreds (maybe even thousands?) of meals for my family and friends. I get so much pleasure from the whole experience - finding recipes, making a meal plan, grocery shopping, prepping, cooking, setting the table, serving and even clearing and doing the dishes. I am so thankful for the joy of cooking.<br />
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24 - <b>Drama/Passion</b> (in fiction, not real life)<br />
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<span style="color: #333333; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><i>“WHY
did you betray your own heart, Cathy? I have not one word of comfort. You
deserve this. You have killed yourself. Yes, you may kiss me, and cry; and
wring out my kisses and tears: they'll blight you - they'll damn you. You loved
me - then what RIGHT had you to leave me? What right - answer me - for the poor
fancy you felt for Linton? Because misery and degradation, and death, and
nothing that God or Satan could inflict would have parted us, YOU, of your own
will, did it. I have not broken your heart - YOU have broken it; and in
breaking it, you have broken mine.” ~ Emily Bronte<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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Oh the drama and passion of Wuthering Heights! I love it! It's not for everyone, and I totally get why some might find it annoying and unrealistic and even damaging in some ways. But I love it and am so thankful for the opportunity to experience the highs and lows of emotional drama through the pages of a book, a well-written movie, or even a simple TV show. I suppose I enjoy the ability to live vicariously through fictional characters - to imagine how they feel, why they choose to act and react in certain ways, and to know that I don't have to make their same choices but can enjoy them all the same. This is why I'm drawn to soap operas, emotional TV dramas, romantic comedies, YA novels about love and loss and betrayal, classic literature full of heavy drama and not always satisfactory resolutions. However, as much as I love this drama/passion in fiction, it is not my favorite in real life. But I'm thankful for the many ways I can appreciate it in small, manageable doses.<br />
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25 - <b>Cats</b><br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“I love them, they are so nice and selfish. Dogs are TOO
good and unselfish. They make me feel uncomfortable. But cats are gloriously
human.” ~ L.M. Montgomery<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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I love my cats and am so thankful for them every day. We have three of them - an all-black 8-year old male named Cyrano de Bergerac, and two all-white 5-year old female sisters named Talia and Marilyn Monroe. They get along pretty well most of the time and are often found snuggling together. Cyrano can be mean at times and doesn't like most people, however, he LOVES Josh. He seeks him out for lots of love and attention and likes to sleep on his chest and purr very loudly. Talia is very loving and especially like to snuggle high on my chest with her face buried on the right side of my neck. She is also very timid and scares easily, but she's loving and her purr is very very quiet. Marilyn is the most fearless, the most friendly and the most snuggly and she is also deaf. She loves to play, sleeps with me every night (and often likes to be under the blankets), loves chasing shadows and purrs pretty loudly and snores/grunts/breathes loudly when sleeping. We love our cats and are so thankful every day for their unique personalities, loving snuggles and special presence in our lives. <br />
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26 - <b>Difficult Experiences</b><br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>"Maintain your personal relationship with God at all
costs. Never allow anything to come between your soul and God, and welcome
anyone or anything that leads you to know Him better." ~ Oswald Chambers<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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Now, of course there is part of me that doesn't like difficult experiences. Who really loves them after all? They are difficult and not something I enjoy going through. However, as I get older the more I realize that the difficult experiences in life are the ones that tend to draw me closer to God, create in me a deeper faith and looking back I can see that without those difficult experiences I would not see the changes in me that were obviously part of God's plan. So although they aren't fun to go through, I'm deliberately choosing to be thankful for them and look forward to the opportunity to trust God more and lean further into His more than capable hands because the end result is worth it.<br />
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27 - <b>Art</b><br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“We don’t make mistakes, just happy little accidents.” ~ Bob
Ross<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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I have always loved being creative and as a kid (and adult) I've especially loved coloring and making collages. In junior high and high school, I loved taking art class and am so thankful especially for my high school art teacher Sheri Izzi. She is so funny, talented, encouraging, inspiring and still a daily blessing in my life. Whenever I see beautiful clouds, I can hear her asking me to describe what colors they are and how surprising it is to realize they are often a lavender gray or have a yellowish tinge. She helped me learn to paint beautiful things and to look at things from a different perspective and that everyone sees things little bit differently. I am thankful for the opportunity to teach my niece art when she was in second grade. I'm thankful for artists like Bob Ross who make it look easy to paint and remind us that mistakes are just opportunities to do things a little differently. Art is a blessing and I'm so thankful for the joy I find in it. <br />
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28 - <b>Being an Auntie</b><br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“The soul is healed by being with children.” ~ Fyodor
Dostoyevsky<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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One of the great joys in my life is being an auntie. I have the blessing and privilege of being an auntie by relation and an auntie by friendship to many wonderful children. I love their laughter, their joy in simple pleasures, the ways they learn and grow, and the opportunity to be part of their lives. I have been blessed to have many wonderful aunties both by relation and by friendship and their presence in my life has helped to make me who I am as well as the kind of auntie I choose to be. I love to send cards with stickers to my nieces and nephews - to remind them that they are loved and special - and to remind them of how much God loves them as well. I'm okay with not having my own children, partly because of the joy I receive from the many nieces and nephews that God has placed in my life to love. I'm thankful for them every day. <br />
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29 - <b>Libraries</b><br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“I like libraries. It makes me feel comfortable and secure
to have walls of words, beautiful and wise, all around me. I always feel better
when I can see that there is something to hold back the shadows.” ~ Roger
Zelazny<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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Libraries make me happy. I'm so thankful for libraries - for the books they offer, for the silence and peace inside them, for their openness to all. I'm thankful for the blessing of being able to work in a library. I love my job - being surrounded by books all day, my wonderful coworkers, the beauty of our campus, the quiet, the patrons - really I love all of it. Libraries have been an important part of my life and I am so thankful for them.<br />
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30 - <b>Grace</b><br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“Unprovoked by any act on my part, God gives me breath. He
opens his hand and gives and gives and gives. I don’t control his faithfulness.
I don’t initiate his mercy. I can do nothing to earn his kindness. I don’t
deserve his gifts. The truth is, I am
powerless to stop his love for me. I did nothing to activate his goodness
toward me. I am incapable of deflecting the endless showers of blessings that
come from his store-houses and rain over my life. It’s all grace. Grace upon
grace. God’s extravagant grace. Indeed, I am a victim of grace. And so are
you.” </i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>~ Robin Jones Gunn<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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More than anything, more than everything listed and not listed over the past four weeks, I am so incredibly thankful for God's love and grace. I feel like I have always loved God and been thankful for His grace, but in the last few years it has become even more vibrant, even more real, even more vital to my daily life and so much more appreciated. God doesn't have to love us, yet He does. He didn't have to be so full of grace, yet He chooses to be. He doesn't have to be in relationship with us, in all our mess and drama, yet He wants to be and He loves us. Oh, how He loves us. I am so thankful that He does...thank You, thank You, thank You.<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><i>“Thanks be to God for
his indescribable gift!” ~ 2 Corinthians 9:15</i></span></div>
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</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><i>“Enter his gates with
thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his
name. For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness
continues through all generations.” </i></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><i>~ Psalm 100:4-5</i></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><i>Dear heavenly Father, thank You so much for Your wonderful gifts and blessings in my life. Thank You for all the things I have to be grateful for and help me to remember that there is always, always, always something to be thankful for. Thank You for making Yourself real to me, and help those who don't know You to be able to see how much You love them and to seek out a relationship with You. Help me to be a light in the world for You and help me to reach out to those in need. Make my heart open to Your leading and willing to submit to Your desires. Thank You for loving us...I love you too. Amen.</i></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></span></div>
Kerihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06599186443051980672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3399757744978134547.post-87839880514369261902014-11-22T09:32:00.001-08:002014-11-22T09:32:17.307-08:00Thanksgiving - week 3 - "...overflowing with thankfulness.” ~ Colossians 2:7<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">Thanksgiving Thankfulness</span></i></b></div>
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16 - <b>Mister Rogers</b><br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“Each person in the world is a unique human being, and each
has unique human potential. One of the most important tasks of growing is the
discovery of this uniqueness: the discovery of ‘who I am’ in each of us – of ‘who
I am’ in relation to all those whom I meet.” </i></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>~ Mister Rogers<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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I have always loved Mister Rogers and I am very grateful for him. As a child, I loved watching his show, especially when they went to the Neighborhood of Make-Believe. As an adult, I've loved his wisdom, his slow speech and gentle kindness on the show, and the feeling of welcomeness and love that is infused in his way of speaking and talking to his audience of children (and adults). Through the memoir, <i>I'm Proud of You</i> by Tim Madigan, who shared correspondence and friendship with him for many years, I also came to know about Mister Roger's many years of friendship and correspondence with the writer Henri Nouwen, whom I've come to love and admire. I am thankful that Fred Rogers loved God, loved children, and loved people and that he was willing to make the sacrifices necessary to provide a lifetime of encouragement, affection and wisdom through the simple beauty of his show and his life. <br />
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17 - <b>Language</b><br />
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<i><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">“I lo</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">ve how the French language
distinguishes the word “to know.” There is “savoir,” which is the
information-kind of know. I know how to ride a bike. I know how to do
algebra. But they never use “savoir” to describe a person, because people
are not facts to be known. People cannot be read like books. The French
use “connaître,” a to-be-familiar-with kind of know. I know of this
person. I am ever-growing-in-knowing this person. But I don’t
information-know them. People are deep and nuanced and ever-changing,
every-minute, affected from without and within, like rivers. We can never
know them, we can only keep getting to know them.” ~ Kate Conner<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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I am thankful for words and language. Obviously, we all know I love quotes. I love the ability of words to express beautiful thoughts, lovely phrases, or even troubling questions. I've always been drawn to words and have loved reading my whole life. It amazes me to see how authors can create whole novels full of worlds and characters and thoughts and dreams. Language is an incredible gift and I'm thankful for the many ways it touches and impacts my life and world.<br />
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18 - <b>Mentors</b><br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“The ancient Irish, in fact, had a word for someone who acts
as a spiritual mentor in a relationship of great depth. The word is anamchara, ‘soul friend,’ someone who
joyfully embraces our life, questions and suffering as an extension of his or
her own; someone with whom we can speak the language of the heart; someone, as
Augustine defines true friendship, one’s soul cannot be without.” ~ Edward
Sellner<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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I am so thankful for my mentors - both people who I can talk to and spend time with in real life and those whose words have deepened my faith and I will not get to meet until heaven. Marcus & Shauna have been spiritual mentors of mine for many years. I look to them as a sort of spiritual older siblings I suppose and I know that they are always there for me ready to listen, pray, offer wisdom and encouragement and always there to support me in my faith and life. I am incredibly blessed by them and love them very much. In the theological study I've been through in the past couple years, I was introduced to many spiritual mentors who have encouraged me, deepened my faith and helped me to seek God's Word through their writings. Men and women who are willing to share their faith, in both good times and bad, and be real with what they've learned about God. I've been especially blessed by the writings of Henri Nouwen who I feel closely bonded with in personality and struggles and his words of hope, doubt and ultimately faith and trust have encouraged me immensely. In a book, I heard about this South African word <i><b>ubuntu</b></i> which means "I am because we are" and this word sums up a lot of what I feel about my spiritual mentors. <br />
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19 - <b>Scripture</b><br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>"Scripture is a never-failing treasury filled with
boundless stores of grace. In the depths of tribulations let this freedom
comfort you; amidst waves of distress let it cheer you; when sorrows surround
thee let it be thy solace. This is thy Father's love-token; thou art free to it
at all times…Thou art free to all that is treasured up in Christ—wisdom,
righteousness, sanctification, and redemption. It matters not what thy need is,
for there is fulness of supply in Christ, and it is there for thee. O what a
"freedom" is thine! Freedom from condemnation, freedom to the
promises, freedom to the throne of grace, and at last freedom to enter
heaven!" </i></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>~ C.H. Spurgeon<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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While I have always appreciated the Bible and have believed it to be God's Word and even memorized many verses - it wasn't until these past few years that I feel like I truly developed a love for Scripture. During this time, I have felt amazed, overwhelmed, encouraged, convicted, and blessed beyond measure with the blessing of being able to read this gift from God. So many things were new to me (like the minor prophets and some of the historical books), even more things felt fresh and brand-new to me (like Psalms and Romans) and all of it became something I looked forward to reading and constantly wanted to remember and write down or underline. I am so thankful for the ability to read and know God more intimately through His Word and I am also grateful to not just read it, but also love it and want to read it. <br />
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20 - <b>Quotations</b><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><i>“The
invitation to Miss Myra St. Claire's bobbing party spent the morning in his
coat pocket, where it had an intense physical affair with a dusty piece of
peanut brittle.” ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Isn't that a fun sentence? So descriptive and detailed - it makes me smile and picture it in my mind. Sentences like that are part of what make me love quotations. Once, while watching the film <i>Batman Begins</i>, I was so taken by a sentence near the beginning that I spent the rest of the movie repeating it to myself so that I could write it down and remember it. (Here's the quote, in case you wanted to know - <i>"</i></span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-size: x-small;">Criminals thrive on the indulgence of society's understanding</span>"</i> - doesn't that just make you think?). </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">Ever since I can remember I've been drawn to quotes and have many scraps of paper and notebooks full of quotes written down. I love quotes and the way they make me stop and think and ponder, feel encouraged or feel upset, or just seem to perfectly capture something I've always thought but was never able to put into the right words.</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">21 - <b>Hospitality</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><i>“There is something so nourishing about sharing your living
space with people where they see your junk mail pile…and pile of shoes by the
front door. Opening your home says, ‘You are welcome in my real life.’ This square
footage is where we laugh…and make homemade corndogs and work through
meltdowns…This is the toilet paper we prefer. There are the pictures we frame,
the books we’re reading, the projects we’re undertaking – the raw material of
our family. It’s unsanitized and truthful. We invite you into this intimate
place, saturated with our family character.” ~ Jen Hatmaker<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></span></div>
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I'm not sure if hospitality is the right word, but it's the closest I could figure out. I am thankful for hospitality - when it's offered to me and my family, and when I have the opportunity to offer it to others. I believe that it is one of the spiritual gifts I have been given and I consider it a special privilege to open my home to others and try to make them feel welcome and accepted. On the flip side, I love those people who open their homes to me and make me feel welcome and at home - who aren't afraid to let me see the pile of laundry in the living room because everything they own is dirty, who still have dinner cooking in the oven an hour after we arrive, who might have a home that looks like a magazine but encourage us to sit on the furniture, relax and feel at home and we actually do because they make us feel like family. You have to be vulnerable to do these kinds of things, but to be able to be vulnerable and then feel that acceptance and love - that is precious and I'm so thankful.<br />
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22 - <b>YA Novels</b><br />
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<i>“When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty, I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.” <br />~ C.S. Lewis</i></div>
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I love books in general, but I do have special affection for YA (young adult) novels. Sometimes, as an adult, I feel a little self-conscious about my deep love for these adolescent tales, but ultimately I try to remind myself that all reading is good and there is nothing to be embarrassed about. And so many YA novels capture the feelings and experiences that we can all relate to. My dad often has said that he still feels young inside and as I grow older, I realize how true that is. I may be 35 on the outside, but on the inside I often feel like a young adult still learning and experiencing life. These books help me to feel empathy, to imagine life in ways I've never experienced it, to sort through challenging life experiences, and sometimes to enjoy that I'm not a young adult anymore...but mostly they are just simply something I enjoy reading. I'm thankful for these books...and if you're interested, I can share some of my favorite titles and authors. :)<br />
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<i>“Give thanks to the Lord, call on his name; make known among the nations
what he has done. Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful
acts.” ~ Psalm 105:1-2<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>Dear heavenly Father, thank You for the many wonderful people and things in this world You've created. Thank You for the special people You've placed in my life to love and encourage me in my faith. Thank You for creating language and allowing us the ability to use it in so many ways. Thank You for Your wonderful Word, the Bible. For the many ways it helps us to come to know and love You and see Your plan for our lives and for the world. Thank You for the gift of hospitality - for the ability to be accepted with it and for the ability to use it to bless others. Help me to be open to Your leading and to allow You to work through me to bless others. Thank You for loving us so much...I love you too. Amen.</i>Kerihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06599186443051980672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3399757744978134547.post-26653535336465980192014-11-15T12:22:00.001-08:002014-11-15T12:22:35.702-08:00Thanksgiving - week 2 - "Oh, give thanks to the LORD, for He is good!" ~ Psalm 118:29<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">Thanksgiving Thankfulness</span></i></b></div>
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8 - <b>Friendship</b><br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe
with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring
them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a
faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a
breath of kindness blow the rest away.” ~Dinah Craik<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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Sometimes I feel excessively blessed with friends. I am grateful for each and every one of these friends and the wonderful treasures that each one brings to my life. There are a few special ones who have truly encouraged and supported me with their unconditional love. These friends have become more like family than friends and their presence in my life is worth far more than I could ever hope to express. These are the ones who I feel secure enough to be vulnerable with, the ones who can read my heart, the ones who see who I really am and love me dearly. And I am incredibly grateful and blessed to have them. <br />
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9 - <b>Home</b><br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“Ah! There is nothing like staying at home, for real comfort.”
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>~ Jane Austen<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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While I am very thankful that we own a home and all the benefits that come along with that, in this case I am thanking God for the wonder of a relaxing in the comfort of home. We love to have company over and frequently invite friends and family into our home. But, we just as much love to have a night in all to ourselves. And I personally love the nights I have to myself when Josh has to work. I love the comfy, cozy feel of our home - our recliners, the kid's artwork gallery on the living room wall, the love seat in the dining room under the one ceiling fan, family and friend photos covering the walls of the hall and stairway, our super comfortable and lovely bed, etc. It is lovely to be at home especially on a rainy cold day - we like to have the windows open, the door open with the screen closed, wrapped up in warm blankets with a cup of hot chocolate and a good book to read - heavenly! We have a tradition we call Pajama Day when we stay in, wear our pajamas, eat yummy food, and watch TV, play games, read or nap all day long. It's so wonderful to be home together, doing "nothing" - you should do it too!<br />
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10 - <b>Family</b><br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“You don't choose your family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are God's gift to you, </i></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>as you are to
them.” ~ Desmond Tutu<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEis_tK0bRfssTPdeJ5wETJMxen75Yf9ZlwCNTbxfmmT8c_KbEvEYPaNX89s84kGS2H5KhDuhlMDYYUkI7J5WnjZtqyxJ7miD-dOqfnU-bcmu3qsjFICTKw-CI8g2M8XZZ0b0I1llvK60VK5/s1600/42-silly.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEis_tK0bRfssTPdeJ5wETJMxen75Yf9ZlwCNTbxfmmT8c_KbEvEYPaNX89s84kGS2H5KhDuhlMDYYUkI7J5WnjZtqyxJ7miD-dOqfnU-bcmu3qsjFICTKw-CI8g2M8XZZ0b0I1llvK60VK5/s1600/42-silly.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
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I am so thankful for my family. I have wonderful parents who have been such a daily example of what it means to love God, love people and have faith, even in (actually especially in) times of trouble. They make me laugh, they love me unconditionally, they are always available to listen and give advice or assistance, and they are the BEST parents in the world! I am thankful for my grandparents, my aunts and uncles and all of my cousins. I don't get to see all of them as often as we might like, but I know they are there and that they love me and that means the world. I am thankful for my in-laws - for their love and support and for all our wonderful nieces and nephews! I am thankful for the friends who have become family - the Palmer family, the Watties family, our Beloved Duncan/Bekkedahl/O'Brien family and many others. You are all truly a gift and I am so thankful. <span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><i>“I thank God every
time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy.”</i> ~ Philippians 1:3-4</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">11 - <b>Reading</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“The art of reading is in great part that of acquiring a
better understanding of life from one's encounter with it in a book.”
</i></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>~André Maurois<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
</span><br />
Oh, how I love books!!! Books make me so happy and I'm thankful that every day in one way or another I get to be around books. Reading is such a wonderful pleasure and I'm so grateful for parents who love reading and shared that love with me and my sister. I'm thankful for my kindergarten teacher Mrs. Overholt who taught me to read and allowed me the ability to come home and teach my 3-year old sister how to read. I am thankful that my Dad took my sister & I to the library every other Saturday so that we could borrow books and we often came home with the maximum of 20 books which caused us to arise extra early on Sunday mornings to start reading our new books! I am thankful to have a husband who enjoys reading as much as I do. I am incredibly blessed and grateful to work in a library where I get to be surrounded by books and have access to new and exciting books to read. I'm thankful for libraries, bookstores, Amazon.com, my aunt Annette who frequently send boxes of books to share, friends who loan me books, and any and all ways I can get my hands on a new treasure to read. I'm thankful for the things I've learned through books - new ideas, the ability to have empathy for others, fascinating adventures to places I might hope to visit or never want to go but am still glad to read about, wonderful characters, treasured stories and wise truths about life and love and friends and God. Reading is a pleasure and a gift that I am soooooo thankful for!<br />
<br />
12 - <b>My husband Joshua</b><br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“…when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life
with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” </i></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>~
When Harry Met Sally<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBA8Qj9-y4rKgVNl_ddGB19AoOPYFHlV63TaMWZmaE1mT9oN3td1xjBRJMV48DtlIrJta1KYQdjR2fr3XPTC4PPBSg2z5G31ucUT8d-3rQ-CpNoh8pDP9BI-L-nkI-Dr1mPns5XGZWBkzN/s1600/wedding.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBA8Qj9-y4rKgVNl_ddGB19AoOPYFHlV63TaMWZmaE1mT9oN3td1xjBRJMV48DtlIrJta1KYQdjR2fr3XPTC4PPBSg2z5G31ucUT8d-3rQ-CpNoh8pDP9BI-L-nkI-Dr1mPns5XGZWBkzN/s1600/wedding.jpg" height="320" width="215" /></a></div>
<br />
My husband is such a blessing to me and I am thankful every day for him. I'm thankful to Match.com and the way he was brought into my life (...although I definitely know it was actually God using Match.com). I am thankful for his humor and silliness, his ease in interacting with all people, his amazing hugs and even better kisses. I love the way he takes care of me when I'm sick - making sure I have what I need, reading to me to help me fall asleep, rubbing my feet or legs or stomach when they hurt, and just making me feel taken care of and loved. I love his joy for his many interests and the way his eyes crinkle when he's really happy and smiling. I am thankful to have a husband who loves me, listens to me, supports me and encourages me. He is a gift that I am thankful for always. <br />
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13 - <b>Theology = "knowing God"</b><br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“I think I’ve been depending too much on others to study the
Scriptures for me and to pass on their wisdom to me.” ~ Robin Jones Gunn<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<br />
<br />
I was never interested in theology as I understood it - deep, dry, boring study of huge Biblical study books. I thought it was too difficult, too hard to get into and ultimately something I didn't need in my life. But I was wrong. Through experiences I didn't want to go through, I was drawn into the study of theology and learned something pretty cool. Theology just means the study of God. And I already knew I loved God and knew a lot about Him. I've learned much more on this journey of theological study and one of the most important things I discovered was the importance of knowing God for yourself. Not because of your parents, your friends or even simply your pastor. It's necessary to know God through an intimate, ever-growing, personal relationship with God and that begins with accepting the death and resurrection gift of His Son Jesus, and then develops by reading His Word the Bible, praying and talking to Him and then being quiet and listening for His leading. I didn't want to go through the experiences and struggles I've been through, but I also know that I would not have come to the beauty and depth of my relationship with God without the struggles that drew me closer to Him. And for that, I am eternally thankful.<br />
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14 - <b>My sister Kelly</b><br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“It's hard to be responsible, adult and sensible all the
time. How good it is to have a sister whose heart is as young as your own.” ~
Pam Brown<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhixNVoqZNm3oZgwW08YBOulePPW4_AleaRmfFoXroxHHHVC33OZIL3mWyRSZFNCDZTf7gYksFlswM6wzAaiyPgQhYbf-T75i1GU6quIjYYaUmMgd0DjQDDmZ5rA9dQzB5srzJwLJQpqF-b/s1600/kelly-kids.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhixNVoqZNm3oZgwW08YBOulePPW4_AleaRmfFoXroxHHHVC33OZIL3mWyRSZFNCDZTf7gYksFlswM6wzAaiyPgQhYbf-T75i1GU6quIjYYaUmMgd0DjQDDmZ5rA9dQzB5srzJwLJQpqF-b/s1600/kelly-kids.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Although we have had our moments over the years of not getting along, we've never had a falling out or lost any length of time to hurt feelings or anger or anything. We are very different people who look at, think about and experience things in sometimes opposing ways. However, no matter what might happen or however vehemently we might disagree, I am incredibly grateful to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my sister loves me and will support me and always has my back. She makes me laugh, she only good-naturedly makes fun of me when I cry, she always wants to spend time with me, she always has a place for me, and through her I have an incredible niece and nephew whom I love dearly. I am thankful for her deep love for God, and I am encouraged by her desire to know and love Him more and more. I love our fun times watching <i>Parks and Rec</i> or silly videos online, I love our serious times of deep discussion, and all the time, I deeply love my sister and I am so thankful for her presence in my life. <br />
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15 - <b>Restaurants</b><br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“It's so beautifully arranged on the plate - you know
someone's fingers have been all over it.” ~ Julia Child<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<br />
<br />
As much as I love cooking, I adore going out to eat at restaurants. Josh & I love to try new places and of course have many repeat favorites as well. When we have the extra money, we definitely like to splurge on some nicer places now and then. Two of our current fancy favorites are Les Rendez-Vous which is a delicious French restaurant in San Bernardino, and the Cracked Crab which is an amazing seafood (especially crab) restaurant in Pismo Beach. I am thankful for the financial ability to afford to go out to eat, for the wonderful fun of reading a menu and deciding what special treat to order, and then enjoying our meal and discussing what we loved about it. Restaurants are so much fun and I am definitely grateful for the opportunity to enjoy them.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><i>“How can we thank God
enough for you in return for all the joy we have in the presence of our God
because of you?” ~ </i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><i>1 Thessalonians 3:9</i> </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><i>Dear heavenly Father, thank You so much for the special people you have placed in my life - wonderful family and friends who are such a blessing to me. Thank You for the ways You have drawn me closer to You in the past years. Thank You for the experiences and struggles that pushed me deeper into Your Word and allowed me to learn and grow in knowledge of and love for You. Help me to remember to always be thankful and to let the people who are special to me know how much I love and appreciate them. Thank You for loving us. I love you too. Amen.</i></span></span>Kerihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06599186443051980672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3399757744978134547.post-71077938469914363042014-11-08T22:42:00.001-08:002014-11-08T22:42:43.691-08:00Thanksgiving - week 1 - “We thank you, God, we thank you ..." ~ Psalm 75:1For the month of November, I'd like to do things a little bit differently for my blog. I love this time of year. It's (usually) cooler, holidays are on the way, time with family and friends is on the horizon and I'm reminded to be thankful for the many blessings in my life. <br />
<br />
For the rest of the month, I plan to write a blog once a week listing 7 things I'm thankful for. These won't be in any particular order, just as they occur to me so please don't assume that something is more or less important to me based on when I mention it. :) Hopefully, every Saturday I will post and my goal is to get back to my usual weekly blogging in December. Thanks for reading this blog...it means a lot to me. <br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>Thanksgiving Thankfulness</i></b></span></div>
<br />
1 - <b>Breaking Bread aka Cake</b><br />
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<i>"I'm actually sort of anti-cupcake. There is an
aversion to intimacy that has led us down the cupcake path. Whatever happened
to the days when everyone was sharing a cake?" -Mo Rocca<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<br />
<br />
Who doesn't love cake? I love almost all baked goods and cupcakes are pretty delicious. But what makes cake or any baked good better is to be able to share it with someone special. I made my own birthday cake for the past two years - it was a delicious Pioneer Woman creation of chocolate cake, Nutella, homemade whipped cream and macerated strawberries - AMAZING! To be able to make a cake for someone is special. This year, my best friend posted a photo of a gorgeous Van Gogh-inspired layer cake and mentioned she'd love something like that for her birthday. So, I did my best and attempted it for her - her scream of delight when it was brought out was the best appreciation. I love cake, I love sharing cake with others. I'm thankful that cake exists. <br />
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2 - <b>Past Friends</b><br />
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<i>“’You have been my friend,’ replied Charlotte. ‘That in
itself is a tremendous thing.’” ~ E.B. White<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<br />
<br />
In a perfect world, we'd never have past friends, just friends. But life isn't perfect and things happen and sometimes friendships that were once so vital can disappear from our lives. I used to believe that I had to cling stubbornly to every friendship and "never let go." But I'm beginning to realize that sometimes people really do come into our lives for a specific time and purpose and they aren't meant to be there forever. The length of time doesn't keep them from being important, no matter how short or how long the friendship lasted. I am very thankful for the very special people who were once an important part of my life and I miss their presence. Even though they aren't part of my close circle of friends any longer, they were my friend and that is tremendous. <br />
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3 - <b>The Ocean</b><br />
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<i>“But the sea is a mighty soul, forever moaning of some
great, unshareable sorrow, which shuts it up into itself for all eternity. We
can never pierce its infinite mystery – we may only wander, awed and
spell-bound, on the outer fringe of it. The woods call to us with a hundred
voices, but the sea has one only – a mighty voice that drowns our souls in its
majestic music. The woods are human, but the sea is of the company of the
archangels.” ~ L.M. Montgomery<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<br />
<br />
I have always loved the ocean. I do not like swimming in the ocean (too salty and too many creatures). The vast size and incredible power of the ocean is just so amazing and awe-inspiring to me. Every time we drive up the coast, I'm like a broken record going on and on and on about how amazing the ocean is. It makes me so thankful to God for creating such a powerful, yet beautiful part of this world. I love the sound of waves crashing, the smell of the salty air, the cool air and frequent fog that spreads inland. The ocean is definitely one of my happy places and I am so thankful to have the opportunity to see it and thank God for it. <br />
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4 - <b>Tears</b><br />
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<i>“(By the way, don’t ‘weep inwardly’ and get a sore throat.
If you must weep, weep: a good honest howl! I suspect we – and especially, my
sex – don’t cry enough now-a-days. Aeneas and Hector and Beowulf, Roland and
Lancelot blubbered like schoolgirls, so why shouldn’t we?).” </i></div>
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<i>~ C.S. Lewis<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<br />
I haven't always been thankful for my tears and the fact that apparently I'm meant to be a very sensitive person and frequent crier. But my Mom has always told me to not be ashamed of them. Although there are times that I still wish I didn't immediately go to tears, as a general rule I accept with a smile the tears that come. There is something comforting and calming about crying...not always immediately, but after a good cry I do usually feel better. God made me this way and who am I to tell Him that He's wrong? So thank you God for tears...help me to accept them with grace, whenever they may fall. <br />
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5 - <b>Traditions</b><br />
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<i>“Oh, Eddie... If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the
carpet, </i></div>
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<i>I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now.” </i></div>
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<i>~ National Lampoon’s
Christmas Vacation<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<br />
<br />
I am so thankful for traditions. Thanksgiving is one of my favorites - I love the idea that almost everyone in America is eating similar food, on the same day, spending time with their family and friends all at the same time of year. It's comforting to think of that and even though the food at Thanksgiving isn't really my favorite, it's one of my all-time favorite holidays. Our family tradition is to decorate the house for Christmas on the day after Thanksgiving and then we watch the movie <i>National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation</i> together. Throughout the year we have other traditions - some involve movies like watching <i>High Spirits</i> on Halloween, some involve food like junk food appetizers on Super Bowl Sunday, some involve things like using Tupperware trays when we eat dinner outside on my parent's patio, or taking photos on Easter in our dressed-up best. My best friend and I have a tradition of Baking Day - each year during the holidays (or any other time we feel like it), we get together and spend the day baking and sharing all the yummy treats. It's wonderful time together and we look forward to it every year. I love traditions and I'm thankful for the ones our family celebrates and for all the ones all over the world.<br />
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6 - <b>My best friend Angela</b><br />
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<i>“Every time I think of you – and I think of you often! – I
thank God for your lives of free and open access to God, given by Jesus.
There’s no end to what has happened in you – it’s beyond speech, beyond
knowledge. The evidence of Christ has been clearly verified in your lives.” </i></div>
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<i>~ 1
Corinthians 1:4-6<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<br />
<br />
There are many reasons to be thankful for my best friend - our many years of friendship, our silly laughs, our code names and goofy phrases, her willingness to listen and support me, our mutual love for the film <i>Beaches</i>, Baking Day, so many things. But in the past few years, one of the biggest things I'm thankful for is her love for God and the ways that can be seen in all that she says and does. Her faith amazes me, makes me speechless in wonder, and reminds me daily of how good God always is. She helps me grow in my faith and gives me hope that miracles can and do happen. Her friendship is a gift that I am so incredibly thankful for and I love her dearly. <br />
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7 - <b>"Real-life" vs. happy endings</b><br />
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<i>“Only few ‘happy endings’ make us happy, but often someone’s
careful and honest articulation of the ambiguities, uncertainties and painful
conditions of life gives us new hope.” ~ Henri Nouwen<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<br />
<br />
My sister and I have a kind of running conversation about how she generally only likes to read or watch books and movies with happy endings, whereas I usually prefer those with what we call "real-life" endings - meaning the main characters don't always end up together or someone dies or essentially the ending is not a "happily-ever-after." I admit that I'm mostly drawn to stories that raise more questions than they answer, that look at the gray areas of life, that can be sad or lonely or hurtful. I completely understand the desire to want to see happy endings - I enjoy them as well of course - but I like things that challenge my thinking and make me see things in a new way. I really can't say exactly what this says about me, but I'm thankful for the ways the books I've read and the shows and movies I've watched have impacted my life. <br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<i>“We thank you, God, we thank you – your Name is our favorite
word; your mighty works are all we talk about.” ~ Psalm 75:1<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<br />
<br />
<i>Dear heavenly Father, thank You for being so amazing. Thank You for Your beautiful creation and the ways You live and move and have Your being in our lives. Thank You for providing so many wonderful things in my life. Help me to always, always, always find things to be thankful for and never forget how You take care of us. Thank You for loving us, I love you too. Amen.</i> Kerihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06599186443051980672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3399757744978134547.post-52103217383871465602014-10-21T16:57:00.002-07:002014-10-21T16:57:40.284-07:00“Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” ~ Mark 6:31Well, I'm going to be honest. Taking time to rest is rarely my problem. My problem is probably taking too much time to rest. What I struggle with is using that time of rest to seek God and daily renew my relationship with Him. However, I have a lot of people in my life who I love dearly who struggle almost daily with the idea of rest. They have so much to do - good things usually, important things even - but they get bogged down by all that doing and feel ashamed when and if they ever allow themselves to rest. This post is for them...because I love them...and because even more than that - God loves them and calls them to rest.<br />
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<i>“Lord Jesus, make my heart sit
down.” ~ African proverb<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<i>“My soul finds rest in God
alone;” ~ Psalm 62:1a<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<br />
<br />
There are many things in our lives vying for our attention - work, school, family, friends, exercise, TV/movies, church activities, etc. Most of these are good things, things that we should be doing. Things that aren't harmful to us. The problem lies in doing any one thing too much, or letting everything we have to do overwhelm us. Our culture is a busy, busy, busy one and we all feel the push to do everything at once, to multitask, to schedule and reschedule and overschedule our lives to do it all. We think that doing all these things will make us happier, healthier, wiser or better in some way. And there is some good. But we've forgotten moderation and many of us have forgotten the importance and the beauty of rest. <br />
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<i>“Remember, tho’ we struggle
against things because we are afraid of them, it is often the other way around
– we get afraid because we struggle. Are you struggling, resisting? Don’t you
think Our Lord says to you ‘Peace, child, peace. Relax. Let go. Underneath are
the everlasting arms. Let go, I will catch you. Do you trust me so little?’” ~
C.S. Lewis<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>
</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
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</div>
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<i>
</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<i>“Cease striving and know that I
am God…” ~ Psalm 46:10<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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We all want to control things and to rest often means that we have to let go of the things we want or feel we need to do. It can be difficult to do that. We don't want to let others down. We don't want to look like a "bad" Christian. We don't trust anyone else to do the things we do. We think that rest is a waste of time, that it means doing nothing, that nothing = nothing good. However, because of the hectic lives we lead, we often are so overwhelmed and burdened that we need much more rest that we'd ever allow ourselves the opportunity to have. We get so emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually overwhelmed that we often find ourselves at a breaking point. <br />
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<i>“We don’t have to think it’s
funny when we feel like we need some extra comfort. I sometimes sing about that
to children, but, as you know, I believe there’s a child somewhere in each of
us. We all have times like that – times when an extra measure of care is
needed. We need comfort and so does everyone else. And it’s nothing to be
ashamed of.” </i><br />
<i>~ Mister Rogers<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>“Under His wings you shall take
refuge.” ~ Psalm 91:4<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>“I will refresh the weary and
satisfy the faint.” ~ Jeremiah 31:25<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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When we find ourselves at that breaking point, we can only turn our weary bodies and minds over to God and say "Help." If we can allow ourselves to let go of some of the things we "have" to do, allowing others the joy and privilege to come alongside of us and carry some of the burden. We don't have to feel alone - God is there to carry the burdens that no one else can carry, that we should never have to carry. And He's provided family and friends in our lives who can come alongside with a meal, a shoulder to cry on, a willing desire to be helpful, or the ability to take over those things that have to get done. It's scary to let things go, to not be in control, to be vulnerable. But there is also great joy and love and peace in letting go, in not being in control, in being vulnerable. It allows us to see how much we are cared for and loved - by God and by the people He's placed in our lives.<br />
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<i>“‘God, the Master, says: From now
on, I myself am the shepherd. I’m going looking for them…I’ll rescue
them from all the places they’ve been scattered to in the storms…I’ll feed
them…And I myself will be the shepherd of my sheep. I myself will make sure
they get plenty of rest. I’ll go after the lost, I’ll collect the strays, I’ll
doctor the injured, I’ll build up the weak ones and oversee the strong ones so
they’re not exploited.” </i></div>
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<i>~ Ezekiel 34:11-16 <o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>“He tends His flock like a
shepherd: He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His
heart;” ~ Isaiah 40:11<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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God sees our struggles and He hears our cries even when they aren't spoken aloud. He loves us and wants us to depend on Him. He is our Shepherd - He will seek us and find us and call to us. We just need to listen to His voice and follow Him. To trust Him to take care of our needs - to rest secure in knowing that He is in control and we don't need to be afraid or worried. He wants us to snuggle into His arms and hear His voice speaking His truth and love into our lives. Unless we rest and be quiet, we won't hear Him. Unless we rest, we aren't able to quiet our minds and hearts enough to know what He wants to share with us. <br />
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<i>“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned
out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life.
I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how
I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or
ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and
lightly.” </i></div>
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<i>~ Matthew 11:28-30<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>“Our hearts are restless till
they rest in Thee, O Lord.” ~ St. Augustine</i></div>
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One of the things I've learned in the past few years is how to draw closer to God. Oh, I'm not perfect and I don't do it all the time. But I've learned the importance of sitting down with His Word and soaking up the truths He has given us. I've marveled at the height and depth and breadth of His all-consuming love for us - His people - His beloved children. I've been challenged to dig deeper and to learn more about what God says and how it impacts my life. I've been blessed by spiritual truths that calm my heart and heal the hurt feelings. One of the verses that really has spoken to me is this one:</div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><i><b>“He
will come to us like rain.” ~ Hosea 6:3</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">I'm not really sure exactly what it is, but it speaks volumes to my heart. I suppose it was as though my faith had dried out. It was there and I believed in God and trusted Him, but it was dry and lifeless. Until I was challenged and I felt passionate about what I believed and a deep desire to know and fight for those beliefs. As I read through God's Word in The Message, I could feel my heart and mind being watered by God's truth and love and grace. The more I read, the more I wanted to read. The words that I read seemed so fresh and clean and healing. I kept feeling this sense of exclamation and joy and my Bible has become filled with underlined passages, exclamation points, stars and notes proclaiming God's amazingness. I think that verse just kind of sums up what I've been learning and making me feel full - content - blessed in a way that I can't really explain. </span></div>
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<i>“My presence will go with you,
and I will give you rest.” ~ Exodus 33:14<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>“Christ, who loves us with an
everlasting love, understands our struggles, and can be trusted to provide us
with a rest we can never find on our own. His strength is enough for our
weakness, making Him our “sanctuary for the heavy laden.” ~ Bill Crowder<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>“The LORD will fight for you; you
need only be still.” ~ Exodus 14:14<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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We don't have to be strong all the times. We can put our trust and faith in God and lean on His strength which is far greater than any strength we might have. And in our times of weakness, if we choose to depend on His strength we can know we are safe and secure. I know I struggle with this many times, but in the times when I remember to trust Him there is a feeling of security that comes only from God. We sometimes worry that we need to try harder or work more to make God happy with us. But this couldn't be farther from the truth. God simply wants us to come to Him and admit that we can't do it on our own, that we are hopeless and helpless without Him and to place our trust and our hearts in His more than capable hands.<br />
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<i>“That is the absolute truth. God
loves you passionately, right now. He knows everything about you, your hopes
and fears, your dreams and disappointments. There is nothing you can do today
or tomorrow to change his love for you. Not only that, but he is in control.
You don’t have to fight to make things happen. You don’t have to feel
threatened when God blesses someone else’s life; you can celebrate it! You
won’t miss a thing that God has for you. Because God is omniscient
(all-knowing), omnipotent (all-powerful), and omnipresent (with us all the
time), we can rest.” ~ Sheila Walsh<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>“Be still, and know that I am
God.” ~ Psalm 46:10<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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I have always been drawn to the beauty of God's creation. Amazed by the varieties of colors, scents, textures, and tastes of His beautiful world. When I am in nature, I feel closer to God. Especially when near the ocean or a peaceful garden. It's often in these times I can settle my mind, clear my thoughts and focus on the wonder of God and then I am able to more easily listen to what He might be saying to me. When I went on my mission trips over the summers of 1996 and 1998, during Training Camp we had daily hour-long devotion time. We were encouraged to find a small bit of nature, do our assigned Bible reading and spend time talking to and listening to God. I loved those times and know I could do better at doing the same in my daily life now. Also those summers, we spent a final few days debriefing in a beautiful coastal town called Cayucos. We stayed at a church very near the ocean and those few days were so restful and full of peace. <br />
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I've been back to that town many times since then, and for my husband and I, it is a place of deep peace and true rest that we are drawn to every year. Sometimes for only one night, and occasionally almost a full week. Each time we return refreshed and relaxed, but happily anticipating the next time we can visit. Our time with God should be like our times in Cayucos...or wherever it might be that brings you feelings of rest and peace...a place where time slows down, there isn't much that "has" to be done, and there is time to feel the rest and recuperation that we all need. And at the end, there is joyful anticipation of the next time you can be in that place or in His presence.<br />
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<i>“The Lord is good, a refuge in
times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in Him.” ~ Nahum 1:7<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>“…but what joy for all who take
refuge in Him!” ~ Psalm 2:12b<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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We all need rest. We all want rest. God created us this way. He does not need rest, yet He chose to rest on the seventh day. There are many things He could have been doing, many good and noble and important things. The fact that He chose to rest should say something to us about how important God feels rest should be for Him and for us. You don't have to be afraid to let some things go. You can choose to delegate or allow someone to come alongside and assist you. If you feel yourself at the end of your rope, feeling overwhelmed and burdened by life's stresses - settle in God's embrace and have faith that He will see you through. We can trust Him for He is faithful. And even if you don't feel overwhelmed or stressed...rest is just as important for you. Setting aside time to focus on God and your relationship with Him is a vital part of our lives. <br />
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<i>“Be still before the LORD and
wait patiently for Him;” ~ Psalm 37:7a<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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This time with God doesn't need to become another burden or another thing to add to your list. It should be something to look forward to. Like a vacation that you've been anxiously anticipating all year long. But it's something you can enjoy at any moment. Revel in God's creation - a beautiful sunset, a delicious meal, a good book, the scent of flowers, the kindness of a friend, anything that makes you feel thankful to God. Choose to take that moment and enjoy it, thank God for it, rest in it. No, it isn't always easy. But it is a choice and I'm fairly certain that once you make the choice to rest in Him you will discover the joy that comes from His presence and love.<br />
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<i>Thank You, Lord, for arranging
the circumstances of my life so that I must stop and rest and sit at Your feet
in quiet solitude. Thank You for the healing I find there. Thank You for the
new truth and redefined purpose for my life. Help me apply the truths I find
when sitting at Your feet. </i><br />
<i>In Jesus’ name, Amen. ~ Girlfriends in God devotional 8/14/14</i></div>
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<i>Dear heavenly Father, thank You for providing us with the benefit and privilege of rest. Help us to remember that choosing to rest in You is the right choice and not something we should feel ashamed or guilty about choosing. Help us to spend time resting in You and listening for the things You want to tell us. Be with those who struggle with letting things go and resting in You. Help them to find a way to let go and refresh their faith and their lives in You. Please provide them a place and a time where they can draw closer to You and feel the refreshment that Your love and peace can bring. Quiet their minds from the accusations of the devil who wants them to think rest is a waste of time. Help them to rest in Your love and grace and enjoy the rest that You desire for them. Help me to be of assistance to those who might need me to come alongside them in their feelings of being overwhelmed. Help me to not be lazy, but full of joyful willingness to help. Use my life for Your purposes God. Thank You for the opportunity to write this blog and please guide my words to be a blessing and encouragement to others. Thank You for loving us and we love you too. Amen.</i> </div>
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<br />Kerihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06599186443051980672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3399757744978134547.post-28092318730450978562014-10-15T17:30:00.001-07:002014-10-15T17:30:10.269-07:00“If any of you lacks wisdom, [she] should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to [her].” ~ James 1:5Sometimes it can be scary to ask questions. We fear sounding uneducated, we're afraid someone will question our faith, we worry that our questions might sound dumb. It's hard to live in fear. I step into the fear zone way too often. I don't like to draw attention and asking questions requires attention. I've been afraid to share my thoughts and worries - most recently for fear of being accused of not being a true Christian. Although how someone can weigh someone else's Christianity now sounds silly since I know only God can know someone's heart. But I've been afraid and I remember how it feels to worry about asking a question.<br />
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<i>“<b>Never be afraid to
ask questions.</b> The Samaritan woman wasn’t shy about pressing for answers
and didn’t hesitate to ask for clarification. Sometimes we’re afraid to wade
into theological waters with someone more knowledgeable than we are for fear
we’ll ask the wrong questions or appear foolish. Take the risk. Find out what
you need to know. If the Lord has provided a teacher, be a willing student. If
she hadn’t asked all her questions about living water, the woman at the well
would have gone home with nothing but a pot full of lifeless liquid and a dozen
unanswered questions burning in her heart.” ~ Liz Curtis Higgs<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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In the past, I don't really think I ever truly struggled with knowing what I believed. I had wonderful examples - parents who loved God and lived out their faith every day in all ways; pastors and youth pastors and Sunday school teachers who loved God, loved people and helped me to learn and grow in my faith; mission trip leaders, Christian school teachers and relatives who lived their faith and taught me much about deepening my faith; and honestly I always felt close to God and didn't have any doubts or reasons to dig deeper for truth.<br />
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<i>“There are tremendous thoughts expressed in God’s Book, and
unless we have learned to rely on the Holy Spirit we shall say, ‘Oh, I shall
never understand that.’ But the Holy Spirit in us understands it, and as we
recognize and rely on Him, He will work it out, whether we consciously
understand or not.” ~ Oswald Chambers<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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All this changed for me when someone in authority began saying things that went against what I believed to be true. It stirred up questions and anxiety and anger and frustration. Although I disagreed with what I was hearing, I also wanted to know "why" I disagreed. I knew that it couldn't just be "because I thought so". I wanted to know the truth about what God had to say in His Word and so I began to dig deeper. <br />
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I had intense discussions about the topics that caused me to struggle. I began reading the New Testament in more depth, searching for answers. I began to seek out theology and doctrine and not just those which supported my current beliefs. I read the suggested readings of the person whose words I had disagreed with. I also read things from the opposite perspective. I cried and prayed and struggled and questioned. <br />
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<i>“Evening and morning and at noon
I will pray, and cry aloud, and He shall hear my voice.” ~ Psalm 55:17</i><br />
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<i>“God rewards those who seek Him.
Not those who seek doctrine or religion or systems or creeds. Many settle for
these lesser passions, but the reward goes to those who settle for nothing less
than Jesus Himself. And what is the reward? What awaits those who seek Jesus?
Nothing short of the heart of Jesus.” ~ Max Lucado</i></div>
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As I read more and prayed a lot, I began to deepen my faith and understand why I believed what I believed and why I disagreed so strongly. I began to try to understand the reasons why there are many on both sides of these types of issues who are true Christians who have earnestly sought God's truth and come to differing conclusions. I began to understand that while I did feel strongly about what I believed, that it was possible to come to a different conclusion. The important thing I discovered was that we will likely never know for sure (until we get to heaven) and ultimately it wasn't important who was "right". We want everything to be either/or...but God has made many things both/and...and this seems impossible to our human understanding.</div>
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<i>“As believers we cannot always know
why, but we can always know why we trust God who knows why, and this makes all
the difference.” </i></div>
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<i>~ Os Guinness<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>“I had to be willing to live
inside the mystery…Some things in life will never make sense. They won’t be
made right or explained. At least in our lifetime. They float around in a swirl
of mystery. I wanted God to explain all that mystery to me before I agreed to
trust Him. But I discovered it doesn’t work that way. He is God, and He doesn’t
have to explain anything. When I understood that, then I could surrender to
Christ and step inside the mystery instead of stand back and resist.” </i></div>
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<i>~ Robin
Jones Gunn<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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What is important is trusting God and loving Him with all my heart and mind and soul. If I can surrender and trust that He is in control, that He understands, that He is my only truth then my faith is secure. The important thing is believing that Jesus is who He says He is...believing in His death and resurrection...believing that He is the Son of God. Everything else is secondary and while it can be well and good to study the Word and form thoughts and opinions from that study, it's not what matters the most. I can disagree with someone about those secondary issues and I don't have to question my faith or theirs. <br />
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<i>“Honesty is often very hard. The
truth is often painful. But the freedom it can bring is worth the trying.” ~
Mister Rogers<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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What I came to realize is that while I was able to agree to disagree, not everyone is able to do this. This required some difficult and honest conversation that ultimately led to us stepping away from that person in authority. It was handled about as well as I was able and while perhaps it could have gone better, I also did not say or do anything I regret or feel badly about. I had to be honest...and it was very painful...but the freedom I've felt since leaving has been far greater than I could have ever imagined. Yes, I still feel afraid at times. Yes, I still struggle with understanding. Yes, I still have questions and doubts now and then. But I know that no matter what happens, God is with me. He is faithful, He is able, and He is trustworthy.<br />
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<i>“God can handle honesty, and prayer begins an honest
conversation. My belief is that when you’re telling the truth, you’re close to
God. If you say to God, ‘I am exhausted and depressed beyond words, and I don’t
like You at all right now, and I recoil from most people who believe in You,’ that
might be the most honest thing you’ve ever said. If you told me you had said to
God, ‘It is all hopeless, and I don’t have a clue if You exist, but I could use
a hand,’ it would almost bring tears to my eyes, tears of pride in you, for the
courage it takes to get real – really real. It would make me want to sit next
to you at the dinner table.” ~ Anne Lamott<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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One of the great joys I discovered in this time of struggle was the beauty of God's Word. One of my favorite discoveries was in Psalms. I found that as I read through the Psalms there was a cycle of praising God, crying out to God and asking God to curse and cause pain to one's enemies. After reading through this cycle a few times I was struck by the thought that God made our emotions - He knows that we have a full range of them and that we are constantly cycling through them. Perhaps the Psalms was His way of assuring us that it is okay to struggle...to question...to be angry...to be hurt...to be happy. The truly important thing is to be honest before God with all those emotions...to hold nothing back from Him and to ultimately trust Him to know what to do with our concerns and feelings. He wants us to be real...really REAL...and although He already knows everything about us, He wants us to choose to share it with Him. This was a life-changing insight for me and took a huge weight off my shoulders...to know that I can be real about my feelings and my questions, but to give them all to God knowing that He can be trusted. <br />
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<i>“Authenticity implies honesty, struggles, questions, desert
times, shaking fists, and hopeful silences. I can only model what I am
experiencing. Anything else is either behavioral modification or ‘faking it’ –
neither of which is transformational…God lives in the struggle. It is there we
find Him.” ~ Nancy Ortberg<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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I think we get afraid sometimes that having questions or raising doubts is something that a "good" Christian never does. But I'm discovering that this isn't true at all. We all have questions - God made us to be curious and He is not frightened or worried or diminished by our worries and doubts. God wants us to be honest...so if that means you have questions - be honest. If that means you have doubts - have faith that even if you can't understand that God does. We may never know all that He knows, but we can still trust Him.<br />
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<i>“Be patient towards all that is
unsolved in your heart, and learn to love the questions themselves.” ~ Rilke<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>“Doubt is not always a sign that
a man is wrong; it may be a sign that he is thinking.” ~ Oswald Chambers<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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There is always something new to learn about God. And having questions or concerns or even doubts is never a bad thing. What matters is whether or not those things lead you closer to God or drive you further away. If we can learn to let those questions draw us deeper into relationship with God, deeper into study of His Word and deeper into conversation with Him through prayer and thanksgiving...then those struggles are worth far more than we can imagine. While I would never willingly choose to go through struggles (who would?), I am so incredibly grateful for the questions and doubts that arose in the past few years. The reason - because it drew me closer to God and made my relationship with Him more real and true than it had been in years...perhaps ever.<br />
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<span class="usercontent"><span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>"Experience
is never your guide; experience is the doorway for you to know the Author of
the experience. Get at the knowledge of God for yourself, be a continuous
learner, and the truth will open on the right hand and on the left until you
find there is not a problem in human life that Jesus Christ cannot deal
with." ~ Oswald Chambers<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<i>"Never stop learning. People stagnate, not through
backsliding, but because they stop learning and harden into a wrong mental
poise." </i><br />
<i>~ Oswald Chambers<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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Don't be afraid to ask questions. Don't be afraid when doubts arise. Don't be afraid to wrestle with your faith. Let those things draw you closer to God. He is able to handle your fears. He is capable of withstanding your doubts. He is faithful to meet you where you are and lead you to the place He has for you....but you have to make the choice to place your hand in His and trust Him. God loves you and He wants to have a relationship with you. You must choose to be real with Him and love Him too.<br />
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<i>“You hear, O Lord, the desire of the afflicted; you
encourage them, and you listen to their cry” ~ Psalm 10:17<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>Dear heavenly Father, thank You so much for being big enough to overcome our fears and doubts and questions. Thank You for listening and being patient about our sometimes endless questions. You are a loving Father and we thank You for never growing tired of our curiosity. Thank You for giving us a full range of emotions and for being kind enough to suffer through our cycles and depths of emotion. Thank You for times of struggle and the ways that it can lead us to deeper relationship with You. Help me to remember to seek You when I feel afraid, to trust You when I have doubts and to ask You when I have questions. Thank You for the people You've placed in my life who've helped lead me to deeper knowledge and understanding of You...and for showing me what it means to be loved and for allowing me to show love to others. You are the mighty God and I thank You for loving me. I love you too. Amen.</i>Kerihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06599186443051980672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3399757744978134547.post-53009766849421598712014-10-01T20:08:00.000-07:002014-10-01T20:10:37.194-07:00“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new” ~ 2 Cor. 5:17Did you ever wish you could change your past? Do you ever think that maybe what you've done is the worst thing and that there is nothing that can change and you're doomed to be a "bad person" for the rest of your life? I think we all have moments in our past that we wish could be different, that we wish we could be better or do better. <br />
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I don't know if you know this about me, but I have a soft spot for villains and "bad guys." Like Heathcliff from the book <i>Wuthering Heights</i>, Lex Luthor from the TV show <i>Smallville</i>, or Regina and Rumplestiltskin on the TV show <i>Once Upon a Time</i>. What I have is hope for them - hope that if they received a little more love, affection, affirmation...then they might be able to rise above their evil nature and become good. We all want love and sometimes when we don't get it, some choose to seek out attention in negative ways. Some choose to hurt other people, some choose to hurt themselves. <br />
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We are created with a deep desire for love. God made us this way and in a perfect world we would receive this love easily. But our world is broken and sinful and often we don't receive love from our parents and our family or friends the way God intended. We feel lost and alone and unloved. We seek any kind of attention and "love" that seems to fill our need. Or we turn hard and bitter and lash out at anyone who tries to get close. We feel love is a lie and not to be trusted. All of this can lead to choices that we might come to regret.<br />
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<i>“For what it’s worth: it’s never
too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you’re proud of,
and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over
again.” ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>“Since we’ve compiled this long
and sorry record as sinners (both us and them) and proved that we are utterly
incapable of living the glorious lives God wills for us, God did it for us. Out
of sheer generosity he put us in right standing with himself. A pure gift. He
got us out of the mess we’re in and restored us to where he always wanted us to
be. And he did it by means of Jesus Christ.” ~ Romans 3:23-24<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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But there is hope - and His name is Jesus! God loves us - individually and unconditionally - and even though our world is broken He created a plan to allow us to come back into relationship with Him. By the life and death and resurrection of His only Son Jesus, we are able to confess our sins and accept His sacrifice in our place and have that loving relationship we've been searching for! Isn't God good? He's made a way for our past to be forgiven and forgotten and for us to have a hope and a future.<br />
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<i>“Forget the former things; do not
dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not
perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”
~ Isaiah 43:18-19</i></div>
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The experiences of our past may be difficult and we may wish that we didn't have to go through them. But God can use all of our experiences and bring good. Sometimes through the ability to share with someone that they aren't alone - that they aren't the only one. Sometimes our struggles help us to realize that we can't do something on our own and that we need to depend on God. Every single thing we go through helps to shape us into the person we are and how we deal with those experiences helps to determine who we will be.</div>
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<i>“This is what the past is for!
Every experience God gives us, every person He puts in our lives is the perfect
preparation for the future that only He can see.” ~ Corrie Ten Boom<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>“It’s the hard things that God
really uses. The things we hate going through, the things that push us to our
limits. When we look back, we may never want to go through the pain again, but
we’re grateful for the results.” ~ Jeri Odell<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>“But if I would show the good
that came of it I must talk about things other than the good.” ~ Dante<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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When we come to discover that we aren't capable on our own, that we need something more...and we realize that what we need is Someone more, that is when there is light at the end of the tunnel. When we can see God for Who He is and we accept the sacrifice of Jesus on our behalf. It isn't about doing something or working hard or becoming "good". All we have to do is plop our messed up, hurting, scarred and unloved selves in God's open arms and say "I'm sorry. I need You. I love You." We aren't expected to be perfect, we don't have to be "fixed." It's not about what we do, but about what God will do in us.<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><i>"Prayer
is taking a chance that against all odds and past history, we are loved and
chosen, and do not have to get it together before we show up. The opposite may
be true: We may not be able to get it together until after we show up in such
miserable shape.” ~ Anne Lamott </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><i>“God loves you not because of who
you are or what you have done but because of who he is. Our behavior does not
impact the heart and character of God. We think that on good days, God is proud
of us; and in our not-so-attractive moments, he loves us less. This is applying
human logic to the heart of God, and it will always come up short. There is
life-changing truth in the message of these three little words: God loves you!”
~ Sheila Walsh<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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As we turn over our lives to God, and turn over our past, He begins to work in us and the more we trust Him the more like Him we'll become. As we come to know God by reading His Word and speaking to Him through prayer we start to see how much He loves us. As the more we feel His love, the more we will want to chose to do those things He calls us to do. Not because He will love us more, but because we love Him more. Just like in our relationships with other people - when we love someone we want to spend time with them, to do special things for them and with them, we want to shower them with our love and attention and affection. And no one who loves us - even those who love us a lot - can ever love us as much and as unconditionally as God loves us. <br />
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I read this quote somewhere (wish I could remember where) and it's been taped to my computer at work ever since as a daily reminder:<br />
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God didn't <u>even </u>love you....He <b><i><u>so</u></i></b> loved you.</div>
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Not - "Oh, I guess God loves me, even though I did this and that and I fail and I'm not perfect and so on and so on..." <br />
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But - "God loves you soooooooo much, not because of anything you've done or not done, but just because He's chosen to."<br />
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We will never be perfect and we will make mistakes and fail sometimes. But what happened in our past, once we've asked God for forgiveness, is gone. We don't have to worry that He might bring it up again to throw in our faces when we fail. Satan will do that to us...he'll try to convince us that we aren't truly forgiven. That we can't possibly do good or get better. But we have to remember that he is a liar. God forgives and, even more amazingly, He forgets. <br />
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<i>“If God forgives us we must
forgive ourselves otherwise it’s like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal
than Him.” ~ C.S. Lewis<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>“Finish each day and be done with
it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept
in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it
well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old
nonsense.” </i></div>
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<i>~ Ralph Waldo Emerson<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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Once we give our lives to God, we will still have struggles. We will still be tempted and we may sometimes succumb to temptation. The key is to admit our failure, ask for forgiveness and move forward. Give it to God and then let it go. We will face difficult experiences, we may feel overwhelmed by our fears and doubts, but if we remember to turn to God, to remember that we can depend on Him, then we can have a firm foundation. God will never leave us, even when we feel alone - He is always there. <br />
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<i><span class="text">“Friends, when
life gets really difficult, don’t jump to the conclusion that God isn’t on the
job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ
experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the
corner.” ~ </span>1 Peter 4:12-13<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><i>“You hear, O Lord, the desire of the afflicted; you
encourage them, and you listen to their cry” ~ Psalm 10:17<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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God works everything together for our good. The bad times, the hard times, the good times - all of it works together to create in us the purpose He has for our lives. And through it all, we can depend on the truth that He loves us. He loves us completely and unconditionally. It's never dependent on what we do or do not do. It's all Him and when we know we are loved, we can be who He has made us to be. We don't have to be afraid, we don't have hurt ourselves or others, we can rest secure in the love our heavenly Father showers over us day after day.</span><br />
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<i>“Jesus never fails to see us with
love, even though we have scars of sin and a rumpled nature that shows in our
stutter-step faithfulness.” </i><br />
<i>~ Our Daily Bread devotional 3/15/13<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>“God told them, ‘I’ve never quit
loving you and never will. Expect love, love and more love! And so now, I’ll
start over with you and build you up again,’” ~ Jeremiah 31:3<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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Our past does not have to define us. God can take the experiences we've had and turn them around for His good and His purpose. He showers us with His overwhelming and unconditional love and fills the empty places in our lives and heals the hurts. Once we know how much He loves us, we are able to overflow with that love onto others and toward God. We can be a new creation in Christ - we can turn away from our villain status and become a hero. That is the power of love - God's love. We are made new. What an amazing gift!<br />
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<i>Dear heavenly Father, thank You for the wonderful gift of Your incredible love. Thank You for making the sacrifice of Your only Son so that we can be reconciled to You. Even though we may not always be proud of our past experiences, thank You for the ways that You use our past to teach us, to draw us closer to You and to share our lives with others. Thank You for your gift of forgiveness. Help me to desire Your will for my life, to trust You when I feel afraid and to remember that You are in control and that You love me. For those who feel that their past is too bad, that they are too "villain-like", that Your forgiveness can't possibly apply to them - help them to see the truth. Help them to see that You do love them, that You will forgive and forget, that Your grace is sufficient. Thank You for loving us. We love you too. Amen.</i><br />
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<br />Kerihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06599186443051980672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3399757744978134547.post-32807087345604645962014-09-23T17:25:00.001-07:002014-09-23T17:25:38.680-07:00“Our Lord is great…we’ll never comprehend what He knows and does.” ~ Psalm 147:5Do you ever struggle with understanding God's will? Of course, on one hand we all know that there is absolutely no way to understand God's will or God's plan. He is so much more than we can imagine and He is not limited by our understanding. On the other hand, we all try at times to figure out what He should do or why He does some things. Most of the time, I just try to let go and be content with the fact that I can't know or won't know and He is in control.<br />
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<i>“I had to be willing to live
inside the mystery…Some things in life will never make sense. They won’t be
made right or explained. At least in our lifetime. They float around in a swirl
of mystery. I wanted God to explain all that mystery to me before I agreed to
trust Him. But I discovered it doesn’t work that way. He is God, and He doesn’t
have to explain anything. When I understood that, then I could surrender to
Christ and step inside the mystery instead of stand back and resist.” </i></div>
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<i>~ Robin
Jones Gunn<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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This reminds me of a conversation Josh & I were having on Friday night. We had dinner with our beloveds and the topic of conspiracy theories came up. This is fascinating stuff for Josh and he really gets into it. It's not a favorite topic of mine, but I was trying to explain to him what I think about it. Yes, conspiracies and cover-ups exist and while it is interesting to discuss and research we will never know for certain the answer to questions like - who killed JFK? was Marilyn Monroe killed or did she really commit suicide? did aliens land on earth and exist in Area 51? etc. We won't know the answers because people don't want us to know and maybe we shouldn't need to know everything. I can be frustrated that I don't know the answers, or I can just let it go and trust that it's in my best interest to not know. And in regards to conspiracy theories, sometimes I just don't care enough to research or ponder. It's kind of like God's will - we can't know everything even if we want to and we can either be frustrated or just be content to trust Him. <br />
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<i>"God wants us to realise His
sovereignty. We are apt to tie God up in His own laws and allow Him no free
will. We say we know what God will do, and suddenly He upsets all our
calculations by working in unprecedented ways; just when we expected He would
do a certain thing, He did the opposite. There are unexpected issues in life;
unexpected joys when we looked for sorrow, and sorrow when we expected joy,
until we learn to say, all my expectations are from Thee." ~ Oswald
Chambers<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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God works in mysterious and, what can seem to us, contradictory ways. He is gracious when we would be judgmental. He is loving when we would be angry. He allows us to hurt when we want Him to heal. He can see the big picture that we are incapable of seeing from our limited perspective. He moves in our lives in ways we don't understand and can't imagine. Most often we can see more clearly looking back the hows and whys of things we have to go through - and sometimes we never understand but we have to choose to trust that even in our inability to understand He is in control.<br />
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<i>“Consider what God has done: who
can straighten what He has made crooked? When times are good, be happy; but
when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other.” </i></div>
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<i>~
Ecclesiastes 7:13-14b<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>“The will of God is never exactly
what you expect it to be. It may seem to be much worse, but in the end it’s
going to be a lot better and a lot bigger.” ~ Elisabeth Elliot<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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Learning to be content in our circumstances and learning to trust God even when we don't understand...that is difficult. That is something we learn our whole lives. And just because we get scared and forget to trust doesn't mean we failed forever. It's then that we put our hand back in His and say "I trust You." I struggle with this a lot. I do believe that God is in control and I do trust that He has a plan. But when troubles come, as they always do, I tend to get worried and scared and wonder what in the world I am going to do. I take my eyes off of God and try to succeed on my own...and always fail...and then I am reminded that He is in control, that all I have to do is trust Him. <br />
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<i>“Who is like the LORD our God,
the One who sits enthroned on high, who stoops down to look on the heavens and
the earth?” ~ Psalm 113:5-6<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“By Him all things were created that are in
heaven and that are on earth, visible and invisible.” ~ Colossians 1:16<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>“As the heavens are higher than
the earth, so are My ways higher that your ways and My thoughts than your
thoughts.” ~ Isaiah 55:9<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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Do you ever think about how big God is? How majestic and amazing and incredible He is? He has always existed. He created everything. He created us and knows every intimate detail of us. He knows how many hairs are on your head. He loved us so much that He sent His only Son to come and die for our sins and be resurrected so that we could have the opportunity to be with Him forever. Everything that we see and understand - He knows. Even the things we don't understand and don't see - He sees them and knows them. He is so much more than we can imagine or understand. It can be overwhelming, but in the best possible way. Because He is so big and He is completely in control we are able to rest in Him...we are able to be content. But we have to trust Him.<br />
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<i>“You can’t always see God’s purposes in every season, but you can always have His peace, His presence, and His promises.” </i></div>
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<i>~ Christine Caine</i></div>
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<i>"According to the wisdom of
this world, God seems to be haphazard. He is not calculable in His providence;
He works in ways we cannot estimate. If we try to work things out in logical
ways, we are apt to find that suddenly in the providence of God a great
upheaval comes we had never calculated on." ~ Oswald Chambers<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>“God is not a man, so He does not
lie. He is not human, so He does not change His mind. Has He ever spoken and
failed to act? Has He ever promised and not carried it through?” ~ Numbers
23:19<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<o:p>It's incredible to look back at ways that God has provided. Things that don't make sense or that shouldn't be important. Like the unicorn stuffed animal that I wanted as a child and God provided through the relationship of a man who recycled trash with the neighborhood who noticed and set things aside for him. I didn't <i>NEED</i> a unicorn, but how blessed I continue to be knowing that God heard and provided a simple child's heartfelt prayer request. Or how God provided ice and a chair with a back in the midst of training camp - just when I needed it and even before I thought to pray about it. God knows everything about us. He knows the things we are afraid to imagine or ask for in prayer. He knows the things we're scared to admit. He knows our fears and our joys and our struggles. </o:p></div>
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<i>“Our stories affect one another
whether we know it or not. Sometimes obedience isn’t for us at all, but for
another. We don’t know how God holds the kingdom in balance or why He moves a
chess piece at a crucial time; we might never see the results of His
sovereignty. But we can trust Him when He says press on, cling to hope, stay
the course. He is always at work, even if the entire thread is hidden. I might
just be one shade of one color of one strand, but I’m a part of an elaborate
tapestry that goes beyond my perception.” ~ Jen Hatmaker<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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One of the ways I see God's hand at work is in my best friend. We've known each other for 21 years and in those years we've had our ups and downs. We fought over the same guy, we went to different schools during our senior year in high school, we struggled with growing up and growing apart, and though we've had some pretty difficult times apart, God has always brought our lives back together. I don't understand why this one relationship has been able to break and hurt and then heal and grow even stronger so many times but I know it's simply due to God at work in the two of us. <br />
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Over the past few years, I have seen a change in my best friend. Something I had prayed for, but to be honest wasn't sure would ever happen. I always loved her as she was and did my best to be the best friend possible. But in her now I see a depth of love and trust in the Lord that has truly been a miracle. It's not that life has gotten easier - in fact, she's had many struggles. But she trusts God with her life - she has sought forgiveness from people she hurt and forgiven people who had hurt her, she frequently asks for prayer and often gives such good advice and Godly wisdom and it just blesses my heart. I have always been grateful for her friendship and I am doubly thankful for the ways that I've learned more about God through her and the ways He keeps drawing our hearts together as friends and sisters. <br />
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<i>“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him.” ~ 1 Corinthians 2:9</i></div>
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I think God just loves to go above and beyond our wildest imaginings...He must get such joy from blowing our minds. And even when we experience difficult things that make us question God, we have to remind ourselves that He is God and what He knows we may not be able to understand but He does and all we have to do is trust Him. Yes, it can be hard to do this...but when we do we can have His peace. We like to have control...or think we have control. But really it's an illusion. What we can trust is God - He is faithful, He is love, He is God. <br />
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<i>“Do not be anxious about
anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present
your requests to God. And the peace of God …will guard your hearts and your
minds in Christ Jesus.” ~ Philippians 4:6-7<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>“O LORD, You know what’s good and
bad, what’s better and worse, what’s best and worst – may my prayer be as You
wish it to be.” </i></div>
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<i>~ Thomas a Kempis</i> <o:p></o:p></div>
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Last week, a coworker shared this wonderful illustration at our monthly staff meeting. Whenever we tell someone we care about "I love you", they usually will respond with "I love you too." Well, since we know that God loves us and is always telling us "I love you", then we should respond with "I love you too." I'm definitely going to try to remember this...maybe you will too. <br />
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<i>Dear heavenly Father, thank You for being trustworthy and faithful. Thank You for being so much more that I can possibly imagine and for designing this beautiful world and all that is in it. Help me to remember to trust You even when I don't understand or whenever I'm scared and feel alone or worried. Bring reminders to mind of Your faithfulness so that I remember to place my complete trust in You. I know You have a plan for my life and I want to trust You to fulfill that purpose in whatever ways You desire. Thank You for loving me. I love you too. Amen.</i>Kerihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06599186443051980672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3399757744978134547.post-59684712182957109682014-09-16T18:24:00.002-07:002014-09-16T18:24:51.486-07:00“Be patient. God isn’t finished with you yet.” ~ Philippians 1:6I'm having trouble figuring out my new beginning. I know God brought me through the past few years for a reason. I know that the struggle and controversy and deep study was important. I have faith that there is a purpose. And like the title of this post, I'm trying to be patient because I know God isn't finished with me yet. Ultimately, I know I'll spend the rest of my life learning about God, drawing closer to Him, and finding new and deeper ways to know and love Him. <br />
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<i>“We must be willing to get rid of
the life we’ve planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” ~ Joseph
Campbell<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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As expected, I went through a lot of emotions on this journey. I was angry, I was hurt, I was confused, I was heartbroken, I was sad, I was mad. I didn't want to leave a place where I felt at home, but as weeks passed it felt less and less like a safe place. I felt a desperate hunger to read the Bible and know what God had to say about the topics I was struggling with. I felt an (unwanted) need to study theology and read books that didn't appeal to me generally. As I studied and read and pondered and prayed, I kept feeling like there was some kind of future purpose for all this. Some way to share what I had gone through and how it affected me. In a lot of ways, this blog feels like the fruition of that feeling of purpose. But perhaps there is more. <br />
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<i>“God, make a fresh start in me,
shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life.” ~ Psalm 51:10<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>“Beginnings hold the promise of
hope, the expectation of the new and fresh. They are a chance to start over or
anticipate.” ~ Nancy Ortberg<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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God is big on new beginnings. He is in the business of taking us from where we were to the places He wants us to be. He is more than capable of turning the pain of our past into the promise of tomorrow. The Bible is full of stories of people who messed up - some of them big time and some of them what we might consider small or not at all - who God chose to use for His purpose and for His glory. While we may not be able to understand why God does the things He does, or why He chooses to use our broken, messed up selves, we can cling to the knowledge that He is faithful, He is in control and He is God.<br />
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<i>“Perhaps…the most important thing
is to keep on; not to be discouraged however often one yields to the
temptation; but always to pick yourself up again and ask forgiveness.” ~ C.S.
Lewis<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>“When God forgives, He never
casts up at us the mean, miserable things we have done. ‘I have blotted out, as
a thick cloud, thy transgressions, and, as a cloud, thy sins.’ A cloud cannot
be seen when it is gone.” </i></div>
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<i>~ Oswald Chambers<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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I mess up. I make poor choices. I hurt people who I love. I don't usually intend to do it, but I let my selfishness get in the way of being loving and forgiving. I am definitely not perfect. But when I mess up, I go to God and ask forgiveness. He is ready and willing to forgive and even more exciting...to forget. He never brings up our past. We do that often enough on our own...and definitely Satan likes to bring up our past and tries to make us believe that God couldn't possibly truly forgive, let alone forget all the terrible things we've done. But he's wrong...God does forgive and God does forget.<br />
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<i><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">"Never limit God by
remembering what you have done in the past. When you come into relation with
the Reality of Redemption God creates something in you that was... never there
before; it is the active working of the life of God in you; consequently you
can do now what you could not do before." </span></i><i>~ Oswald Chambers<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>“Though I fall, I will rise
again.” ~ Micah 7:8<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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It can be hard...perhaps it even feels impossible...to move forward from our past. And we will never be perfect. We will always mess up. We will always need forgiveness. We will always have to begin again. But if we put our life in God's hands, we know that we are in the best possible place. He wants to make us new. He wants to work in our lives for good and make good things come from our life. Even from our past. We just have to keep trying...keep trusting...keep depending on God to see us through. And He is faithful and He is trustworthy and He is dependable and He loves us.<br />
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<i>“We don’t always succeed in what
we try – certainly not by the world’s standards – but I think you’ll find it’s
the willingness to keep trying that matters most.” ~ Mister Rogers<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>“Courage doesn’t always roar.
Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try
again tomorrow.’” </i></div>
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<i>~ Mary Anne Radmacher<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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God knows everything about us. Even the things we think are hidden - He knows. He knows the things we share willingly with Him or with others. He knows the things we want to hide - from others and sometimes from ourselves. He knows our emotions, our struggles, our hurts, our fears. He made us and He knows us intimately. And the only reason we can move forward from our past is because of Who He is and what He has done for us. Without the sacrifice of His Son and the resurrection that followed, we would never be able to measure up...we can't measure up. But Jesus stands in our place - His righteousness makes us righteous in God's eyes. And when we believe that, we can be free to live a new life in Christ.<br />
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<i>“The God of the universe, the one
who holds the stars and the moon in place, knows everything about you and loves
you with unprecedented abandon. He knows the good, the bad, and the ugly. He
knows the things you are proud of and the things you hide. He knows it all, and
he invites you to come just as you are and live the dream he has for you.” </i></div>
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<i>~
Sheila Walsh<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>“…you are adequate because God
is. So whether you are feeling not-good-enough or comfortably adequate in
yourself, the Lord knows and he is able. You are a servant of a new covenant –
not a law-based, do-it-yourself kind of faith, but a grace-based,
Jesus-already-did-it kind. This faith is based on his finished work, not our
work yet to be done. So let me encourage you to lead from that place, a place
of dependence, a place of freedom, a place of complete security.” ~ Emily
P. Freeman<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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God has a plan for our lives. He knows what He wants us do. He knows what choices we will make. He knows when we will mess up. He knows when we ask forgiveness. He knows how He will make beauty from ashes. It doesn't always makes sense...especially when we're in the midst of pain and suffering and hurt...but if we can just place our faith and trust in Him and His plan we can have joy. <br />
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<i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created
us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long
ago.” </i></div>
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<i>~ Ephesians 2:10<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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The below verse is another version of one I mentioned earlier...and it's like a prayer. I'm praying it for me...and for you. <br />
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<i>“Create in me a pure heart, O
God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from Your presence
or take Your Holy Spirit away from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.” ~ Psalm 51:10-12<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>Dear heavenly Father, thank You for Your forgiveness and Your plan for my life. Thank You for taking the pain of the past and making it into a beautiful future that shows Your goodness and grace. Please help me to depend on You, to remember that I'm always in Your presence, to never give up and to keep turning back to You when I fail. Thank You for Your salvation and help me to live for You. To obey. To live and move and have my being in You. Help me to be as gracious and forgiving toward others as You are toward me. Help me to trust You for the new beginnings You have for my life. Thank You for loving me. I love you. Amen.</i>Kerihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06599186443051980672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3399757744978134547.post-91309268045283107852014-09-11T16:39:00.001-07:002014-09-11T16:39:11.144-07:00“Mercy triumphs over judgment!” ~ James 2:13I've struggled a lot with this post. I tried to write last week, and several times this week, but for one reason or another I haven't been able to write. Honestly, part of it is fear. This topic strikes close to the one that caused us to leave our last church. There is fear about what people might think. There is fear about rocking the boat. <br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><i>“The
fear of human opinion disables; trusting in God protects you from that.” ~
Proverbs 29:25</i></span></div>
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I know I shouldn't be afraid. I know what God has shown me in His Word and the study He's had me on for the past years. I know that people's opinions aren't as important as God's opinion. I probably should read my post about fear and being afraid again. Here's the <a href="http://teetee-keri.blogspot.com/2014/07/whenever-im-afraid-i-will-trust-in-god.html" target="_blank">link</a> in case you struggle like I do. More important than my fear or worry is the truth of God - He is loving, He is merciful, He gives grace. These things are true - amazingly wonderfully true - all the time!<br />
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<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>"Among the lost souls in hell
there is not one that can say, "I went to Jesus, and He refused me."
It is not possible that you or I should be the first to whom Jesus shall break
His word. "This man receiveth sinners," but He repulses none. We come
to Him in weakness and sin, with trembling faith, and small knowledge, and
slender hope; but He does not cast us out. <b>We come by prayer, and that prayer
broken; with confession, and that confession faulty; with praise, and that
praise far short of His merits; but yet He receives us.</b> We come diseased,
polluted, worn out, and worthless; but He doth in no wise cast us out. Let us
come again today to Him who never casts us out." ~ C.H. Spurgeon<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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This idea that Jesus will accept us if we go to Him, confess our sins and ask forgiveness, and allow Him into our hearts and lives - I always believed that. I've known that since I was 4 years old and accepted the Lord. I've never questioned that belief or wondered about it. But...the following idea was raised by someone in a position of authority..."<i>It doesn't matter if we accept Christ, but if Christ accepts us</i>." It immediately raised concerns for me. It immediately upset me. It immediately caused me to question and doubt even more strongly the words this speaker had been saying for months. <br />
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<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“God
told them, ‘I’ve never quit loving you and never will. Expect love, love and
more love! And so now, I’ll start over with you and build you up again,’” ~
Jeremiah 31:3<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<i>
<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">“God’s
arms are always extended; we are the ones who turn away.” </span></i></div>
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<i><span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">~ Philip Yancey<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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God loves us and seeks a relationship with us. His arms are open wide and willing to accept us if we just let go and give our hearts to Him. We don't have to be afraid that we are too bad, too broken, too messed up or too sinful. If we confess, God will forgive. It is as simple, as profound, as incredible as that. He is in charge but we have to humble ourselves. And once we ask forgiveness, that sin is gone, forgotten, never to be brought up again. <br />
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<span class="usercontent"><span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“When God forgives, He never casts up at us the mean,
miserable things we have done. ‘I have blotted out, as a thick cloud, thy
transgressions, and, as a cloud, thy sins.’ A cloud cannot be seen when it is
gone.” </i></span></span></div>
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<span class="usercontent"><span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>~ Oswald Chambers<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><i>“Cry for help and
you’ll find its grace and more grace.” ~ Isaiah 30:19</i></span></div>
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Sometime in high school, I learned a simple description of the difference between grace and mercy. Grace is getting what we don't deserve. Mercy is not getting what we do deserve. These meanings have stuck with me and while I probably have sometimes taken their importance for granted, in the past few years I have been so grateful and humbled by God's amazing grace and mercy for us. He doesn't have to give grace, but He chooses to. We deserve judgment for our sins and our disobedience, and yet He has incredible mercy. Such amazing love!<br />
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<i>"Meditate a little on this
mercy of the Lord. It is tender mercy. With gentle, loving touch, He healeth
the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds. He is as gracious in the
manner of His mercy as in the matter of it…It is great mercy. There is nothing
little in God; His mercy is like Himself—it is infinite. You cannot measure it.
His mercy is so great that it forgives great sins to great sinners, after great
lengths of time, and then gives great favours and great<span class="textexposedshow"> privileges, and raises us up to great enjoyments in the
great heaven of the great God</span>…It is unfailing mercy. It will never leave
thee. If mercy be thy friend, mercy will be with thee in temptation to keep
thee from yielding; with thee in trouble to prevent thee from sinking; with
thee living to be the light and life of thy countenance; and with thee dying to
be the joy of thy soul when earthly comfort is ebbing fast." ~ C.H. Spurgeon<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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Here was part of my struggle - someone in authority was telling me that I was a terrible sinner who could not be assured of my salvation, that it was only through strict obedience to described interpretations of Scripture and essentially hard work that I could try to prove my faith and even then it might not be true faith. This contradicted everything I had been raised to believe, everything I had come to believe in my own walk with God. But it sounded so true and Biblically supported. I was conflicted and I was lost and I was upset. <br />
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<i>"It seems to me that we are far too willing to short sell
grace in order to obtain a set of rules that will "prove" our
devotion." </i></div>
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<i>~ Darlene “Dee” Parsons</i>
<a href="http://thewartburgwatch.com/2012/12/03/wayne-grudem-83-biblical-rules-for-gospel-women/" target="_blank">(in this article)</a>
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<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>"Look
back over your own history as revealed to you by grace, and you will see one
central fact growing large: God is love. . . . In the future, when trial and
...difficulties await you, do not be fearful; whatever and whoever you may lose
faith in, let not this faith slip from you: </i></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>God is Love." ~ Oswald
Chambers<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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The best thing that came out of this time of confusion and anger and hurt was my deeper faith and trust in God. I sought truth in God's Word. I prayed and I listened for God's direction. I sought the guidance and wisdom of strong Godly men and women that God had placed in my life. And I looked to the truth of what I already knew - God loves me, God saved me...I am His and He is mine...I am accepted in the Beloved...I am a child of God and nothing can change that truth.<br />
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<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“I'm
not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on
my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me.
Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of
this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to
Jesus.” ~ Philippians 3:12-14<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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God has done the true work. I am nothing without Him and His wonderful grace and mercy. I am a sinner who doesn't deserve anything but judgment...and yet God is gracious, He is merciful and He loves me. He loves you. No matter what you've done, no matter what you think about your worth - God is waiting for you to see His wide open arms of love and to confess your sin and let His truth and grace and mercy fill your heart. <br />
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<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“He
has saved us and called us to a holy life – not because of anything we have
done but because of His own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in
Christ Jesus before the beginning of time.” ~ 2 Timothy 1:9</i></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>“Let
us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive
mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” </i></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>~ Hebrews 4:16<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<o:p>I'm not perfect and my relationship with God is a journey that I will be on forever. I've learned that just because someone is in a position of authority doesn't mean that they are the ultimate authority...the ultimate authority is God. I've learned to depend on God alone...to study His Word and seek His direction in my life...I'm learning to not be afraid. I've learned what I believe and why I believe it. I've learned that growing involves struggle and conflict. I've been reminded how much God loves me and it makes me want to be sure that you know that God loves you too. </o:p></div>
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<o:p>I heard this song for the first time at my cousin Brandon & his wife Leyate's wedding last September. Theirs was a beautifully heartfelt rendition by their friends during a time of worship in their wedding ceremony and I just sobbed as I was reminded just how much God loves us. </o:p><br /><span style="line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">He does love us...oh how He loves us. </span></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/GzfPHnoT0-0?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<i>Dear heavenly Father, thank You, thank You, thank You for how much You love us. Thank You for Your amazing grace and Your incredible mercy. Thank You for the many things I've learned about You. Thank You for teaching me and surrounding me with people who help draw me closer to You. Help me to do the same for others. Please help me to not be afraid. Help me to place my complete trust and faith in You...in all circumstances. I love you. Amen</i>Kerihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06599186443051980672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3399757744978134547.post-27448511945886874612014-08-25T19:47:00.001-07:002014-08-25T19:47:04.444-07:00“Behold what manner of love the Father has given unto us, that we should be called children of God!” ~ 1 John 3:1It's incredible how much God loves us. He knows us, inside and out, and He loves us. He knows every good and bad thing we've ever done or thought of doing and yet He still loves us. He sees our brokenness, our selfishness, our anger, our fear, our sorrow and grief, our questions and accusations our joy and our vulnerability and through it all - all day, all night...forever and always - He loves us. He loves me. He loves YOU! Isn't that incredible?!?!?<br />
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<i>“God loves each of us as if there
were only one of us.” ~ St. Augustine<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>
“The truest measure of God’s love
is that He loves us without measure!” </i></div>
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<i>~ Bernard of Clairvaux<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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Your life - with all of its ups and downs - is important to God. Nothing else in the world is more important to Him. He is capable of knowing us intimately and being available to us at any time for any reason. <i>Each one of us, all the time</i>. It seems impossible, but nothing is impossible with God. He is more than we can imagine and although the world is immense, He knows every single bit of it. And He chooses to know us and love us.<br />
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<i>“God’s love is meteoric, his loyalty astronomic, His purpose
titanic, his verdicts oceanic. <b>Yet in his largeness <u>nothing</u> gets lost</b>; Not a
man, not a mouse, slips through the cracks.”~ Psalm 36:5-6<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><i>“He
counts the number of the stars; He calls them all by name.” </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><i>~ Psalm 147:4</i></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">Nothing is unseen. Nothing slips through the cracks. Every tear, every laugh, every fear, everything is seen and heard by our amazing loving God. We may not always understand why He seems silent or why He seems to not answer our prayers. But we can have faith that God is always with us and whether we understand now or not, He has a purpose for everything. </span><br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><i>“It’s a
mistake to think that we have to be lovely to be loved by human beings or by
God.” ~ Mister Rogers<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<i>“And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s
people should, how wide, how long, how high and how deep His love is.” </i></div>
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<i>~
Ephesians 3:18<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>“God loves you simply because He has chosen to do so. He
loves you when you don’t feel lovely. He loves you when no one else loves you.”
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<i>~ Max Lucado</i></div>
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No matter what we've done in the past. No matter what we've been doing. If we confess our sins to God and ask for forgiveness - it's gone. Forever and always. Never to be brought up again by God - completely forgotten. He knows we aren't perfect and He doesn't expect perfection. He wants us to love Him. He wants us to listen to Him. He wants us to know Him and spend time with Him. Just like we want to spend time with the people we love - God wants to spend time with us. And if we love Him as well, that means we should want to spend time with Him. We should want to learn all we can about Him.<br />
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<i>“This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his
one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by
believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn’t go to
all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling
the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again.” </i></div>
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<i>~
John 3:16-17<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while
we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” ~ Romans 5:8<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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God loved us so much that He sent His one and only Son to earth, to be born as a baby, to live a sinless (yet tempted) life, to die on a cross and to rise again on the third day and return to His Father's side in heaven. He did this because He loved us so much. Only through Jesus' sacrifice on the cross are we able to appear blameless and holy before God - Jesus stands in our place and His holiness makes us holy. When we accept this truth, we are able to know that one day we will be with God in heaven. And when we know that truth, and see the example of Jesus, we know what we should do. Love God and love people. It is truly that simple - not always easy - but that simple. </div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><i>“Mostly
what God does is love you. Keep company with Him and learn a life of love.
Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He
didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of Himself
to us. Love like that.” ~Ephesians 5:2<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<i>“If God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” ~ 1
John 4:11<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>“The best use of life is love. The best expression of love
is time. The best time to love is now.” ~ Rick Warren<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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I think that more than anything else I've learned in the past year, I've been amazed by how much God loves us. I knew this of course, and it's never been something I truly doubted or even questioned. But in our time at our previous church there was a lot of focus on how terrible we all are, what great sinners we are, how high the standards must be, how hard we have to work to be faithful and obedient, and much more. But there was a severe lack of love, of grace, of mercy - and while the law is truth and we are sinners - God's love is truth as well. God's grace is much more than we can imagine. His mercies never come to an end. <br />
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<i>“The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases, His mercies
never come to an end. They are new every morning great is Your faithfulness.
‘The LORD is my portion,’ says my soul, ‘therefore I will hope in Him.’” ~
Lamentations 3:22-24</i> <o:p></o:p></div>
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What I feel now is freedom. Freedom in Christ. To be who He has made me to be. To spend my time studying and learning about Him. To feel deeply in my heart and soul how much He loves me. To obey because I love Him and not because I'm afraid. I feel confident in resting in His love and knowing that He will always, has always, and will continue to always...always...ALWAYS love me. And it's true for you too. I want my life to show His love - to show it to others so that they know how much He loves them. I know I won't always succeed, but I want to keep trying to live in this truth and I hope that you can live in this truth too. <br />
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God loves You...really, truly He does. More than you can imagine. If God had a wallet, your picture would be in it. If He needed a refrigerator, your achievements would be displayed. We are His much loved children and there is nothing we can do that will ever stop Him from loving us. His love for you far exceeds anything you can imagine or have ever experienced and it is never-ending.<br />
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<i>“I lavish My love on those who love Me.” ~ Exodus 20:6a<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>“Father, teach me to love with the love of Christ that
others might see Your love reflected in my care and concern for them. May Your
love drive and dominate my responses to life and to others.” </i></div>
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<i>~ Our Daily Bread devotional 7/30/14</i></div>
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<o:p><i>Dear heavenly Father, Thank You for loving us so much. Thank You for sending Your Son to die on the cross for our sins so that when we accept You and Your sacrifice we are able to be with forever in heaven. Thank You for loving us like beloved children and thank You for loving us enough to place boundaries in our lives. Thank You for the times when we feel blessed by good things, and thank You for always being with us especially when we are drowning in difficult times. You are our amazing Father and Savior and I am so thankful for Your constant presence in my life. Help me to always be aware that You are there and to never forget to run to You with everything good and bad in my life. Thank You for always listening, for always comforting, for always wanting to spend time with me. Help me to remember to make time for You - to spend my time praising You, listening to You, reading Your Word and being with You. Thank You for loving me even when I don't succeed. Please be with those who read this blog - help them to know how deeply You love them, help them to make time to spend with You and for those who don't know You - open their eyes and their hearts to You. Help me to love others like You love me - especially those who can be difficult to love. Help my life to reflect Your love and for people to see You in me. I love you. Amen.</i></o:p></div>
Kerihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06599186443051980672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3399757744978134547.post-80139897085658330522014-08-19T00:23:00.003-07:002014-08-19T00:23:52.571-07:00“I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” ~ Psalm 139:14It's almost my birthday. I love my birthday. My parents have always made a big deal about birthdays and they remind us that this was the special day that God chose for us to be born and it's a big deal and it needs to be celebrated. We always got to have whatever meal we wanted for breakfast, lunch and dinner. We always had streamers and balloons that were put up the night before...we had to go to bed early "for no reason." My parents always spent as much as they could and we received multiple presents for our birthdays. Always a mix of fun and practical gifts - clothes, toys, books, etc.<br />
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I was born on my Auntie Terrianne's birthday (my Mom's best friend) and we have almost always celebrated our birthday together. My niece Katelyn was almost born on my birthday and even the year I was the same age as Auntie Terrianne when I was born, but she arrived two days prior - guess she wanted her own day! :) The first year I went on a mission trip - out of only 20 people on our team there were four of us all born on August 28! Different years, but still pretty amazing. <br />
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One of the things you may not know about me is that I don't really like attention. I prefer to stand in the shadows and I love to listen. This always causes a bit of a struggle with my birthday because I always want to celebrate with a party and all my friends and family...but I get shy and nervous about the attention. I even felt this way about my wedding but there's not much you can do about being center stage when you're the bride!<br />
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<i>“You are a very special person. There is only one like you
in the whole world. There’s never been anyone exactly like you before, and
there never will be again. Only you. And people can like you exactly as you
are.” </i></div>
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<i>~ Mister Rogers<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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This is one of my very favorite Mister Rogers quotes. I think it's something we all struggle with. I'm very thankful to have parents to have always told me how special I am, not only because of who I am, but more importantly because of who I am in Christ. But I know there are so many people who didn't have loving parents who instilled that sense of specialness in them...and even though it's simple, this quote speaks to the heart of so many people. <br />
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<i>“The fear of human opinion disables; trusting in God
protects you from that.” ~ Proverbs 29:25<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” ~ Oscar Wilde<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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I do think that part of my fear of attention is fear of what other people think and that's something I know many of us struggle with daily. There is part of me that feels confident about who I am and thinks that I don't need to worry about what others think. But then, there's another part of me that worries about how I look, or wonders if my opinions or thoughts would be upsetting to someone and so I keep them to myself, and so on and so on. Applying the truth that only God's opinion matters is an ongoing journey and I really don't expect to ever be perfect at it.<br />
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<i>“Be careful not to turn others’ lives into the mold for your
own. Allow God to be as creative with you as He is with each of us.” ~ Francis
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<i>“Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you
have been given and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with
yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take
responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.” ~
Galatians 6:4<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>“Never make a principle out of your experience; let God be
as original with other people as He is with you.” ~ Oswald Chambers<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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It can be all too easy to look at someone else's life, at their walk with Christ, at their gifting and think that we should be like them. But God made us all unique and He has unique plans for each of us. The way He made me - my personality, my emotions, my talents and gifts, my interests, the way my mind works - all it blends together to make me uniquely gifted for certain things. And He does this with every single one of us. ALL of us. And although He might sometimes do things similarly, it doesn't mean that He has to do the same thing every time. We have a wonderfully creative God. He made so many variations of colors, plants, flowers, animals, rocks, seasons, smells, foods, and the God who loves that much variety, loves to use as much (or more) variety in His favorite creation - people - Us!<br />
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<i>“Each person in the world is a unique human being, and each
has unique human potential. One of the most important tasks of growing is the
discovery of this uniqueness: the discovery of ‘who I am’ in each of us – of
‘who I am’ in relation to all those whom I meet.” ~ Mister Rogers<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>“But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the LORD
God my refuge, that I may tell of all Your works.” ~ Psalm 73:28<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be
pleasing in Your sight, O LORD.” ~ Psalm 19:14<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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Part of the process of learning who we are is learning about the One who made us. As we read through God's Word, we discover Who created us and what He has created us to be. We learn the things that are important to Him - to love Him and to love others. We learn about the world He has created, the people He has chosen and the sacrifice He has made for our sake. The more we learn about God, the more we know how to please Him with our lives. We learn Who He is and Whose we are...and as we learn to listen to His leading, we can discover who we are meant to be.<br />
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<i>“Part of what it means to be created in the image of God is
that each person has his or her own story, giftedness, and calling. I cannot
find mine by looking at yours. Your story may inspire me or warn me, but I
should never use it to determine my own.” ~ Nancy Ortberg<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>“Only let each person lead the life that the LORD has
assigned to [her], and to which God has called [her].” ~ 1 Corinthians 7:17</i></div>
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We do learn from each other. Most of the Bible is full of stories of other people's lives and experiences and we can learn a lot. Sometimes we learn what not to do, sometimes we learn what we should do. But each person has their own unique story and God has a plan for each of us. As we draw closer to Him through study and prayer and discussion, we can begin to determine the plans He has for us. And all along the way, the only thing we need to do is focus on Him. Love God and listen to Him and do what He asks. Be who you are - who He made you to be.</div>
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<i>“God made you as you are in order to use you as He planned.”
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<i>~ J.C. Macauley<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>“O LORD, You have searched me and You know me. You know when
I sit and when I rise; You perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going
out and my lying down; You are familiar with all my ways…For You created me in
my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You because
I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” </i></div>
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<i>~ Psalm 139: 1-3, 13-14a</i></div>
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One of my very favorite Amy Grant songs is called "All I Ever Have To Be." It is such a beautiful and simple song and every time I listen to it, it makes me cry. All the lyrics are meaningful, but the last verse is my favorite.</div>
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<i><b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">"All I Ever Have To Be"</span></b><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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</i><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><i>When
the weight of all my dreams<br />
Is resting heavy on my head<br />
And the thoughtful words of help and hope<br />
Have all been nicely said<br />
But I'm still hurting, wondering if I'll ever be the one<br />
I think I am - I think I am<br />
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Then you gently re-remind me<br />
That You've made me from the first<br />
And the more I try to be the best<br />
The more I get the worst<br />
And I realize the good in me is only there because of who You are<br />
Who You are...<br />
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And all I ever have to be is what You've made me<br />
Any more or less would be a step out of Your plan<br />
As you daily recreate me help me always keep in mind<br />
That I only have to do what I can find<br />
And all I ever have to be<br />
All I have to be<br />
All I ever have to be is what You've made me<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<i>~ Amy Grant song by Gary Chapman</i><br />
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<o:p><i>Dear heavenly Father, thank You for my birthday. Thank You for creating me and making me who I am. Thank You for the wonderful parents, family and friends that You have placed in my life and the many ways that they have loved me, taught me - especially about You, and been a support and encouragement in my life. Thank You for having a unique plan for my life - for each person's life. I pray that those who seek You and Your plan will come to know You and follow Your plan for their lives. Thank You for not expecting more of us that what we are and for loving us in spite of the many ways we mess up and fall down. Thank You for the sacrifice of Your Son - for His willingness to die for our sins and for the miracle of His resurrection so that we may have true freedom and grace. Thank You for loving us. I love you. Amen.</i></o:p></div>
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<o:p>PS - Last week, I talked about hurting my back and being in pain. Praise the Lord my back is almost 100% healed. Every day I've felt better and I am so thankful for the blessing of healing and I wanted you to know.</o:p></div>
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<br />Kerihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06599186443051980672noreply@blogger.com0